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FRICKINAWESOME
FRICKINAWESOME aka Evan Ferstenfeld is a 35.84 year old boy, has been a member since May 5, 2006, has scored 160,606 submissions, giving an average score of 1.79, helping 2,121 designs get printed.
Alumni Club Member
URL: http://www.MadeWithAwesome.com
I No Longer Have a Family Tree Because My Cousins Are Lumberjacks
of 181 votes, 57% like it
Adult Fairy Tales Have A Different Kind of Happy Ending.
of 166 votes, 48% like it
"My Precious." It Has A Nice Ring To It.
of 175 votes, 58% like it
I'm About To Do Something Unexpected In 3....... 2........ 57.
of 171 votes, 65% like it
To Make A Long Story Short, I Only Wrote The Ending.
of 167 votes, 64% like it
Zoology: The Study Of Zoos In Their Natural Habitat.
of 133 votes, 45% like it
I Don't Believe In Reincarnation, But I Did In A Past Life.
of 146 votes, 56% like it
The Apocalypse Would Be An Upgrade From The Day I'm Having.
of 150 votes, 47% like it
I Was Thinking About Banana Peels, But Then It Slipped My Mind.
of 142 votes, 47% like it
People Say I Overthink Things. I Wonder What They Really Mean.
of 190 votes, 68% like it
Germs Get Sick All The Time And Nobody Cares.
of 134 votes, 40% like it
Green: The Only Color That Cares About The Environment.
of 140 votes, 41% like it
I Hope All My Dreams Come True. Except The Naked Speech One.
of 142 votes, 59% like it
Due to budget cuts, the aphabet must drop a few etters.
of 134 votes, 51% like it
Reasons Why I Don't Like Making Lists: 1.____ 2.____ 3.____
of 133 votes, 36% like it
Cartoons Taught Me That Spinach Is A Substitute For Steroids.
of 153 votes, 52% like it
Remember To Look Both Ways Before Crossing Into Another Dimension
of 129 votes, 48% like it
The Only Trick My Pet Rock Can Do Is Jump Through Glass Windows.
of 149 votes, 56% like it
I'm Not Afraid of Anything, And That Kinda Scares Me.
of 125 votes, 53% like it
If The Ocean Is So Peaceful, Why Does It Try To Drown Me?
of 131 votes, 45% like it
I'm A Full-Fledged Citizen Of The Imagine Nation.
of 122 votes, 48% like it
Remember To Enjoy The Little Things In Life. Like Protons.
of 146 votes, 55% like it
There's A Thin Line Between Numbers And Fractions.
of 205 votes, 73% like it
If A Tree Fell In The Woods And No One Blogs It, Did It Happen?
of 142 votes, 48% like it
Building A Staircase Is A Multi-Stepped Process.
of 127 votes, 44% like it
Cheer Up! Your Problems Won't Matter Once Zombies Take Over.
of 148 votes, 59% like it
Mother Nature Just Wants Us To Get Off Her Lawn.
of 117 votes, 51% like it
Walking: A Step Forward In The Battle Against Standing Still.
of 118 votes, 53% like it
Ghosts Often Have Out-Of-Body Experiences.
of 103 votes, 37% like it
I’m Attracted To The Strong, Silent Type. You Know, Ninjas.
of 141 votes, 57% like it
Zombie Dogs Love Playing Undead.
of 139 votes, 62% like it
I Have A Time Machine. Other People Call It A Clock.
of 174 votes, 61% like it
Never Judge A Book By Its Cover. Judge The Cover Designer.
of 157 votes, 51% like it
I Play Duck, Duck Goose For The Thrill of The Chase.
of 108 votes, 39% like it
Slow Clapping Is Just Applause Foreplay.
of 124 votes, 44% like it
I Don’t Use Big Words, But I Do Increase Font Size.
of 168 votes, 64% like it
Ask Me About My Social Anxiety Issues.
of 124 votes, 52% like it
I Like That Thing You Like You Thought No One Else Liked.
of 127 votes, 56% like it
You Look Familiar, Did We Go To Ninja Academy Together?
of 120 votes, 43% like it
Calenders Prove That All Our Days Are Numbered.
of 147 votes, 63% like it
The Moon Is My Friend, It Stays Up All Night With Me.
of 106 votes, 45% like it
Rule Number One Of Debate Club: Is This A Good First Rule?
of 121 votes, 36% like it
Hey Gravity, Keep It Down!
of 164 votes, 66% like it
Sleep: The Original Energy Drink.
of 173 votes, 61% like it
I Am Highly, Exceedingly and Uncontrollably Addicted To Synonyms.
of 155 votes, 65% like it
Never Let A Hangman Show You The Ropes.
of 173 votes, 64% like it
Surprisingly, Rest Rooms Are Terrible Places to Take Naps.
of 190 votes, 67% like it
Come On Evolution, When Am I Gonna Sprout Wings And Lasers?
of 157 votes, 59% like it
Living Without Oxygen Would Be Cool But I'm Not Holding My Breath
of 127 votes, 55% like it
I Have A Fear Of Commitment, But Don't Hold Me To That.
of 133 votes, 54% like it
Black Holes Happen When A Stitch In Time Comes Loose.
of 110 votes, 42% like it
Bi-Polar Playgrounds Have Lots Of Mood Swings.
of 118 votes, 56% like it
Free Your Mind! Get A Lobotomy.
of 107 votes, 48% like it
I Learned Math By Counting Sheep During Class.
of 127 votes, 46% like it
To Get The Ball Rolling, I Usually Kick It and Run.
of 95 votes, 52% like it
My Shadow Wants Me To Come Towards The Dark Side.
of 101 votes, 60% like it
Clocks Have Withstood The Test Of Time.
of 86 votes, 42% like it
Fireworks Are Just Gun Powder Wearing Lots Of Makeup.
of 114 votes, 62% like it
Currently Straddling The Fence Between Reality and Insanity.
of 92 votes, 54% like it
Square Roots Are Really Hard To Plant.
of 133 votes, 67% like it
When I Complain It’s Like A Fine Whine.
of 87 votes, 46% like it
Immortality Never Gets Old.
of 111 votes, 59% like it
On Second Thought, Always Trust Your First Instinct.
of 157 votes, 78% like it
In Real Life, Boardgame Cards Do Not Help You To Get Out Of Jail.
of 84 votes, 39% like it
It's Time To Hit 'Refresh' On Your Reality Browser.
of 103 votes, 48% like it
I Have A Lazy Third Eye.
of 101 votes, 41% like it
In Case You're Wondering, This Doesn't End Well.
of 95 votes, 46% like it
Raise Your Hands If You Have OCD, Then Wash Them Nine Times.
of 105 votes, 54% like it
North Knows What’s Up, But South Knows How To Get Down.
of 97 votes, 53% like it
Scientists Find Their True Love Through Carbon Dating Websites.
of 89 votes, 51% like it
Living In The Past Makes Seeing What’s Coming Much Easier.
of 64 votes, 39% like it
Don't You Find It Awkward When People Stare At Your Shirt?
of 94 votes, 59% like it
Today I Counted To Infinity. What Have You Done?
of 107 votes, 62% like it
Crime Doesn't Pay If You're Not Good At Stealing Valuable Things
of 106 votes, 52% like it
Exercise Your Brain Today. Think About Push-Ups.
of 106 votes, 57% like it
The Game Of Hangman Is Proof That Illiteracy Kills.
of 110 votes, 58% like it
Ugly Presents Have Gotten A Bad Wrap.
of 84 votes, 48% like it
One Should Always Use Good Manners. Would You Please Go Away?
of 82 votes, 45% like it
Clams Are Horrified When They Arrive At The Pearly Gates.
of 72 votes, 40% like it
I Wave Back At The Ocean.
of 127 votes, 69% like it
Laziness Is Just Being Really Good At Doing Nothing.
of 102 votes, 63% like it
History Books Were A Lot Shorter Thousands Of Years Ago.
of 115 votes, 67% like it
Thanks Gravity! Without You, Flying Cars Would Be So Lame.
of 89 votes, 60% like it
Treasure Maps > GPS
of 105 votes, 69% like it
Is That Trouble Brewing Or Do I Just Smell Coffee?
of 81 votes, 54% like it
Too Much Food For Thought Made My Brain Fat.
of 97 votes, 61% like it
Life Is Full Of Colorful Characters When You've Got Some Crayons
of 98 votes, 60% like it
I'm A Big Fan Of Cool Oscillating Breezes.
of 92 votes, 46% like it
I Sure Hope This Shirt Doesn’t Wear Off.
of 87 votes, 37% like it
Superheroes Haven't Been The Same Since Phone Booths Vanished.
of 120 votes, 68% like it
It's Disastrous For Slugs To Take Situations With A Grain Of Salt
of 81 votes, 53% like it
Life Is What You Make Of It. I'm Making A Rocket Horse.
of 99 votes, 53% like it
Deer Always Lose In A Staring Contest With My Car.
of 89 votes, 53% like it
Don't Let Life Pass You By. Slam On Your Brakes And Block It.
of 79 votes, 42% like it
Instead Of Taking Life One Step At A Time, I Fall Down The Stairs
of 102 votes, 58% like it
I Exercise By Letting My Imagination Run Away With Me.
of 98 votes, 59% like it
Plumber Wanted. Must Like Mushrooms & Saving Princesses.
of 86 votes, 50% like it
When Money's No Object, You Can Buy A Lot Of Objects With Money.
of 77 votes, 44% like it
Illegal Aliens Must Be Stopped! It's Time To Build A Space Fence!
of 77 votes, 49% like it
People Say I'm Immature, But They're Just A Bunch Of Poopy Heads.
of 89 votes, 49% like it
Oxygen Is Always The Life Of The Party.
of 109 votes, 58% like it
Sticks and Stones Won't Break My Bones, But Trees and Boulders Do
of 99 votes, 62% like it
Blankets: They've Got It Covered.
of 115 votes, 67% like it
A Spelling Bee Recently S-T-U-N-G Me.
of 83 votes, 39% like it
I Pale In Comparison To Someone With A Better Tan.
of 81 votes, 48% like it
Let's Have Some Deep Thoughts Together And Make Idea Babies.
of 96 votes, 47% like it
I Dodged A Bullet Once By Going All Slo-Mo.
of 88 votes, 51% like it
Parents Take A Lot Of Child Abuse.
of 85 votes, 49% like it
GO GREEN. Absorb Lots Of Radiation and Get Angry.
of 93 votes, 49% like it
I'm Taking a Poll. But I've Got No Place To Put It.
of 74 votes, 45% like it
Keep It Down, The Monsters Under Your Bed Are Trying To Sleep.
of 85 votes, 52% like it
The City That Never Sleeps Just Has Insomnia.
of 81 votes, 44% like it
Kleptomaniacs Are Always Trying to Steal My Thunder.
of 89 votes, 53% like it
War Is Not The Answer, But It Puts Up A Convincing Argument.
of 88 votes, 52% like it
Skyscrapers Are Hilarious On At Least 100 Levels.
of 87 votes, 52% like it
Teddy Bear Stuffing Doesn't Taste Nearly As Good As A Turkey's.
of 85 votes, 47% like it
My Brain Is The Only One Who Truly Understands Me.
of 89 votes, 56% like it
Geometry: One Subject That Tries Its Best To Stay In Shape.
of 77 votes, 53% like it
Some People Know The Back Of Their Hand Disturbingly Well.
of 78 votes, 54% like it
Forget Music, Electricity Can Get Anyone To Dance Around.
of 70 votes, 49% like it
Loose Cannons Are Especially Dangerous On Pirate Ships.
of 79 votes, 43% like it
I Wish I Had A Laugh Track For When No One Gets My Jokes.
of 94 votes, 56% like it
I Fight Fire With Old-School Videogame Fireballs.
of 84 votes, 33% like it
Shadows Are Getting Tired Of People Walking All Over Them.
of 93 votes, 44% like it
What You Can't See Can't Kill You. Except For Ninjas.
of 127 votes, 68% like it
Daydreams: Because Sleeping At Your Desk Would Get You Fired.
of 104 votes, 58% like it
You're Weird. We Should Be Friends.
of 139 votes, 66% like it
The Grammar Police Need More Backup On The Internet.
of 118 votes, 61% like it
Being An Atheist Is My God-Given Right.
of 116 votes, 53% like it
Time Travelers Often Get Ahead Of Themselves.
of 111 votes, 62% like it
Some People Deserve A Second Chance. Those People Aren't Zombies.
of 102 votes, 62% like it
I Can Do Amazing Things But Only When No One Is Watching.
of 112 votes, 59% like it
Getting To The Heart Of The Matter Sometimes Requires Surgery.
of 91 votes, 52% like it
If You Shot The Sheriff, Who You Didn't Shoot Becomes Irrelevant.
of 138 votes, 67% like it
Since The Dawn Of Time, It's Been A Lot Brighter Outside.
of 85 votes, 47% like it
Seasons Change, Yet I Seem To Fall All Year Round.
of 86 votes, 38% like it
I'm Not Full Of Myself, Unless You Count My Inner Child.
of 92 votes, 48% like it
Birds Are Wary Of Both Left & Right-Wing Conspiracies.
of 81 votes, 46% like it
Rainbows Pass The Awesomeness Test With Flying Colors.
of 104 votes, 61% like it
Laws Are Made To Be Broken. Gravity, For Example.
of 90 votes, 50% like it
I Set The Bar High For Myself, Especially During Limbo.
of 142 votes, 68% like it
Many Mountains Fear They've Already Reached Their Peak.
of 99 votes, 49% like it
Living: It Saves Lives
of 93 votes, 58% like it
Mimes Were The Class Clowns Of Ninja School.
of 78 votes, 54% like it
We're On The Same Page. You're Just Reading A Different Novel.
of 107 votes, 64% like it
Repeating Yourself Isn't Nearly As Much Fun As Repeating Yourself
of 112 votes, 63% like it
Loose Lips Sink Ships, But Torpedoes Do It Even Faster.
of 81 votes, 47% like it
The Fruits Of Labor Are A Bit Too Sweaty For My Tastes.
of 78 votes, 53% like it
Colorblind Chameleons Always Have Trouble Blending In.
of 79 votes, 52% like it
Beauty Is Only Skin Deep, Unless You Find Skeletons Attractive.
of 98 votes, 53% like it
WARNING: This Shirt Will Get Your Attention.
of 93 votes, 47% like it
I'd Return The Favor, But I Lost The Receipt.
of 97 votes, 62% like it
I'll Never Forget That Time I Had Amnesia.
of 129 votes, 70% like it
Whatever You're Doing, It's Not As Fun As Popping Bubble Wrap.
of 104 votes, 63% like it
Punch Cards Can Be So Violent.
of 85 votes, 47% like it
I'm More Of A Gatherer, Not A Hunter.
of 82 votes, 45% like it
Waldo: A Fugitive Who Doesn't Know The Meaning Of 'Blending In'
of 81 votes, 48% like it
I Brake For Objects That Will Break Me If I Hit Them.
of 86 votes, 57% like it
Campfires: The Marshmallow's Most Dangerous Predator.
of 87 votes, 61% like it
Yawn And The World Involuntarily Yawns With You.
of 109 votes, 63% like it
The Meaning Of Life Is Just A Dictionary Away.
of 99 votes, 58% like it
I'm Dressed To Kill, But I Set My T-Shirt To Stun.
of 113 votes, 65% like it
Mental Note- Buy More Paper To Write Notes On.
of 83 votes, 54% like it
Clearly, Green Is The Only Color That Cares About The Environment
of 109 votes, 62% like it
Life Is All About Risk. And Other Fun Board Games.
of 102 votes, 64% like it
I'm Not A Complete Nerd, Just Around 82.36 Percent.
of 88 votes, 53% like it
'R' Is The Most Pirated Letter Of The Alphabet.
of 85 votes, 54% like it
When I Drop Mad Beats They Tend To Get Even Madder.
of 85 votes, 52% like it
There's No Reason To Panic. There Are Many Reasons.
of 87 votes, 56% like it
There Are Too Many Choices When You Come to A Spork In The Road.
of 84 votes, 51% like it
Using Old-Timey Words For No Reason Is A Load Of Poppycock.
of 99 votes, 65% like it
The Moon Looks Calm, But It Has A Dark Side.
of 92 votes, 55% like it
Look On The Bright Side. The Dark Side Is Boring To Stare At.
of 74 votes, 50% like it
The Moon Is Glow-In-The-Dark.
of 81 votes, 49% like it
Calculators: You Can Always Count On Them.
of 94 votes, 56% like it
The Word Is Jam. Help Me Spread The Word.
of 85 votes, 49% like it
Why Trust Fortune Tellers When Cookies Can Do The Same Job?
of 108 votes, 67% like it
Ignorance Is Bliss, But Knowing Stuff Lets You Make Fun Of Them.
of 69 votes, 49% like it
Words To Live By: Never Take Advice From A T-Shirt.
of 84 votes, 55% like it
I Only Take Flying Lessons From People In Red Capes.
of 78 votes, 53% like it
Rhetorical Questions Always Need To Have The Last Word.
of 68 votes, 41% like it
I Thought The Night Would Never End. Then It Dawned On Me.
of 95 votes, 56% like it
Sadly, Taking Flying Lessons Doesn't Give You Superhero Powers.
of 73 votes, 41% like it
My Hobbies Include Wasting Other People's Time.
of 81 votes, 56% like it
Of All The People Who Have Read This Shirt, You Read It The Best.
of 83 votes, 53% like it
It's Less Poetic When A Tree Falls In The Woods On You.
of 89 votes, 64% like it
Breaking The Ice Gets Even More Awkward If You're Standing On It.
of 83 votes, 60% like it
I'm All For Tradition, As Long As It's Different Every Time.
of 73 votes, 52% like it
Don't Just Take Life For Granted, Remember To Mock It As Well.
of 72 votes, 56% like it
All You Need Is Love, If Love Contains Food, Air and Water.
of 90 votes, 57% like it
Lullabies: The All-Natural Alternative To Sleeping Pills.
of 73 votes, 56% like it
I Apologize For No Reason, And For That I'm Sorry.
of 95 votes, 59% like it
Space Flight Has Proven The Sky Is Not The Limit.
of 64 votes, 47% like it
Ovals Are Just Circles That Have Lost A Bunch Of Weight.
of 70 votes, 56% like it
The Middle Ages Were Not Nearly As Cool As The Teen Ages.
of 65 votes, 48% like it
Lightning Bolts Think Static Electricity Is So Adorable.
of 82 votes, 49% like it
Living The Life Of A Poet Has More Prose Than Cons.
of 89 votes, 61% like it
Cardboard Boxes: Good For Storage, Better For Adventure Forts.
of 90 votes, 64% like it
There's No Such Thing As Ghosts. Just Monsters and Zombies.
of 81 votes, 43% like it
The Dark Ages Was A Golden Time For Ugly People.
of 81 votes, 46% like it
Forget Monsters, Pop Music Told Me The Rhythm Is Gonna Get Me.
of 76 votes, 43% like it
Chimneys Have A Hard Time Quitting Their Smoking Habit.
of 79 votes, 43% like it
Conformity Is Lame, Unless You Want To Be More Like Me.
of 90 votes, 56% like it
This Shirt Is Made Of 100 Percent Recycled Cliches.
of 89 votes, 54% like it
Adjectives Make Cruel & Unusual Punishment Possible.
of 90 votes, 51% like it
Rainbows Are Nature's Way Of Saying Sorry After a Storm.
of 79 votes, 47% like it
The Stars Are Aligned When The Universe Has OCD.
of 76 votes, 47% like it
When It Comes To Eating Unhealthy, I Take The Cake!
of 75 votes, 49% like it
It's Somebody's Birthday Today, Let's Celebrate!
of 72 votes, 46% like it
I Got Hit In The Head By A Punctuation Mark And Went Into A Comma
of 110 votes, 74% like it
Watch Out For Pieces Of Chewing Gum, They Travel In Packs.
of 68 votes, 57% like it
When Opportunity Knocks, It Just Wants To Sell Me Something.
of 87 votes, 72% like it
I Don’t Get Even, I Get Odder.
of 92 votes, 55% like it
Statistics Make My Life 58.6% Better!
of 88 votes, 45% like it
I’d Start A Revolution, But I Get Easily Dizzy.
of 85 votes, 51% like it
The Sun Always Wins In A Staring Contest.
of 115 votes, 62% like it
Magic Beans Grow Up So Fast Nowadays.
of 74 votes, 46% like it
I Often Contradict Myself. Wait, No I Don't.
of 102 votes, 60% like it
Your Shoulder. I'd Tap That.
of 100 votes, 60% like it
Meteorites Can Kill Several Thousand Birds With One Stone.
of 130 votes, 72% like it
You Can Count On Me, Rain Or Shine. But Not When It's Snowy.
of 102 votes, 51% like it
It's All Fun & Games Until Someone Breaks The Controller.
of 106 votes, 58% like it
Luck Favors Those Who Have Access To A Time Machine.
of 98 votes, 51% like it
I'm An Ironic Nudist.
of 125 votes, 62% like it
Vegetarian Zombies Only Eat Heads Of Lettuce.
of 119 votes, 61% like it
Wishes Are A Get-Rich-Quick Scheme Thought Up By Water Fountains.
of 97 votes, 51% like it
Abbrevs Suck IMO.
of 75 votes, 44% like it
Meteors: Nothing Makes A Better First and Last Impression.
of 87 votes, 64% like it
Pastry Chefs Make The Best Pie Charts.
of 89 votes, 47% like it
Brains: They Think They're So Much Smarter Than Us.
of 86 votes, 45% like it
My Recent Home Improvement Was Zombie-Proofing The Windows.
of 83 votes, 49% like it
Gravity: The Force Is Strong With This One.
of 113 votes, 71% like it
Daylight Savings Is The Lamest Way To Time Travel.
of 98 votes, 57% like it
Sleepwalkers Are Just One Brain-Craving Away From Being Zombies.
of 88 votes, 53% like it
I Eat Three Square Meals A Day Because Other Shapes Taste Funny.
of 102 votes, 63% like it
Attention Muggers: Person Wearing This Shirt Has $5 Or Less.
of 82 votes, 54% like it
I Assume All Bearded Men With Walking Sticks Are Wizards.
of 136 votes, 76% like it
The Only Vacation I Can Afford Is Changing Exotic Desktop Images.
of 81 votes, 54% like it
Give Me A Dollar And I'll Tell You A Great Way To Make Money.
of 117 votes, 68% like it
Racking Your Brains Makes A Lot More Space To Store Ideas.
of 88 votes, 42% like it
Bed Sheets Are Just Really Lazy Ghosts.
of 120 votes, 67% like it
I Hired An Investigator To Find Out Who Framed My Pictures.
of 90 votes, 47% like it
An Apple A Day Makes Another Worm Homeless.
of 108 votes, 63% like it
Be Nice To Computers Because Some Day They'll Be Our Overlords.
of 86 votes, 51% like it
I Gave Peace A Chance, But It Only Read Me Lame Poetry.
of 93 votes, 61% like it
Giant Green Lizards Are The #1 Cause Of Inner-City Deaths.
of 75 votes, 47% like it
Time Machines Can Make Your Fifteen Minutes Of Fame Last Forever.
of 91 votes, 64% like it
Spirits Are Ghosts That Have A Drinking Problem.
of 89 votes, 51% like it
My T-Shirt Can Magically Transform Into A Napkin.
of 105 votes, 62% like it
When I Come To A Fork In The Road, It's Time to Eat.
of 90 votes, 52% like it
In Case Of Sarcastic Emergency: 1. STOP 2. DROP 3. ROLL YOUR EYES
of 104 votes, 66% like it
(in big letters) I'M NOT ONE FOR SMALL TALK.
of 84 votes, 55% like it
I Hacked My Way Onto Santa's Nice List.
of 92 votes, 54% like it
Honesty Is The Best Policy If You Want People To Hate You.
of 101 votes, 66% like it
Dear Diary, I Couldn't Find You So I Wrote On A T-Shirt...
of 83 votes, 49% like it
(on back) You're Thinking About Me Behind My Back, Aren't You?
of 94 votes, 53% like it
I'm Not Clumsy, I Just Like Doing Spontaneous Dance Moves.
of 110 votes, 70% like it
If You Don't Have Something Nice To Say, Say It With A Smile.
of 100 votes, 64% like it
Walking A Mile In Someone Else's Shoes Is Unsanitary.
of 84 votes, 58% like it
The Circle Of Life Isn't As Fun If You're A Square.
of 90 votes, 53% like it
I Don't Like Sports But I Do Enjoy Drinking And High Fives.
of 98 votes, 58% like it
Middle Fingers Aren't Bad, That's Just Their Position In Life.
of 95 votes, 62% like it
Infinity: The Gift That Keeps On Giving.
of 103 votes, 61% like it
Never Wish Upon A Ninja Star.
of 103 votes, 58% like it
Stop Signs Before They Try To Stop You!
of 104 votes, 57% like it
Daytime Is Brought To You By A Generous Donation From The Sun.
of 101 votes, 52% like it
By The End Of His Life, Humpty Dumpty Had Become A Crackhead.
of 103 votes, 51% like it
Love Triangles Are The Sexiest Of All Geometric Shapes.
of 96 votes, 59% like it
Puppets Should Learn How To Speak For Themselves.
of 97 votes, 67% like it
Speaking In Third Person Is Like A Verbal Out-Of-Body Experience.
of 79 votes, 56% like it
On The Inside, We're All Made Of The Same Icky Stuff.
of 92 votes, 59% like it
My Mind Was Blown Away During A Freak Brainstorming Accident.
of 96 votes, 60% like it
Studies Have Proven That I Don't Like Reading Them.
of 114 votes, 74% like it
I Have The Key To Happiness, But Someone Changed The Locks.
of 96 votes, 55% like it
I Remember Back In The Day When It Was Morning.
of 141 votes, 79% like it
People Say I'm In Denial, But I Don't Agree With Them At All.
of 123 votes, 69% like it
Peace & Love Is The Best Answer. Except On Math Tests.
of 111 votes, 62% like it
It Was A Dark And Stormy Night. Story Continued On Next Shirt.
of 96 votes, 56% like it
I Exercise By Having An Active Imagination.
of 96 votes, 61% like it
Anyone Can Be A Fast Runner Depending On What's Chasing Them.
of 98 votes, 55% like it
Coin Collecting Is Only Cool When Video Game Characters Do It.
of 110 votes, 64% like it
I Want To Start A Revolution, But I Think It's Against The Rules.
of 125 votes, 65% like it
Nouns Only Want You For One Thing, Person or Place.
of 104 votes, 59% like it
10 Times Out Of 9 What I Say Makes No Sense.
of 117 votes, 58% like it
Disobedient Planes Get Grounded.
of 96 votes, 54% like it
The Television Color Bars Are Really Prison For Bad Rainbows.
of 105 votes, 51% like it
If You're Telepathic, It's The Thought That Counts.
of 116 votes, 63% like it
Safes Are Boring, I Keep My Money In A Dangerous.
of 138 votes, 63% like it
My Reality Check Recently Bounced.
of 129 votes, 67% like it
I Know Things About Stuff.
of 119 votes, 55% like it
People Who Overgeneralize Are All Idiots.
of 119 votes, 62% like it
Sci-Fi Fans Go Through Many Phasers Of Life.
of 103 votes, 59% like it
Television Likes It When You Watch.
of 111 votes, 60% like it
My Train Of Thought Was Robbed By Cowboys On Horseback.
of 124 votes, 60% like it
Hitting The Gym Only Exercises Your Knuckles.
of 106 votes, 50% like it
I Nearly Drowned Myself During My Last Brainstorm.
of 113 votes, 56% like it
The Definition Of Dictionary Just Says 'Haha. Very Funny.'
of 107 votes, 52% like it
Electrochemical Impulses Really Get On My Nerves.
of 93 votes, 55% like it
I Bet You Can't Read My Lips And This Shirt At The Same Time.
of 103 votes, 56% like it
Planets Get Clean By Taking Meteor Showers.
of 92 votes, 55% like it
You Don't Need A Cape To Save The Planet, Just Recycle.
of 93 votes, 46% like it
I'm Not Made Of Money, But My Organs Would Fetch A Decent Price.
of 109 votes, 56% like it
I Thought The Future Would Have More Beep Boop Sounds.
of 161 votes, 70% like it
I'm Betterist At Making Up Words Than You.
of 98 votes, 47% like it
You Can't Run Away From Your Problems. Use a Scooter Instead.
of 100 votes, 53% like it
Balloons Like To Get High On Nitrous Oxide.
of 89 votes, 37% like it
The Reference On This Shirt Is Too Obscure For You To Understand.
of 97 votes, 49% like it
Wearing A Monocle Only Makes One Of Your Eyes Classier.
of 135 votes, 70% like it
I'm Saving The World In My Head Right Now.
of 86 votes, 49% like it
Word Of Mouth Travels Faster Than Words From Any Other Body Part.
of 96 votes, 53% like it
I May Or May Not Be An Indecisive Person.
of 155 votes, 70% like it
My Superhero Disguise Is So Good You'll Think I'm A Normal Person
of 112 votes, 55% like it
Socialism Has No Class.
of 104 votes, 47% like it
Who Needs Drugs When You Can Stand Up Real Fast?
of 126 votes, 63% like it
Looking On The Bright Side For Too Long May Cause Blindness.
of 130 votes, 65% like it
Make War Simulation Video Games, Not War.
of 104 votes, 52% like it
I'm Your Worst Nightmare, Minus The Zombie Dragons.
of 97 votes, 43% like it
The Monkey On My Back Ate The Chip On My Shoulder.
of 124 votes, 52% like it
Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones But Bullets Puncture Organs.
of 124 votes, 60% like it
The Equal Sign Always Sums It Up Best.
of 101 votes, 45% like it
What Do Skeletons Hide In Their Closets?
of 122 votes, 53% like it
In Real Life, Cougars Will Hunt You No Matter What Age You Are.
of 110 votes, 52% like it
Make Fun, Not War.
of 90 votes, 44% like it
Comparing Apples And Oranges Really Isn't That Hard.
of 111 votes, 50% like it
Cacti Get No Love From Treehuggers.
of 116 votes, 60% like it
Conspiracy Theorists Claim That 9 8 7.
of 112 votes, 53% like it
I Blame Scapegoats For People's Lack Of Taking Responsibility.
of 95 votes, 53% like it
Selling Real Estate Is Easier Than Selling Imaginary Estate.
of 99 votes, 51% like it
If You Can Read This, You're Not Watching My Back.
of 115 votes, 41% like it
I Tried Following Murphy's Law, But Something Went Wrong.
of 120 votes, 59% like it
Time Flies When It Wears A Superhero Costume.
of 97 votes, 37% like it
If I Like Being Around People, Does That Make Me A Socialist?
of 96 votes, 34% like it
I Taught All The Chairs In My House To Sit.
of 97 votes, 38% like it
If Silence Is Golden, Is Awkward Silence Fool's Gold?
of 102 votes, 46% like it
I Always Get Sayings Wrong But That's The Way The Banana Crumbles
of 122 votes, 61% like it
The Swordfish Is Mightier And Tastier Than The Sword.
of 98 votes, 47% like it
Trains Are Easy To Hunt Down, They Leave Very Distinct Tracks.
of 105 votes, 49% like it
I'm A Fan Of Team Work, But I'd Rather Be On Team Relaxation.
of 109 votes, 46% like it
I'm Not A Stalker, I'm a Sleuth.
of 106 votes, 45% like it
Insanity Is 1% Inspiration and 99% Flying Unicorns.
of 156 votes, 63% like it
By A Show Of Hands, Who Is Entertained By Sock Puppets?
of 99 votes, 42% like it
Baby Oil Better Not Be Made Out Of What I Think It Is.
of 122 votes, 64% like it
Avalanches Are Great Exercise Motivators.
of 111 votes, 50% like it
Please Speak Up, The Devil On My Shoulder Keeps Yelling.
of 122 votes, 45% like it
Raise Both Feet If You Like To Jump!
of 111 votes, 53% like it
I Always Feel Better After Playing On The Mood Swings.
of 113 votes, 48% like it
Verbs: All The Cool Kids Are Doing Them.
of 117 votes, 49% like it
The Pen Is Writier Than The Sword.
of 129 votes, 52% like it
I've Stopped Lying Ever Since I Was Nearly Killed By A Dragon.
of 150 votes, 64% like it
Do You Know What I Hate Most About Unanswered Questions?
of 145 votes, 66% like it
Independent Films Don't Need Anyone To Watch Or Support Them.
of 114 votes, 52% like it
There's Safety In Numbers. Except During Bomb Countdowns.
of 100 votes, 44% like it
History Books Were Much Shorter In Ancient Times.
of 124 votes, 57% like it
Say What You Will About Censorship, But I Think It's *** ** ***.
of 127 votes, 62% like it
5 Out Of 5 Old People Agree: You Should Get Off Their Lawn.
of 113 votes, 51% like it
Our Cars Run On Dinosaur Ghosts.
of 112 votes, 52% like it
Ice Cream Just Tastes Better Served Out Of A Musical Truck.
of 157 votes, 73% like it
Kill People With Kindness. And If That Fails, Use Poison.
of 142 votes, 70% like it
Online Daters Believe In Love At First Site.
of 126 votes, 63% like it
I Want To Form A Negativity Club, But No One's Gonna Join Anyway.
of 148 votes, 71% like it
Unlike My Competitors, I'm Giving Away My Hugs For Free.
of 98 votes, 49% like it
What Part of the Word 'Molendinarious' Do You Not Understand?
of 94 votes, 51% like it
Deja Vu Is The Time Traveler's Version Of Jet Lag.
of 117 votes, 70% like it
I Love Life, But I'm Not Always IN Love With It.
of 98 votes, 43% like it
Someday I'll Leave A Beautiful Fossil For An Alien Race To Dig Up
of 103 votes, 49% like it
Whoever Said There's No Free Lunches Never Checked The Dumpster.
of 104 votes, 45% like it
A Lot Of My Good Friends I Only Know By Screen Names.
of 105 votes, 44% like it
Empathy Is All Well And Good, But What's In It For Me?
of 108 votes, 45% like it
Timely T-Shirts Get Old, But The Y2K Bug Is Gonna Last Forever!
of 92 votes, 40% like it
I Remember How Condescending I Was When I Was Your Age.
of 117 votes, 62% like it
I Whole-Heartedly Believe In Half-Hearted Statements.
of 97 votes, 49% like it
I Wrote Down The Best Excuse Today, But My Dog Ate It.
of 111 votes, 59% like it
A Torn Picture Is Only Worth 500 Words.
of 112 votes, 54% like it
Artificial Intelligence Will Impress Me When Robots Learn Sarcasm
of 130 votes, 68% like it
Sure, My Mom Dressed Me- But I Picked Out The Cool T-Shirt.
of 90 votes, 49% like it
Space Could Use Its Space Way More Efficiently.
of 95 votes, 42% like it
I've Had No Bright Ideas Since The Lightbulb Above My Head Broke.
of 103 votes, 45% like it
There's Nothing New Under The Sun, So I Checked Behind It.
of 102 votes, 47% like it
The World Is My Oyster, But I'm Allergic To Seafood.
of 108 votes, 47% like it
Nature Calls The 4th Of July 'Humans Attack The Sky' Day.
of 104 votes, 39% like it
I Believe In The Religion That Has The Most Holidays.
of 152 votes, 72% like it
My Favorite Viking Pop Group Is The Pillage People.
of 95 votes, 39% like it
Masochists Like To Slip Into Something Less Comfortable.
of 87 votes, 45% like it
Metaphives Are Metaphors Plus One.
of 87 votes, 41% like it
I'd Show You What I'm Made Of, But Molecules Are Really Tiny.
of 130 votes, 65% like it
If You've Got Nothing But Time On Your Hands, Wash Them Off.
of 87 votes, 44% like it
The Sound Barrier: You Break It, You Bought It!
of 110 votes, 55% like it
On The Plus Side, In Space No One Can Hear You Hiccup Either.
of 90 votes, 38% like it
Are You Entitled To That Opinion? Let Me See Your Paperwork.
of 96 votes, 46% like it
Thankfully Peacocks Don't Look Anything Like Their Name.
of 108 votes, 56% like it
Stop Animal Abuse. Adopt A Pinata.
of 159 votes, 70% like it
For Those About To Rock, We Salute You... With Paper.
of 132 votes, 51% like it
Waiter, There's A Ninja Star In My Turtle Soup!
of 124 votes, 45% like it
Side Effects Of Reading This Shirt Include Annoyance and Sarcasm.
of 114 votes, 44% like it
I Was Going To Procrastinate Today, But I'll Just Do It Tomorrow
of 128 votes, 53% like it
I'm Very Good At, Um, Ah...What's That Word, Ummm, Communicating!
of 112 votes, 36% like it
Zombies Are Just Nature's Way Of Recycling Humans.
of 152 votes, 65% like it
The Only Way To Make This More Awkward Is If You Keep Staring.
of 121 votes, 55% like it
I Was Making A Family Tree, But Lost It In A Tragic Forest Fire.
of 118 votes, 45% like it
Forget The Sixth Sense, I'm More Impressed With The Common Sense.
of 128 votes, 46% like it
It's Official: Other Languages Have Better Curse Words.
of 137 votes, 60% like it
Studies Have Shown That I Don't Like To Study.
of 129 votes, 54% like it
I Only Obey The Law Of Gravity When Cops Are Watching.
of 127 votes, 49% like it
The Speed Of Light Has Half The Calories Of The Speed Of Heavy.
of 121 votes, 47% like it
Feelings Are Way Too Sensitive.
of 116 votes, 45% like it
I Can't Stand Animal Puns And I'm Not Even Lion.
of 138 votes, 52% like it
Fiction: You Can't Make Stuff Like That Up.
of 131 votes, 55% like it
I Re-Arrange My Money So They All Face the Same Way.
of 103 votes, 44% like it
What Kind Of Fossil Fuel Did Dinosaur Cars Run On?
of 109 votes, 42% like it
My Friends Aren't Imaginary, Just Invisible And Shy.
of 145 votes, 69% like it
Winners Never Quit. Faking An Injury Looks Much Better.
of 127 votes, 62% like it
Flying Broomsticks Are The Cleanest Form Of Transportation.
of 121 votes, 51% like it
Vegetarians And Math Teachers Agree: Be Fruitful And Multiply.
of 108 votes, 48% like it
MC Raven Won't Stop Rapping At My Chamber Door.
of 109 votes, 48% like it
If Silence Is Golden, I Bet Mimes And Monks Are Loaded.
of 121 votes, 55% like it
I Wish All Wars Could Be Settled With A Dance-Off.
of 122 votes, 65% like it
Real Ice Breakers Are Not Acceptable Conversation Starters.
of 111 votes, 50% like it
Death: Still The Number One Cure For All Known Ailments.
of 114 votes, 57% like it
Works Of Fiction Have Problems With Keeping It Real.
of 115 votes, 49% like it
Dear Chairs, I'm Sorry You Always Get The Ass-End Of The Deal.
of 106 votes, 34% like it
Chameleons Won't Impress Me Until They Learn How To Change Shape.
of 108 votes, 51% like it
.ygolohcysp esrever esu I
of 133 votes, 58% like it
Life Is Tired Of You Grabbing It By The Horns.
of 106 votes, 49% like it
Just About Anything Is Greater Than Sliced Bread.
of 128 votes, 59% like it
Help Prevent Foot-In-Mouth Disease. Please Speak Responsibly.
of 107 votes, 50% like it
The Dark Ages Would Have Been More Fun With Bouncy Castles.
of 142 votes, 69% like it
Talk Is Cheap, But Words On A Shirt Are More Expensive.
of 108 votes, 44% like it
I Support Columns.
of 105 votes, 37% like it
In Candyland, People Stay Warm By Putting On A Sugar Coat.
of 106 votes, 42% like it
The Most Important Thing About Mumbling Is Mrmhmrmrmrmhm.
of 113 votes, 45% like it
If The Proof Is In The Pudding, I Ate The Proof And It Was Yummy.
of 117 votes, 56% like it
No One Stops To Smell The Venus Flytraps Anymore.
of 103 votes, 46% like it
Some Call It Skywriting, I Call It Cloud Graffiti.
of 104 votes, 50% like it
Draw Pictures Not Pistols
of 116 votes, 47% like it
Words: The Best Thing Since Grunting and Pointing.
of 129 votes, 59% like it
People Who Use Words Incorrectly Are Such Oxymorons.
of 136 votes, 64% like it
Going Insane Makes All Of Your Dreams Come True.
of 118 votes, 47% like it
If At First You Don't Succeed, Sue Someone Who Has.
of 115 votes, 51% like it
Thiiiiiiis Shirrrrrrrrt Isssssss Innnnn Sloooooooow Moootiooooon.
of 135 votes, 41% like it
When I Grow Up, I'm Getting A Passport And Moving To Candyland.
of 123 votes, 42% like it
Wormholes: Good For Both Soil Enrichment And Time Travel.
of 125 votes, 45% like it
I Pray For World Peace, But Mostly For The Sky To Rain Candy.
of 135 votes, 61% like it
4 Out Of 5 Doctors Agree They Are Tired Of Taking These Surveys.
of 132 votes, 61% like it
I Have A Bunk Bed If You Count The Monsters Sleeping Under Me.
of 110 votes, 39% like it
Ice Cream Headaches: As Delicious As They Are Painful.
of 106 votes, 39% like it
A Cow Goes 'Moo', A Dog Goes 'Woof', And A Mouse Goes 'Click'.
of 120 votes, 49% like it
Zebras Are Just Horses With Bad Tan Lines.
of 112 votes, 45% like it
What If Irony Meant The Exact Opposite Of What We Thought It Did?
of 134 votes, 61% like it
My Artwork Looks Best Taped To Refridgerator Doors.
of 124 votes, 60% like it
I Humbly Suggest That I'm Extremely Awesome.
of 128 votes, 56% like it
Rule #1 For Being In Lazy Club Is, Well, We Haven't Decided Yet.
of 103 votes, 44% like it
If Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, How Many Wrongs Does It Take?
of 123 votes, 58% like it
I Was An Air Violin Childhood Prodigy.
of 92 votes, 39% like it
Some People Sleep Their Way To The Top, I Bought A Bunk Bed.
of 104 votes, 44% like it
Not Enough People Go On Mythical Quests Anymore.
of 120 votes, 53% like it
Earthquakes: The Original Movers & Shakers.
of 111 votes, 41% like it
I'm Psychic. Or Psycho, I Forget Which Word The Voices Said To Me
of 147 votes, 63% like it
I'm Angry 'Lumber' And 'Dumber' Aren't Pronounced The Same Way.
of 103 votes, 34% like it
When History Was Younger, It Didn't Repeat Itself As Much.
of 142 votes, 68% like it
How Original Can One Be When We're All Using The Same Words?
of 101 votes, 45% like it
Legend Has It That People Used To Make Up Crazy Stories.
of 118 votes, 46% like it
I Never Had An Imaginary Friend So I Just Made One Up Instead.
of 128 votes, 54% like it
Icicles Are Winter's Way Of Trying To Murder You.
of 127 votes, 53% like it
Everybody Raise Your Hands If You Believe In Conformity!
of 119 votes, 45% like it
Bubble Wrap Will Always Be My Favorite Toy.
of 117 votes, 46% like it
WARNING: This Shirt Is A Choking Hazard If Swallowed.
of 113 votes, 39% like it
I'm Not Gaining Weight, My Inner Child Is A Little Chubby.
of 104 votes, 39% like it
I've Never Held A Dagger Before, But I'd Take A Stab At It.
of 105 votes, 43% like it
I Perform Musicals In Front Of Random Security Cameras.
of 118 votes, 50% like it
I Exercise By Running Away From Reality.
of 112 votes, 43% like it
An Eye For An Eye Makes It Hard To Tell Who's A Real Pirate.
of 125 votes, 53% like it
Zeus Excels At Lightning Rounds On Game Shows.
of 109 votes, 34% like it
Who Needs A Calculator When I Have All These Fingers And Toes?
of 127 votes, 46% like it
Stories From Galaxies Far Far Away Have Been Greatly Exaggerated
of 115 votes, 39% like it
My Heart Is Always In The Right Place- My Ribcage.
of 128 votes, 51% like it
I've Said It Before And I'll Say It Again, I Hate Repetition.
of 144 votes, 63% like it
Water: The Number One Killer Of Fires.
of 129 votes, 40% like it
Death Only Comes When You Run Out Of Quarters To Continue.
of 146 votes, 41% like it
People Say My Best Quality Is An Extreme Attention To Deetail.
of 126 votes, 40% like it
I'm Like A Love Grenade That Hits You With Shrapnels Of Awesome!
of 119 votes, 37% like it
Keeping It Real Is So Selfish, I Also Try To Give Some Real Back.
of 106 votes, 38% like it
Keyholes Are A Gateway Drug For Peeping Toms.
of 106 votes, 32% like it
This Shirt Is: a)funny b)confusing c)spicy d) all of the above
of 122 votes, 34% like it
Some Say I Don't Finish My Thoughts, But I Say That's A Cute Owl.
of 142 votes, 57% like it
The Food Pyramid Taught Me The Importance Of Eating Triangles.
of 136 votes, 51% like it
Number 2 Pencils: Making Runners-Up Feel Like They Came In First.
of 111 votes, 37% like it
I Bet You A Dollar I Can Get You To Read My Shirt.
of 122 votes, 39% like it
Sorry I Missed The Bad Excuses Meeting, I Was Stuck In Traffic.
of 115 votes, 44% like it
We'd All Be A Little Better Off If Life Had A Ten-Second Delay.
of 107 votes, 38% like it
I Majored In Non-Verbal Communication. See What I've Learned?
of 105 votes, 37% like it
I Eat My Words So Much I've Started Coating Them With Chocolate.
of 134 votes, 57% like it
If X Marks The Spot, ? Marks The Mushrooms And Fire Flowers.
of 137 votes, 40% like it
Beavers: Giving A Dam Since Birth.
of 136 votes, 51% like it
Watch Out For Octopi, They're Always Heavily Armed.
of 127 votes, 39% like it
On Second Thought, I Really Should Have Trusted My First One.
of 119 votes, 39% like it
(back) I Don't Quite Follow You. Actually, You're Following Me.
of 139 votes, 41% like it
Danger Is My Middle Name. Frighty Danger McScaredypants.
of 141 votes, 44% like it
Words: They Get People Talking.
of 130 votes, 43% like it
Videogames Lied To Me About The Adventurous Lives Of Plumbers.
of 170 votes, 65% like it
Sweating Bullets Would Be Very Useful During Wartime.
of 147 votes, 48% like it
Earthquakes Are Just Nature Moving Its Puzzle Pieces Around.
of 132 votes, 39% like it
The Voices In My Head Came Together To Form A Barbershop Quartet.
of 137 votes, 40% like it
Science: 'We Didn't Mean To Make That, But That's Way Cool Too.'
of 125 votes, 41% like it
I Don't Like To Dance, But I Do Enjoy Flailing Around.
of 127 votes, 46% like it
A Pinball Wizard Is The Nerdiest Of All Magical Beings.
of 158 votes, 47% like it
Human Cannonballs Aren't Good At Their Jobs Unless They Get Fired
of 139 votes, 44% like it
I Assume All People With Walking Sticks Are Magical Wizards.
of 150 votes, 47% like it
I Don't Speak Other Languages, I Just Know Their Curse Words.
of 131 votes, 47% like it
Clouds Are Just Rainstorms In Cute, Fluffy Disguises.
of 142 votes, 54% like it
Let's Hear It For Silence!!!!!
of 161 votes, 55% like it
I Use Stronger Language Since My Vocabulary Started Working Out.
of 134 votes, 48% like it
There's Not A Surface On Earth That Can't Be An Instant Drum Kit.
of 137 votes, 43% like it
There Are No Wrong Answers, Just Ones You Laugh Really Hard At.
of 142 votes, 54% like it
My Heart Would Make A Great DJ With All These Awesome Beats.
of 123 votes, 37% like it
If Silence Is Golden, Is Awkward Conversation At Least Silver?
of 138 votes, 49% like it
Agoraphobics Agree It's What's Inside That Really Counts.
of 158 votes, 61% like it
Zombies Wear Other People's Hearts On Their Sleeve.
of 123 votes, 42% like it
My T-Shirt Does A Fantastic Impression Of A Turtleneck Sweater.
of 125 votes, 37% like it
I'm Thinking About The Gym, So At Least I Exercised My Brain.
of 130 votes, 49% like it
I Let My Mind Wander And Now A Search Party Is Out Looking For It
of 123 votes, 47% like it
A Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword, But Only If It Squirts Poison.
of 126 votes, 39% like it
Drop Babies Not Bombs. No Wait...Don't Drop Either.
of 130 votes, 42% like it
Tractor Beams Make Farming Seem So Much Cooler.
of 119 votes, 39% like it
Exposing Yourself To New Things Might Get You Arrested.
of 121 votes, 47% like it
Drop Hints Not Bombs
of 117 votes, 39% like it
Raise Your Hand If You Like Exercise. Now The Other And Repeat.
of 116 votes, 45% like it
Can You Turn Around Please? I'm Trying To Launch A Sneak Attack.
of 120 votes, 49% like it
Going Green Is A Wonderful Thing Unless You're About To Throw Up.
of 116 votes, 39% like it
Unicorns Bleed Rainbows And Magic.
of 129 votes, 43% like it
This Shirt Hides My Scar From A Vicious Unicorn Stabbing.
of 127 votes, 43% like it
Never Go Head-To-Head With A Unicorn.
of 123 votes, 42% like it
Pie Charts: As Delicious As They Are Informative.
of 138 votes, 52% like it
Unicorns Don't Believe In YOU Either.
of 158 votes, 59% like it
Unicorns Are Just Metrosexual Rhinos.
of 143 votes, 54% like it
Geometry: Taking All The Fun Out Of The Shapes We Loved As Kids.
of 138 votes, 48% like it
A Bird In The Hand Means You're Probably Flipping Me Off.
of 127 votes, 42% like it
(on green) It's Actually Pretty Damn Easy Being This Color.
of 140 votes, 41% like it
So This Person Wearing An Awesome T-Shirt Walks Into A Bar...
of 128 votes, 35% like it
Movie Mathematics: One Million Humans Killed = One Dog Death
of 141 votes, 35% like it
The Great Outdoors Looks Better From The Window Of My Heated Room
of 127 votes, 43% like it
Cook Books Taste Surprisingly Awful.
of 142 votes, 41% like it
Mad Is Such A Strong Word, I'm More Of An Agitated Scientist.
of 165 votes, 58% like it
I Enjoy Smart Humor, Like A Scientist Tripping On A Encyclopedia.
of 129 votes, 47% like it
You Can See Right Through Me. (also written on back reversed)
of 127 votes, 48% like it
Nobody Seems To Care About All The Apathy In The World Today.
of 146 votes, 58% like it
Labyrinths Are Like Mazes, But With More Rock Stars And Puppets.
of 170 votes, 59% like it
When It Rains I Fight Back By Shooting A Squirt Gun At The Sky.
of 157 votes, 54% like it
You Seem Like The Type Of Person Who Reads People's Shirts.
of 143 votes, 43% like it
These Words Exist Only In Your Mind. I'm Not Even Wearing A Shirt
of 127 votes, 44% like it
The More Things Change, The More This Cliche Stays The Same.
of 131 votes, 49% like it
The Letter "O" Always Seems So Surprised.
of 140 votes, 42% like it
How About You Say Something Funny To MY Shirt For A Change?
of 129 votes, 40% like it
I Was Once Held In A Computer Prison But I Made A Miraculous Esc.
of 137 votes, 45% like it
Volcanoes Would Be Less Scary If They Were Filled With Hot Fudge.
of 136 votes, 41% like it
Let Your Boomerang Go. If It Comes Back, It Was Meant To Be.
of 129 votes, 42% like it
If All I Eat Are Empty Calories, Shouldn't I Be Losing Weight?
of 128 votes, 37% like it
You're Missing Some Really Awesome Facial Gestures Right Now.
of 136 votes, 45% like it
Fishnets: Good For Sexy Time AND Catching Your Dinner.
of 155 votes, 41% like it
Fantasy Sports Teams Need More Wizards and Unicorns.
of 146 votes, 39% like it
this is my shirt's inside voice (UV)AND THIS IS ITS OUTSIDE VOICE
of 145 votes, 46% like it
Artist Competitions Usually End In A Draw.
of 146 votes, 47% like it
Member Of The Rock/Paper/Scissors Non-Aggression Peace Movement
of 146 votes, 47% like it
Consider Yourself Lucky I Only Use My Powers For Good.
of 131 votes, 40% like it
Killing People With Kindness Is The Nicest Way To Murder Someone.
of 144 votes, 46% like it
Illegally Changing Lowercase Letters Is A Capital Offense.
of 144 votes, 38% like it
The Best Strategy To Win A Math Battle Is To Divide And Conquer.
of 126 votes, 44% like it
4 Out Of 5 People Agree This Joke Setup Is Very Cliche.
of 134 votes, 33% like it
The Most Amazing Thing I've Ever Seen Just Happened Behind You.
of 169 votes, 57% like it
I'm The Best At Geography On All Six Continents!
of 130 votes, 40% like it
I Had To Wrestle This Shirt Away From The Monster In My Closet.
of 134 votes, 40% like it
I Don't Know Karate, But I Can Make The Punch And Kicking Sounds.
of 141 votes, 47% like it
Dinosaurs Didn't Go Extinct, They Evolved Into Cute Plush Animals
of 149 votes, 52% like it
Don't Be Shy, Of Course You Can Have Your Picture Taken With Me!
of 133 votes, 39% like it
When I Do Something, I Do It 100 Percent. That Includes Quitting.
of 138 votes, 45% like it
Cell Phones Are NOT A Substitute For Lighters At A Concert.
of 145 votes, 52% like it
There's No Use Crying Over Tipped Cows.
of 134 votes, 44% like it
Fire Escapes Ignore The Fact That Humans Need Exits Too.
of 151 votes, 39% like it
Videogames Taught Me Mushrooms Help You Grow Up Big And Strong.
of 136 votes, 43% like it
A Cannibal's Favorite Meal Is A Breakfast Of Champions.
of 150 votes, 48% like it
My Mouth Is Where Awesome Rap Songs Go To Die.
of 151 votes, 42% like it
My Guitar Licks Taste Like Metal.
of 154 votes, 42% like it
I Like People Who Can Read, So You're Off To A Good Start!
of 164 votes, 47% like it
Civil War Reenactments Are The Laziest Form Of Time Travel.
of 174 votes, 55% like it
People Who Make Up Their Own Words Really Infuritate Me.
of 151 votes, 34% like it
Fog Is Just Clouds That Never Learned How To Fly.
of 174 votes, 54% like it
Grenades Have Only One Chance To Make A First Impression.
of 150 votes, 49% like it
I Keep Trying To Lose Weight, But It Always Manages To Find Me.
of 149 votes, 46% like it
Nightmares Are Your Brain's Revenge For Boring It During Worktime
of 156 votes, 49% like it
Where There's A Will, There's A Bunch Of Greedy Relatives.
of 186 votes, 60% like it
Escalators Move Me.
of 196 votes, 67% like it
This Tee Is Rated G And Contains Images Of A Non-Graphic Nature.
of 139 votes, 37% like it
I Have Multiple Personality Issues. No I Don't.
of 153 votes, 44% like it
Lumberjacks: The Number One Cause Of Ewok Home Foreclosures.
of 143 votes, 36% like it
Fish of the World Agree: Stay In Schools!
of 159 votes, 44% like it
I'll Try Anything Once, Even Trying Things Once Again.
of 149 votes, 41% like it
My Favorite Thing To Eat Is Food.
of 165 votes, 43% like it
Flowers Love It When You Wet Their Beds.
of 165 votes, 48% like it
If Rainbows Are So Cheerful, Why Are They Always Frowning?
of 186 votes, 54% like it
Nuclear War: Humanity's Instant Reset Button.
of 163 votes, 43% like it
My Favorite Stress Reliefs Are Meditation and Smashing Things.
of 161 votes, 48% like it
The Food Pyramid: Egypt's Most Nutritional Achievement.
of 186 votes, 52% like it
Zombies Can't Dance Because They Got No Soul.
of 195 votes, 57% like it
Riding Into The Sunset Can Give You First Degree Burns.
of 179 votes, 51% like it
Nouns Are Sick and Tired Of Being Objectified!
of 189 votes, 47% like it
I Thought The Police Sirens Were Just Trying To Cheer Me On.
of 222 votes, 55% like it
Near-Sighted People See The Glass As Half-Blurry.
of 253 votes, 51% like it
Due To Inflation, A Picture Is Now Worth Only 950 Words.
of 354 votes, 75% like it
Five Out Of Five Cannibals Agree You Are What You Eat.
of 271 votes, 59% like it
I Hate T-Shirts Almost As Much As I Love Irony.
of 292 votes, 52% like it
Question Marks Are Only For Sentences With Low Self-Confidence.
of 270 votes, 56% like it
Light Switches Turn Me On. And Off. And Then On Again.
of 246 votes, 37% like it
Humans: The Greatest Threat To Humans Since the Dawn of Humans.
of 298 votes, 62% like it
Hell: It's Actually More of a Dry Heat.
of 240 votes, 41% like it
Cartwheels Are The Most Fuel-Efficient Way To Travel.
of 235 votes, 44% like it
Astronauts Must Stay Focused Or They'll Just Stare Off Into Space
of 235 votes, 44% like it
I'm the Nigerian Prince That's Been E-Mailing You.
of 255 votes, 47% like it
(in gold and silver foil) I HATE ATTENTION SEEKERS.
of 242 votes, 50% like it
Planets Would Be Less Lonely If They Didn't Need So Much Space.
of 229 votes, 41% like it
I Think Unicorns Might Be Endangered. I Haven't Seen One in Ages.
of 259 votes, 50% like it
I Was Hoping This Shirt Would Make Me Feel LESS Socially Awkward.
of 253 votes, 43% like it
Cloning Humans is So Unoriginal.
of 261 votes, 42% like it
I Fluently Speak French, German and Other Names of Languages.
of 305 votes, 55% like it
I'm Sorry I Can't Talk Now, I Have To Go Make An Excuse.
of 278 votes, 47% like it
Global Warming is Just the Sun Trying To Give Us All Its Love.
of 318 votes, 57% like it
I Can Think Of At Least 3.14 Reasons Why Pi Is Awesome.
of 314 votes, 58% like it
Zombie Parents Find Raising Their Dead Very Difficult.
of 254 votes, 41% like it
Spoken Languages Are Just Agreed-Upon Goofy Noises.
of 270 votes, 43% like it
Just Once I'd Like To See a Suitcase Full of Money in Real Life.
of 269 votes, 49% like it
What's Another Word For "Synonym"?
of 328 votes, 60% like it
I Can't Even Remember the Last Time I Forgot Something.
of 308 votes, 55% like it
Fractions Have Made Me 1/2 The Person I Am Today.
of 276 votes, 45% like it
Even Numbers Think I'm Quite Odd.
of 287 votes, 47% like it
Spheres Are Just Elitist Circles.
of 265 votes, 46% like it
I Actually Wanted the Person Behind You To Read My Shirt.
of 332 votes, 59% like it
Multi-Colored Ghosts Always Hunt in Pacs.
of 285 votes, 46% like it
Amnesia Is the Cheapest Way To Start a New Life For Yourself.
of 317 votes, 59% like it
Science: Taking All the Fun Out of Guessing Since 1600.
of 395 votes, 70% like it
Hurricanes: The Hotel-Trashing Rock Star Of Weather.
of 256 votes, 41% like it
WANTED: Death Metal Band in Need of Harpist & Ukelele Player.
of 283 votes, 44% like it
Failure Is Not An Option. It Comes Standard With Most Humans.
of 340 votes, 62% like it
I Waste Food So I Can Recycle the Can It Was In.
of 278 votes, 39% like it
Two Things You Should Know About Me: I'm Not Good At Counting.
of 363 votes, 57% like it
I'm Not Over-Anxious, You're Just Under-Worried.
of 310 votes, 45% like it
Today's Forecast Calls For a 100 Percent Chance of Reading.
of 294 votes, 39% like it
The Meaning of Life Was On the Shirt I Wore Yesterday.
of 358 votes, 58% like it
I'd Say I'm Lazy, But I'd Rather Have My Shirt Do the Work For Me
of 301 votes, 42% like it
Pianos Always Sound Best When Crushing Cartoon Characters.
of 294 votes, 39% like it
I Only Solve Mazes That Have David Bowie In Them.
of 329 votes, 50% like it
Trap Doors Would Instantly Make Any Sport More Exciting.
of 406 votes, 64% like it
Due To Budget Cuts, Infinity Is Worth One Less Than It Used To.
of 319 votes, 43% like it
The First Rule of Anarchy: You Just Screwed Up Being an Anarchist
of 375 votes, 54% like it
Making a Bad Analogy is Like Watching Stick Figures Breakdance.
of 356 votes, 48% like it
Dogs Wearing Diamonds Are Everyone's Best Friend.
of 410 votes, 59% like it
Coloring Outside the Lines: Banned For Illegally Crossing Borders
of 327 votes, 43% like it
I've Been a Time Traveler Since Before I Was Born.
of 356 votes, 50% like it
Hangman Is a Promoter of Vigilante Grammatical Violence.
of 359 votes, 51% like it
Ask Me About My Hatred For Answering Questions.
of 357 votes, 46% like it
Standing Out in a Crowd is Easier Once Everyone Else is Seated.
of 336 votes, 49% like it
Greater Than > Less Than
of 333 votes, 35% like it
I'm Much More Confident After Having My Nervous System Removed.
of 331 votes, 39% like it
Doing My Part To Combat Global Warming By Making Earth Cooler.
of 343 votes, 45% like it
Heroes Are Too Busy Playing Guitar To Save Lives Nowadays.
of 462 votes, 65% like it
I Can Walk on Water. Well, Others Call It Ice Skating.
of 400 votes, 47% like it
I Can't Dance, But I'm Really Good At Flailing Around.
of 455 votes, 57% like it
Sometimes I Don't Even Get My Own Jokes Until Days Later.
of 421 votes, 48% like it
If You Must Throw Your Life Away, Please Recycle It.
of 454 votes, 57% like it
Drinking Coffee Is Not My Cup of Tea.
of 435 votes, 50% like it
I Know the Final Digit of Pi.
of 501 votes, 56% like it
Curiosity Museums Are Like Kitten Death Traps.
of 406 votes, 43% like it
I'm Currently Modeling My Parent's Genes.
of 415 votes, 42% like it
(front) Anagrams Are Awesome! (back) Arrows Ease, Sane Magma!
of 403 votes, 39% like it
I'd Take a Leap of Faith, But the Hurdles of Logic Are Too High!
of 387 votes, 40% like it
Forget Past & Future, I Like The Ghost of Christmas Presents.
of 409 votes, 36% like it
Plagiarists Are Just Doing Their Part to Recycle Old Ideas.
of 411 votes, 45% like it
I Bet I Can Get You To Stare At My Chest For Three Seconds.
of 430 votes, 44% like it
Exclamation Points Make Every Sentence Have a Happy Ending!
of 450 votes, 53% like it
The Universe Constantly Expanding Explains My Weight Gain.
of 393 votes, 33% like it
Live Every Day Like You Died the Day Before.
of 412 votes, 38% like it
(in glow ink) I'm Glow-in-the-Dork.
of 456 votes, 42% like it
In An Alternate Dimension, I'm Reading Your Shirt Right Now.
of 432 votes, 45% like it
Global Warming is Really the Titanic Getting Revenge on Icebergs.
of 515 votes, 56% like it
I Fight Crime By Being So Broke That Nobody Wants to Mug Me.
of 451 votes, 44% like it
I'm No Artist, But I'm Very Good at Drawing a Blank.
of 442 votes, 36% like it
Land: It's Like the Ocean Floor, But Less Watered-Down.
of 437 votes, 40% like it
The Internet Was Closed So I Thought I'd Come Outside Today.
of 567 votes, 64% like it
You Look Exactly Like I Pictured You From My Binoculars.
of 481 votes, 51% like it
Ten Foot Poles Don't Like Touching Gross Stuff Either.
of 644 votes, 72% like it
A.A.A.A.A. (Artists Against Abhorent Alliteration Assocation)
of 464 votes, 35% like it
If You Can Read This, I'm Not a Very Good Ninja.
of 665 votes, 63% like it
I Used To Wear Suspenders, But I'm Overall That Now.
of 493 votes, 39% like it
'People Shall Finally Remember My Name Forever' -Anonymous
of 624 votes, 60% like it
I Lift Huge Dictionaries To Give Myself More Definition.
of 560 votes, 56% like it
(for babies): I'm Having a Party Over at My Crib Tonight.
of 490 votes, 44% like it
Turning a Frown Upside Down Would Seriously Damage Your Lips.
of 489 votes, 39% like it
Street Beggars Do Not Fear Change.
of 526 votes, 45% like it
Scientology: The Religion With the Best Laser Battles.
of 568 votes, 53% like it
I Really Hate Reverse Psychology. Or Do I?
of 721 votes, 66% like it
Every Year, 500 People Drown Doing the Wave At Sporting Events.
of 535 votes, 41% like it
Thankfully I Lost That Mob of Screaming Fans.
of 516 votes, 40% like it
Rise Above Your Enemies. Then Throw Things Down On Their Heads.
of 579 votes, 51% like it
Did a Lightbulb Appear Over Edison's Head When He Invented It?
of 584 votes, 48% like it
Crime Doesn't Pay. It Just Takes Without Asking.
of 570 votes, 49% like it
Conservatives Find the Ninja Turtles To Be Too Radical.
of 584 votes, 45% like it
Swedes Don't Have Strange Names, They Were Just Bjorn That Way.
of 693 votes, 52% like it
The Meaning of Life is in Every Dictionary. What's the Confusion?
of 631 votes, 43% like it
Children Are Not the Future, Because By Then They'll Be Adults.
of 667 votes, 53% like it
If You Can Read This, My Invisibility Cloak Isn't Doing Its Job.
of 732 votes, 58% like it
In Theory, I'm a Brilliant Theoretical Scientist.
of 591 votes, 42% like it
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? Oh, These Words. Carry On.
of 640 votes, 38% like it
Looney Toons Taught Me You Can Run on Air Until You Look Down.
of 719 votes, 56% like it
I Know I'm A Stranger, But I'm a Really Cool Stranger.
of 701 votes, 48% like it
Be a Non-Conformist. Everybody's Doin' It!
of 694 votes, 44% like it
That Reminds Me of a Boring Story I Take Forever To Tell.
of 892 votes, 66% like it
The Art of Conversation is, Like, Kinda Dead and Stuff.
of 734 votes, 56% like it
Complaining Loudly is Much More Fun Than Suffering in Silence.
of 645 votes, 46% like it
Santaclaustrophobia: The Fear of Jolly Fat Men in Tight Spaces.
of 605 votes, 34% like it
Jehovah's Witnesses Do Not Tell Each Other Knock-Knock Jokes.
of 648 votes, 35% like it
I Hear There's an 80% Chance of Small Talk About the Weather.
of 637 votes, 41% like it
My Love For Oxymorons is Bittersweet.
of 771 votes, 57% like it
I Listen To Bands That Don't Even Exist Yet.
of 892 votes, 66% like it
Screenwriters Are Always Plotting Something.
of 706 votes, 44% like it
Almost Everyone Who Insults Your Mom Doesn't Know Her. Relax.
of 745 votes, 48% like it
The Future Isn't What It Used To Be.
of 929 votes, 69% like it
Thinking Outside the Box is Hard When You're Trapped in a Cubicle
of 675 votes, 43% like it
Math Nerds Rarely Get Hurt Because There's Safety in Numbers.
of 662 votes, 40% like it
Nerds Dance To the Beat of Algorithms.
of 637 votes, 33% like it
Identity Theft is the Sincerest Form of Flattery
of 683 votes, 43% like it
When Fantasy & Nightmares Collide, Zombie Unicorns Are Born
of 707 votes, 43% like it
Mimes, Ninjas and Cholesterol: The Silent Killers
of 919 votes, 66% like it
A Good Friend Is Someone Who Eats All the Black Jellybeans.
of 750 votes, 47% like it
The Thesaurus Was the Most Meaning Full of All Dinosaurs
of 757 votes, 42% like it
An Innocent Game of Tic-Tac-Toe Sometimes Ends in XXX
of 741 votes, 39% like it
You Can't Spell "SARCASM" Without "LETTERS"
of 830 votes, 52% like it
Everything Was So Much Cooler Back In The Ice Age.
of 767 votes, 45% like it
I Listen to Christian Death Metal Just to Confuse the Devil
of 818 votes, 50% like it
(on back) If This is Getting Easier to Read, I Am Moonwalking
of 822 votes, 51% like it
I've Tried to Cut Down on My Exaggerating a Million Times!
of 808 votes, 38% like it
I Know My Left and Right Ventricles By Heart.
of 796 votes, 38% like it
Today, I Think I'll Turn My Life into a Five-Part Musical.
of 845 votes, 36% like it
Straight Tetris Piece, You Complete Me.
of 877 votes, 46% like it
Leap Years: Proof That Science Sometimes Cheats
of 969 votes, 57% like it
Penguins in Our Living Rooms: The One Upside to Global Warming
of 828 votes, 38% like it
Knowing is Half the Battle. The Other Half is Killing People.
of 959 votes, 47% like it
I Don't Know What to Think of Indecisive People
of 941 votes, 48% like it
Forget Terrorists, Why Haven't We Captured Carmen Sandiego Yet?
of 1302 votes, 70% like it
I Invented a Time Machine, But Only Use It To Piss Off Historians
of 866 votes, 38% like it
I Sneak My Inner Child Into "R" Rated Movies
of 927 votes, 38% like it
Sometimes I Wish I Could Shoot Turtle Shells Out of my Car
of 894 votes, 37% like it
My Life is Loosely Based on a True Story.
of 944 votes, 47% like it
Chess is Checkers Made Unnecessarily Hard
of 946 votes, 46% like it
Slogans that have been deleted or that have been dropped from the contest
!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm In An Exclamatory Mood Today !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
of 41 votes, 24% like it
"Don't Quote Me on This!" - Me
of 45 votes, 22% like it
"Excuse Me While I Slip Onto Someone More Comfortable."
of 44 votes, 16% like it
"Hey Night, You Really Need to Lighten Up." -The Sun
of 51 votes, 25% like it
"So A Joke Walks Into A Bar..."
of 41 votes, 27% like it
"What if We ARE in the Matrix!?!" Said the Stoned Teen
of 36 votes, 11% like it
"X" Marks the Wrong Test Answer.
of 46 votes, 17% like it
'For A Limited Time' on TV Really Means 'Until the End of Time'.
of 44 votes, 9% like it
'I Have The Best Quote Ever On My T-Shirt.' -Me
of 21 votes, 14% like it
'I' 'Survived' 'the' 'Apostrophe' 'Catastrophe.'
of 49 votes, 24% like it
'Only the Good Die Young' Is Far From the Truth in Videogames.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
'The Person Wearing Me Is Really Awesome.' - T-Shirt
of 29 votes, 28% like it
'Thunder And Lightning Is Very Very Frightening.' -Galileo
of 18 votes, 28% like it
'Wow, That Shirt Can Read My Mind!' I Though To Myself...
of 51 votes, 22% like it
(baby) Of Course I Cry. I See What's Up People's Noses All Day.
of 35 votes, 9% like it
(back) Why Do I Get The Feeling My Shirt’s On Backwards?
of 63 votes, 29% like it
(For Babies) I Saw It With My Own Eyes: My Daddy is Santa Claus!
of 4 votes, 25% like it
(For Babies) Is My Hair Gonna Grow, Or Am I Already Going Bald?
of 31 votes, 23% like it
(For Babies) Why Are Adults More Amused By Cartoons Than I Am?
of 29 votes, 14% like it
(front) Should Be on the Back. (back) Should Be on the Front.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
(Front) +3 Magic Armor ; (Back) -52 Popularity Magnet
of 42 votes, 10% like it
(front) It Was The Chicken. (back) It Was The Egg.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
(front) My Good Cop Profile / (back) My Bad Cop Profile
of 38 votes, 11% like it
(glow ink) Radiation Makes My Heart Feel All Aglow.
of 16 votes, 31% like it
(glow) This Sentence Looks Much Cooler At Night.
of 31 votes, 35% like it
(grammar junkies and astronomers love looking at solar ellipses)
of 20 votes, 20% like it
(In An MPAA box) THIS LIFE IS NOT YET RATED.
of 44 votes, 9% like it
(in big type) ROAR! (in small type) did my t-shirt scare you?
of 27 votes, 26% like it
(in big type) WORD. (in small) and here's a few more words too.
of 23 votes, 4% like it
(in Braille w/english translation below) Please Don't Touch!
of 45 votes, 22% like it
(in cut-out-letter typeface) I LOVE WRITING RANSOM NOTES
of 38 votes, 18% like it
(in gold foil) Shiny Things Distract Me Too!
of 50 votes, 30% like it
(in gold print): I HATE ATTENTION SEEKERS!!!
of 33 votes, 15% like it
(in tiny writing) bigger is better.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
(like a store sign) My Mind: Yes, We're Open!
of 11 votes, 9% like it
(Note On Back of Shirt): Gone On Banana Pilgrimage / -Monkey
of 33 votes, 9% like it
(numbers ALL over the shirt) I'm Told There's Safety In Numbers.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
(on a crazy shirt color) MY SHIRT'S VOLUME IS STUCK ON 'LOUD'.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
(on a red shirt) This Shirt is Really Yellow in Disguise.
of 101 votes, 9% like it
(on a road sign) FINGER CROSSING
of 32 votes, 13% like it
(on a slant) Do You Ever Get A Sinking Feeling?
of 29 votes, 24% like it
(on a wifebeater) This Shirt In No Way Supports Spousal Abuse.
of 79 votes, 25% like it
(on back) Backstabbers, Please Take Your Knives Elsewhere!
of 115 votes, 50% like it
(on back) I'm Not A Fan Of Backstabbers.
of 47 votes, 23% like it
(on front) Sometimes My Reactions Are a Bit... (on back) Delayed.
of 48 votes, 21% like it
(on green) Wearing This Color is Actually Pretty Damned Easy.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
(on red) Boy, Is My Face and Shirt Read.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
(on red) I'm Extremely Well-Red.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
(on red) If You See Me Running, A Bull Is Probably Behind Me.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
(on red) This Is The Shirt I Wear To Annoy Bulls.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
(on yellow) This is My Camouflage To Blend in With Yellow Snow.
of 30 votes, 7% like it
(out-of-focus) I'm So Glad I Have 20/20 Eyesight.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
(reversed) I Love Chasing Ambulances.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
(road sign) CAUTION: Falling Stars For The Next 25,000 Miles.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
(this is my indoor voice) AND THIS IS MY OUTDOOR VOICE
of 63 votes, 33% like it
(this is my indoor voice) AND THIS IS MY OUTDOOR VOICE <--(In
of 1 votes, 0% like it
(tiny writing on shirt) so this is what you look like squinting.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
(upside-down) I'm A Hand-Stand Enthusiast.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
(w/a drawing of eyeglasses) Does My Slogan Seem More Intelligent?
of 33 votes, 12% like it
(with a paint brush and splashes) Who Arted?
of 33 votes, 24% like it
(WITH GLOSSY INK) Shiny Stuff Distracts Me Too.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
(Written In a Circle) Who Says Nothing Lasts Forever?
of 7 votes, 14% like it
*Grammatical Danger Seekers Love To Take AsteRISKS.
of 37 votes, 35% like it
*obscure pop culture reference only myself and five others get*
of 26 votes, 19% like it
+H!$ $H!R+ !$ M@/) $YMB0/_ ! <
of 48 votes, 6% like it
100 People Were Surveyed and the #1 Answer Was "You".
of 47 votes, 13% like it
18 Out of 23 People Agree That This is a Strange Number to Sample
of 44 votes, 25% like it
2 Things About Me: I'm the Best Thing Ever & Incredibly Humbl
of 2 votes, 0% like it
2 Things About Me: I'm the Best Thing Ever and Incredibly Humble.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
2nd Grade: A Golden Age For the "Rubber/Glue" Comeback
of 35 votes, 14% like it
4 of 5 Insane Doctors Regularly Prescribe The Silent Treatment.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
4 Out of 5 Doctors Agree That Doctors Agreeing Means Nothing
of 48 votes, 17% like it
4 Out of 5 Doctors Agree That You Do Not Exist.
of 53 votes, 23% like it
4 Out of 5 People Agree That the Most Popular Answer Is Right.
of 47 votes, 30% like it
4 Out of 5 People Prefer Actual Cake to Urinal Cakes.
of 37 votes, 24% like it
5 Out of 5 Dead People Agree That Silence is Golden.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
5 Out Of 5 People Agree They Are Dumb/Don't Listen To Questions.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
5 Out of 5 Zombies Agree: BRAIIIIIIINS!!!!
of 34 votes, 18% like it
8-Bit Gorillas Should Not Be In Charge Of Oil Companies.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
90% of the Time I'm Right; 20% of the Time I'm Just Being Ironic.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
A Book’s Mood Can Be So Hard To Read.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
A Can Play Two Double-Guitars At Once.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
A Chainsaw Beats Rocks, Paper, Scissors.
of 312 votes, 29% like it
A Chemistree Is Hard To Plant Because Of Its Square Roots.
of 29 votes, 31% like it
A Deer Caught In Headlights Feels A Lot Like This.
of 31 votes, 23% like it
A Dollar Coin is Money That Hasn't Yet Evolved.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
A Family Of Skeletons Keep All Their Clothes In My Closet.
of 32 votes, 31% like it
A Fear Of Flying Is Odd Because I Wasn't Aware Humans Could Fly.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
A Fortune Cookie Told Me I'd Change The World One Day. In Bed.
of 42 votes, 36% like it
A Friend of My Cousin's Sister Created All the Urban Legends
of 46 votes, 24% like it
A Giant Banana Peel Caused The Rise And Fall Of The Roman Empire.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
A Hitman Comedian Slays His Audience Every Night
of 39 votes, 13% like it
A Homosapien Is Just a Link on the Chain Towards Floating Brains
of 46 votes, 11% like it
A Key Grip's Real Job is Murdering People For the Director.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
A Lawyer's Favorite Amusement Park Ride Is 'The Loophole'.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
A Leap Of Faith Is Easier To Land If You Plan It All Out First.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
A Librarian Once Gave Me A Speed Reading Ticket.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
A Lifetime of Wrongs Don't Make a Last Rite.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
A Magician's Best Trick Is Making Their Coolness Disappear.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
A Mirror Is Never the Same After Its First Break-Up.
of 37 votes, 27% like it
A Mouse Is Easier To Catch When It's Attached To Your Computer.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
A Ninja's Imaginary Friend Is Easier To Spot Than The Ninja.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
A Once-in-a-Lifetime Miracle Just Happened Behind You.
of 212 votes, 32% like it
A Penny Saved Is Another Penny To Be Lost In The Couch Cushion.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
A Person Who Can Do Almost Everything Can Actually Do Nothing.
of 37 votes, 16% like it
A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Of These Things.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words, A Frame Only An Ellipses.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
A Picture Is Worth More But Not As Cool As This Shirt.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
A Pinky Swear Is Still Considered Cursing.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
A Rap Star's Part-Time Job is Throwing Money At Cameras.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
A RONDAM T-SRIHT PORGARM CMAE UP WTIH TIHS SLOAGN.
of 42 votes, 5% like it
A Rose By Any Other Name Is A Different Flower.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
A Sandwich's Circulatory System Runs On Peanut Butter and Jelly.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
A Satanist's Worse Fear is Going to Heaven.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
A Smiling Flamethrower is Not a Good Example of Friendly Fire.
of 41 votes, 10% like it
A Space Shuttle Hot Iron Would Easily Fix A Wrinkle In Time.
of 38 votes, 13% like it
A Store's Penny Tray Can Buy You A Lifetime Supply Of Thoughts.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
A Ton of Falling Bricks Are Really Good at Flattery.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
A Vampire's Least Favorite Food Is Stake.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
A Vomitorium is NOT What It Sounds Like.
of 44 votes, 5% like it
A Vulcan Serial Killer is Psycho Logical.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
A Waffle Iron Makes Your Shirt All Sticky.
of 41 votes, 20% like it
A Wrinkle In Time Caused The Cosmos To Get A Face-Lift.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
A Wrinkle in Time Needs to Be Ironed Properly.
of 38 votes, 34% like it
ABRACADABRA!: The Ultimate Curse Word.
of 31 votes, 13% like it
Achieving Immortality Is A Cause Worth Dying For
of 106 votes, 17% like it
ACHIEVING IMMORTALITY: Finally, A Cause Worth Dying For.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
Acid Rain Proves That The Sky Is Trying To Get You High.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Acrobats Do Cartwheels in Their Graves Instead of Spinning.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
Act 1: U Read Shirt Act 2: U Are Confused Act 3: U Get the Joke!
of 27 votes, 15% like it
Action Movies Are In Need Of Some Hugs & A Poetry Reading.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Action Movies Have Explosions, Thrillers Have Dancing Zombies.
of 36 votes, 36% like it
Action Movies Speak Louder Than Critic's Blurbs.
of 45 votes, 9% like it
Actions Speak Louder Than Words Only To Insane People.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
Actually, Swan Songs Are Usually Loud and Honky.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
ADD. It's as Easy as One, Two, Trees.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Addition Signs Are Really Two Lines Gettin' It On.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Adjectives Are Quite Wonderful, Delightful, Fantastic.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Adjusted For Inflation, I'm Actually One In A Trillion.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Admiring Rainbows Doesn't Neccassarily Make You A Gay Leprechaun.
of 151 votes, 38% like it
Admit It, You Were Hoping This Shirt Was About You, Weren't You?
of 34 votes, 18% like it
Adorable, Fluffy Kittens Wanted For Useless & Painful Experiments
of 66 votes, 21% like it
Adventurous Musicians Love to Bar Hop.
of 41 votes, 7% like it
Adverbs Are Astronomically, Unimaginably, Fantastically Cool.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
After Building a Middle School, Some Assemblies Are Required.
of 48 votes, 25% like it
After Exercising, I Can Open Up My Own Sweat Shop.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
After Much Soul Searching, I Hired a Detective Agency To Find It.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
After Much Soul Searching, I Remembered It Was Under the Car Seat
of 47 votes, 36% like it
After Reading This, Whatever I Say Has GOT To Be More Clever.
of 46 votes, 13% like it
After Reading This, Your Eyes Will Self-Destruct In 3,2,1...
of 32 votes, 13% like it
against all odds, my heart remains as open as a child's eyes.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Agoraphobics Tell The Best Inside Jokes.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Air Ducts are Quite Good at Venting Their Frustrations
of 39 votes, 10% like it
Air Guitar Is For Amateurs, I Play Air Orchestra.
of 32 votes, 34% like it
Air Has a Monopoly on the Entire Breathing Marketplace.
of 38 votes, 26% like it
Air Pollution Is Really Us Giving the Earth a Sinus Infection.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
Aliens Are Always Looking Down On Earthlings.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Aliens Are So Xenophobic.
of 51 votes, 14% like it
Aliens Can Moonwalk Way Better Than Any Human.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Aliens Eat Their Dinners on Saucers
of 88 votes, 14% like it
All A Volcano Needs Is A Hot Spa Treatment To Settle Down.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
All Alarm Clocks Should Be Murdered.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
All Atlantis Needed Was a Really Good Plumber
of 202 votes, 34% like it
All Good Things Must Come To A Fork In The Road.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
All I Got From the Boston Tee Party Was This Lousy Shirt.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
All I Hear Are Charlie Brown's Trombone Parents When You Talk
of 28 votes, 4% like it
All It Takes Is One Power Pellet To Rid A Haunted House Of Ghosts
of 17 votes, 12% like it
All My Favorite Space Sports Are Played On Asteroid Fields.
of 41 votes, 22% like it
All My Favorite Videogame Plumbers Travel At Warp Speed.
of 27 votes, 41% like it
All Of The Funniest T-Shirts Weren't On Sale.
of 19 votes, 37% like it
All Stereotypes Have Stupid Looking Letters
of 52 votes, 6% like it
All That Glitters Isn't Gold. It Might Be A Vampire.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
All the People Who Speak in Absolutes Make Me Sick.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
All the Personalities In My Head Use Their Inside Voices
of 36 votes, 19% like it
All The World's A Stage, But I Have Terrible Stage Fright.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
All This Pointless Violence in Life Makes Me Wanna Break Things.
of 42 votes, 17% like it
All Those Stolen Glances At Me Could Wind You Up in the Slammer.
of 48 votes, 15% like it
All Traffic Lights Should Go Green.
of 54 votes, 19% like it
All You Need Is Love, If Love Provides You With Air, Food & W
of 2 votes, 50% like it
Alternative Energy Sources Are Grungy And Wear Too Much Flannel.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
Always Eat Your Vegetables, But Never Eat A Mushroom Cloud.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Always Look Both Ways At The Same Time When Crossing The Street.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Always Question Advice You Read Off Of T-Shirts.
of 32 votes, 9% like it
Always Remember To Pace Yourself, Except During A Duel.
of 68 votes, 24% like it
Always Trust Ur Instincts, Unless They Tell You To Punch a Zebra.
of 85 votes, 34% like it
Always Trust Your Instincts, Unless They Tell U To Punch a Zebra
of 123 votes, 16% like it
Am I Going Insane, Or is That Just a Bunch of Crazy Talk?
of 54 votes, 15% like it
Am I the ONLY One Still Using Friendster?!?!?!
of 21 votes, 0% like it
Am I the ONLY One Still Using Kazaa?!?!?!?
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Ambitious Career Pigeons Sometimes Whack Into The Glass Ceiling.
of 50 votes, 18% like it
Americans and Mexicans Agree: 'No' Means 'No'!
of 39 votes, 21% like it
An Air Gun Is The Best Way To Hunt Dust Bunnies.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
An Apple a Day Keeps Adam and Eve in Eternal Sin.
of 42 votes, 29% like it
An Artichoke Warns You Right In Its Name Not To Eat It.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
An Asteroid Belt Makes A Fashionable Planetary Accessory.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
An Avalanche is Really Mountain Dandruff
of 38 votes, 13% like it
An Eye For An Eye Isn't So Bad If You're Into Eyepatch Fashion.
of 36 votes, 39% like it
Ancient Rome is Totally Ruined.
of 44 votes, 20% like it
And that's how fireworks are made.
of 30 votes, 7% like it
Anecdote Me.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Angel/Devil Couples Have Extremely Long-Distance Relationships.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
Angels Not Old Enough For the Real Thing Play Harp Hero.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
Angry Sentences Make Cross Words.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
Annoyed at the hardcore penetration of sexual innuendo on shirts
of 26 votes, 8% like it
Anti-Pasta Salads Are Biased Against Rigatoni.
of 53 votes, 9% like it
Any Car Can Be a Compact If You Hit Enough Trees.
of 48 votes, 33% like it
Any Minefields Are Now Considered Yourfields.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
Anyone Who Dares Read This Shirt Shall Die! Well, Eventually.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Apathetic People, Wave Ur Hands in the Air Like U Just Don't Care
of 46 votes, 20% like it
Apparently People Used To Sing In Barber Shops More Than Cut Hair
of 24 votes, 25% like it
Apparently, Giant Red Drink Pitchers Really Hate Brick Walls.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Apple Trees Are Really High-Rise Worm Condominiums.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Archaeologists Have Lots Of Bones To Pick.
of 31 votes, 23% like it
Architects Construct Ideas; Philosophers Deconstruct Ideas.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
Are "Fun Size" Candy Portions Trying To Be Ironic?
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Are the Men With Nets From the Booby Hatch Gone Yet?
of 25 votes, 4% like it
Are There Fire Escapes On The Stairway To Heaven?
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Are We Too Dependant On Technology? Click Your Mouse Once For Yes
of 26 votes, 27% like it
Are You Hearing Voices In Your Head While Reading This?
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Are You The Driver Or Gunner In The Tank Of Life?
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Aren't Rhetorical Questions Awesome?
of 50 votes, 12% like it
Arm Bands Never Break a Sweat While They Rock Out.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Arrows Are So Pushy, Always Telling You Which Way To Go.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
Arrows On One Way Signs Aren't The Boss Of Me.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Arrows Should Know By Now It's Not Polite to Point.
of 31 votes, 35% like it
Arrows Should Know It's Not Polite to Point.
of 46 votes, 52% like it
Art is the Alternative Energy Power Source I Thrive On.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
Art Museums Are Worth A Million Words.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Articles Of Clothing Aren't Very Fun To Read.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Artists Are Always Broke From Overdrawing Their Bank Accounts.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
Artists Are So Broke Because Their Bank Accounts Are Overdrawn.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
Artists Build Their Homes Out of Construction Paper.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
As Opposed to Men, the Earth Gets Bigger the Colder it Becomes.
of 41 votes, 17% like it
As Time Has Shown Us, Flava Flav Was Obviously the Talented One.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
Ask Me About My Love For Answering Questions
of 42 votes, 24% like it
Ask Me About My Love Of Talking.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
Ask Me For Directions to the Secret Warp Door.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
Aspiring Clergymen Who Climb Up the Ranks Wear Cross-Trainers.
of 34 votes, 15% like it
Aspiring Priests Like to Jog in Cross-Trainers
of 53 votes, 19% like it
Asterisks Are So Motherf**king Awesome!
of 66 votes, 33% like it
Astronauts Are Constantly Breaking the Law of Gravity.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Astronauts Are Only In It For the Free Parachute Ride.
of 53 votes, 32% like it
Astronauts Tend To Need More Space Than The Rest Of Us.
of 25 votes, 36% like it
Astronauts Would Hate It If Their Shuttle Was A Secret Missile.
of 31 votes, 32% like it
Astronomers Are Only Watching Stars Undress From Their Telescopes
of 46 votes, 20% like it
Astronomers Are the Peeping Toms of the Galaxy
of 37 votes, 24% like it
At Least Look Me In the Eye When You're Staring At Me.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
At Least Look Me in the Eye While You're Reading My Shirt.
of 45 votes, 24% like it
At Least My Emotional Baggage Has Really Cute Love Handles.
of 38 votes, 34% like it
At Least Pollution Turns Our Water Supplies Pretty Colors.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
At This Stage of My Life, I'm Only a Mildly Perturbed Scientist.
of 44 votes, 30% like it
At Times, My Grandfather Clock Forgets Where To Put His Hands.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
At Times, My Grandfather Clock Forgets Where To Put Its Hands.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
Atari E.T. Record Holder For Most Time Spent Stuck in a Hole
of 24 votes, 4% like it
Athlete's Foot Is Not As Bad As Missle Toe.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
Athlete's Foot Is Not Nearly As Painful As Missle Toe.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
Atoms Split When Their Relationships Are Going Nowhere.
of 41 votes, 37% like it
Avian Is The Word.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Awesome Chase Sequence Needed For a Future Film About My Life
of 145 votes, 17% like it
Babble-On Was the Ancient City of Talk Show Hosts.
of 38 votes, 24% like it
Babies: Give Them a Little Time, and They'll Grow on You.
of 50 votes, 24% like it
Baby Astronauts Sometimes Need Boosters For Their Rocket Seats.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Baby Birds Looking Through Windows from Treetops Are Peeping.
of 34 votes, 6% like it
Baby Cameras Love to Play With Dollies.
of 40 votes, 5% like it
Baby Talk is a Universal Language.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
Back In My Day We Only Had T-Shirts With Words On Them.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Back in My Day, Slogans Were Only Made For Billboards!
of 29 votes, 21% like it
Back In My Day, Televisions Were Square And We Were Fine With It.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
Badminton Pros Love To Skillfully Finesse Their Shuttlecock
of 39 votes, 13% like it
Baked Alaska Is A Delicious Global Warming Dinner Treat.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
Baking Soda Only Comes In One Flavor: Disgusting.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Balloons Don't Like Listening To Pop Music.
of 26 votes, 38% like it
Balloons Like To Get High On Helium.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
Ban Leprechaun Poaching. Rainbows Are Endangered!
of 8 votes, 13% like it
Ban Words On Shirts! Also, More Irony On Tees Please!
of 24 votes, 21% like it
Banding Together & Attacking Humans is For 'The Birds'.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
Banks Are Such Loaners.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
Banks With Only One Branch Are Such Loaners.
of 46 votes, 20% like it
Bartender, The Philosophy Major's Glass Is Half Empty, Fill It Up
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Baseball Diamonds Are Really Hard To Wear On Your Finger.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Bathrooms Celebrate Birthdays With Urinal Cakes.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Be A Non-Conformist. Don't Listen to What Simon Says.
of 37 votes, 22% like it
Be a Widescreen Personality In a Pan-And-Scan World.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Be Careful of Deer Droppings From the Sky During Christmas Time.
of 54 votes, 26% like it
Be Kind & Please Rewind Your DVDs.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Be Like a Meteor Shower and Make Daily Impacts.
of 48 votes, 13% like it
Be The First One To Yawn To Be A Leader, Not A Follower.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Bear Traps Are For Capturing Real Bears, I Use Picnic Baskets.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Bears In Fairy Tales Live In Nicer Houses Than I Do.
of 54 votes, 39% like it
Beck is a Scientologist. Now I'm Scared.
of 48 votes, 6% like it
Beds Are An Adult’s Safety Zone In A Game Of Life Tag.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Beds Are So Easy, They’ll Sleep With Anyone.
of 26 votes, 35% like it
Bees Don't Have To Drink Much To Get A Buzz.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Before Eating Meet Products You Should Introduce Yourself.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Before Gravity Was Invented, It Was Very Hard Finding Your House.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Being A Breadwinner Is Fun, But I Prefer Getting Paid In Money.
of 76 votes, 39% like it
Being A Human Cannonball Isn't So Bad Until The Pirates Attack.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
Being A Judge Sounds Pretty Cool With All The Free Recess Time.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
Being a Sinner Gets You Front Row Tickets to the Armageddon Show.
of 53 votes, 15% like it
Being Bit By a Zombie Is Only a Flesh Wound.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Being Clinically Insane Means Never Having to Say "I'm Sorry
of 39 votes, 15% like it
Being In The Lap Of Luxury Is Actually Kind Of Creepy.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
Being Irony-Deficient is the Number One Killer of Good Jokes
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Being Kinged In Checkers Is My Crowning Achievement.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
Being Known As The Class Clown In Clown College Is A High Honor.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
Being Lazy Sounds Like A lot Of Work.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Being Mentally Challenged Every Day Keeps Your Brain In Shape.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
Being Sleep Deprived is Like Going to a Funhouse For Free.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Bells Can’t Stand All The Ringing In Their Ears.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
Bess Don't Have To Drink Much To Get A Buzz.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
Bet You Can't Make a New Word That Isn't Already in the Alphabet
of 37 votes, 5% like it
Betsy Ross Made a 'Blinged-Out' Version of the Flag As Well.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Betsy Ross Recieved Plenty of Gold Stars From Her Teachers.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Between The Civil And Rap Wars, All Of America Has Seen Battle.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Big Fires in Winter Can Give You 3rd Degree Freezer Burns.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
Bike Salesmen Pedal Their Wares All Over the Place.
of 45 votes, 13% like it
Bill Gates's Home is Quietly Plotting to Take Over the World
of 50 votes, 8% like it
Bill Gates's House = Intellectual Property
of 44 votes, 2% like it
Birds Are Not Impressed By My Flying Superpowers.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
Birds That Go Skydiving Aren't As Extreme As It Sounds.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
Black Giant Pool Balls Are My Favorite Form Of Magic.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Black Holes Could Really Use Some Color From The Sun.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Black Holes Could Really Use Some Colorful Redecorating.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Blink Your Left Eye Once If You Like To Wink.
of 30 votes, 30% like it
Blowholes Are Like Living Water Fountains.
of 31 votes, 35% like it
Bo Knows How to Disappear From the Spotlight
of 3 votes, 0% like it
Bo Knows No Longer.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Board Games Have Made Me Expect Money Around Parking Spaces.
of 37 votes, 19% like it
Bogeymen Enjoy the Nightlife.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
Bones Should Just Say No To Crack.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Boobs: The Best Proof Against the World Not Being Flat.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
Booby Hatch Escapee
of 41 votes, 0% like it
Book Lovers Paint The Town Read.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Bookmarks Are Like Prisoners Kept Inside a Paper Jail Cell.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
Bookmarks Are Like Prisoners Kept Inside Paper Jail Cells.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
Books Are Excellent Story Tellers.
of 32 votes, 34% like it
Books That Are Spineless Fall Apart Under Pressure.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Books Written In Body Language Don't Translate Very Well.
of 52 votes, 38% like it
Books: They're Just Like This Only Longer.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Bookworms Read Too Much Into Things.
of 46 votes, 37% like it
Bookworms Would Love To Receive A Life Sentence.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Boomerang Throwing Stars Cut the Number of Ninjas in Half.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Boomerang Throwing Stars Never Caught On in the Ninja Community.
of 42 votes, 29% like it
Boomerang Throwing Stars Was The Ninja Class Clown's Downfall.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
Bosses Perfect Their Downsizing Skills At Firing Ranges.
of 53 votes, 11% like it
Both Humans and Fire Love Oxygen. I See Potential Problems Here.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Both Men And Women Have Balls, It's Just In Their Eyes.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Both Tennis Players And Pimps Need To Work On Their Backhand.
of 40 votes, 33% like it
Bottomless Pits Are Even Scarier When They Go Topless.
of 51 votes, 35% like it
Bow-Chicka-Wow!
of 35 votes, 9% like it
Boxers Tell The Best Punchlines.
of 33 votes, 15% like it
Brains Can Be So Thoughtless.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Brains: The Thinking Person's Organ of Choice.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
Break The Rules So Hard They Can't Be Glued Back Together.
of 37 votes, 35% like it
Breast Reductions Can Lead To Long-Term Mammary Loss.
of 42 votes, 24% like it
Breathing Makes Me Feel Alive Inside.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Broken Mirrors Aren't All They're Cracked Up To Be.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
Broken Televisions Have Bad Self-Image Problems.
of 37 votes, 11% like it
Bruise: The Forgotten Season After Spring & Fall.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Bruises Are The New Black & Blue.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
Bug Zapping is Inhumane, I Prefer Fly Lethal Injection.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Building a Highway So My Ideas Don't Hurt As They Go Over Ur Head
of 38 votes, 11% like it
Bull Fighting: The Art of Lying About Your Sparring Skills.
of 50 votes, 20% like it
Bullets Don't Want To Be Violent, They Were Just Born That Way.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Bulls and Bears Are Nature's Monetary Experts.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
Bumbling Bees Sting Themselves By Accident.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
But I Already Quit My Day Job! Now What Do I Do?
of 28 votes, 25% like it
By Chuckling At This Tee, My Laughing Stock Goes Up in Value.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
By My Calculations, You Should Be Done Reading This Slogan...NOW.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
By Reading This Shirt You Are Now Legally Required To Laugh.
of 31 votes, 32% like it
By Reading This Shirt You Have Consented To Do My Laundry
of 104 votes, 17% like it
By Reading This You Are Now a Member of My Fan Club.
of 38 votes, 24% like it
By Reading This You've Just Triggered My Shirt's Silent Alarm.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
Cache Moves Everything Around Me.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Call Me Crazy, But I Don't Like It When You Call Me Crazy.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
Call Me Paranoid, But I Think You Just Called Me Paranoid.
of 56 votes, 25% like it
Camp Fires Are Like Miniature Versions Of Hell For Marshmallows.
of 49 votes, 29% like it
Campfire Storytelling: The Original HDTV.
of 32 votes, 28% like it
Can I Get You To Stop Correcting My Grammar?
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Can Someone Tell Me What The Hell Satanism Is All About?
of 24 votes, 17% like it
Can We Bring Metaphors Back to Rap Music PLEASE?
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Can We Just Round Up to 3.15 And Be Done With It?
of 52 votes, 15% like it
Can You Age Grapes Into Wine Faster By Worrying Them?
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Candlestick Jumping: The Fairy Tale Extreme Sport Of Choice.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Candy Canes Are The Most Delicious Choice For A Walking Stick.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
Canine Cannibals Agree It's A Dog Eat Dog World.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
Capricorn = Unicorns Made Of Candy Corn.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Care To Conspire On a Theory With Me?
of 31 votes, 19% like it
Careful Not To Get Waterlogged By The Size Of My Brainwaves.
of 36 votes, 11% like it
Careful of Theoretical Debris When Near a Deconstruction Site.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
Careful! I Have Sharp, Witty Edges.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Careful, I Spilled An Entire Soda On My Last Magic Carpet Drive.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Careless Artists Overdraw Their Bank Accounts.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
Carmen Sandiego Funds Terrorism
of 31 votes, 10% like it
Cars Run On Expensive Gas While My Body Runs On Feet.
of 63 votes, 35% like it
Castles Invented Moats To Keep Out People Like Me.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
Catapults: Just Like Trampolines, But Only Needs One Jump.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
Cats Are Glad They Live In A Dog Eat Dog World.
of 47 votes, 36% like it
Cats Are Tired Of Your Pus*y Jokes.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Cats Create Things From Scratch.
of 50 votes, 26% like it
Cats Who Love Videogames Have Eight 1Ups.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Cats: Because Lions Would Eat Us If We Tried To Pet Them.
of 69 votes, 29% like it
Causing Friction Between Your Fingers Is A Snap.
of 49 votes, 31% like it
Cemeteries Are Just Future Zombie Zoos.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
CEO & Chairman of the Bored
of 44 votes, 16% like it
Chain Smokers Have Rusty Teeth.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
Chain Wallets Demand Their Freedom From Your Pants NOW!
of 40 votes, 15% like it
Chalk Is Meant For Sidewalk Art, Not Blackboards.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
Charming Zombies Are Such Man-Eaters.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
Cheaters Are Only Cheating Themselves. To Higher Grades.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
Check Your Ego At The Door. Also, Your Coat.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Chef Salad: Also Called 'Cannibal's Delight' In Some Circles.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
Chickens Are Not Too Happy About Being The Most Popular Taste.
of 39 votes, 36% like it
Child Temper Tantrums Were The Original Stress Release Therapy.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
Children Are A Great Midnight Snack. Wait, Is This Shirt On?
of 35 votes, 20% like it
Chinese Pillow Fight Torture: Not as Painful as the Alternative.
of 47 votes, 11% like it
Choose Clarinets Not Bayonets
of 272 votes, 19% like it
ChristmaHanuKwanzica Sounds Like A Scientologist Holiday
of 41 votes, 10% like it
Circles Are Good People, But They've Got No Edge To Them.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Circles Are Terrible Square Dancers.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
Circles Can't Help It When They Sleep Around.
of 52 votes, 23% like it
Circles Sleep Around.
of 23 votes, 39% like it
Circles Tend To Sleep Around.
of 24 votes, 38% like it
Circles: You Wouldn't Like Them When They're Angle-y.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
Civil War Reenactments Are Like a Lazy Man's Time Travel.
of 55 votes, 29% like it
Clapping and Applause Go Hand-In-Hand.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
Clark Kent Gets All His Fast Food Super-Sized.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
Clever Shirts Are Easy. Boring Tees Take Guts To Wear.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
Cliche T-Shirts Are Like A Dime A Dozen.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
Cliff Diving: Because Even Rock Formations Need Extreme Sports.
of 39 votes, 38% like it
Cliffs Diving: The Extreme Sport That Skips to the Good Parts.
of 37 votes, 5% like it
Climbing Beanstalks: Not As Much Fun As Stories Make It Out To Be
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Clocks Have Too Much Time on Their Hands.
of 45 votes, 33% like it
Clocks Know That Timing Is Everything.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Cloning Isn't Always Perfect. Cloning Isn't Always Prefect.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
Cloning Makes It Way More Fun to Play With Myself.
of 59 votes, 32% like it
Cloning Presents Is The Gift That Keeps On Giving.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Cloning Someone Doesn't Take Much Originality.
of 50 votes, 26% like it
Cloning: The Only Way To Really See How That Outfit Looks On You.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
Clothes Make Me Suspicious About What Your Body's Hiding From Me.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
Clouds Always Save Up For A Rainy Day.
of 49 votes, 18% like it
Clouds Are Nature's Warplanes Trying To Bomb Us With Acid Rain.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
Clown College is No Laughing Matter.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Clowns Invest All Their Money In Laughing Stock.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
Clumsy DJ's Drop Mad Beats.
of 26 votes, 8% like it
Cobra Hates Us For Our Freedom.
of 62 votes, 24% like it
Colonel Sanders And General Tso Engage In World-Wide Food Fights.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Colors That Run Live Longer Than Those That Don't.
of 45 votes, 29% like it
Come On Already Evolution, When Am I Gonna Grow Wings?
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Coming Next Olympics: The Short & Long Distance Relationship
of 57 votes, 33% like it
Coming Soon: The Future! Now Our Feature Presentation:The Present
of 41 votes, 32% like it
Commercials Are Just Super-Sexy Mind Control.
of 36 votes, 33% like it
Computer Minesweeper is a Secret Army Recruitment Tool!
of 47 votes, 15% like it
Computer Nerds Like To Be Paid in Cache.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
Computer Nerds Like You To Pay Them in Cache.
of 3 votes, 0% like it
Computers Are Hiding Something, Why Else Would They Talk In Code?
of 40 votes, 33% like it
Computers Ctrl+S Lives
of 26 votes, 19% like it
Computers Never Change Their Image, They Refresh It.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Con Artists Are Such Negative Illustrators.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Confucius Say Lots Of Confusing Things.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
Confucius Say Wisdom Sounds Better After a Belly Full of Wontons.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
ConFusion: A Questionable Energy Source That Produces Lots Of Fog
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Conjunctions Are a Major Pain in the As.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
Conjunctions Are Such a Pain in the As.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
CONTENTS: 99% Sarcasm, 1% Twinkies
of 53 votes, 17% like it
Continually Fielding Questions For My Imaginary Press Conference
of 40 votes, 13% like it
Cookies Cutters Think Humans Are All The Same Too.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Cooperation Means Others Working Together To Do Exactly As I Say.
of 42 votes, 21% like it
Cooties: The Only Made-Up Virus Less Deadly Than The Real Ones.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Cops Aren't Being Inspirational When They Say Reach For The Sky.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Corn on the Cobweb Is Not As Tasty As It Sounds.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
Corny Jokes Are A Good Source Of Vegetables.
of 14 votes, 36% like it
Cough Syrup? No Thanks, I Can Cough Just Fine On My Own.
of 58 votes, 16% like it
Counterfeiters Make Lots Of Money.
of 52 votes, 21% like it
Coupons Save Lives, But Only If You Save Two People At Once.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Cows Pass Dairy Air
of 17 votes, 0% like it
Crack Isn't Nearly As Tasty As Snap, Crackle Or Pop.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
Crack: The Most Addictive Of All Onomatopoeia.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
Crap! I Just Saw a Pig Flying Through the Air. Now What?
of 46 votes, 11% like it
Crap! My Psychology is Stuck in Reverse.
of 15 votes, 7% like it
Creative Con-Artists Use Your Imagination.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
Crickets Are the Only Ones Who Get The Punchlines Of My Jokes.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
Criminals Who Are Bad At Grammar Receive Run-On Sentences.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
Crip Vampires Are Always on a Hunt For Bloods.
of 42 votes, 12% like it
Crossing a Milestone Means It's a Mile Walk Back As Well.
of 34 votes, 12% like it
Cruise Missles: The Chilled-Out Showboats of Heavy Artillery.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
Crunk Bears From the South Go Into Hyphynation in the Winter.
of 35 votes, 9% like it
Cubicles = Voluntary Jail Cells With Internet Access.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Cucumbers Tend To Lose Their Cool When Being Eaten.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Cupid Showed Me Tough Love With a Scalping After the Arrow Hit.
of 16 votes, 0% like it
Cupid Shows Me Tough Love.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
Cupid's Evil Twin Shoots Arrows Tipped With Tainted Love.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
Curiosity Museums Are Like Cat Death Traps.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
Currently Evolving
of 346 votes, 29% like it
Currently Hanging On To Reality By A Pinky Toe
of 21 votes, 0% like it
Currently Warming Myself With the Blood of My Broken Heart
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Curse Words Are Nothing to Swear By
of 44 votes, 20% like it
Curse Words Are Nothing To Swear By, Dammit!
of 49 votes, 12% like it
Curse Words Are Nothing to Swear By.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
Curse Words. They're Nothing to Swear By.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Cut Me Some Slack, Unless The Rope Is About To Break.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
Cute - As - a - Buttonhole.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Cute and Fuzzy Feelings Cause Global Warming
of 125 votes, 26% like it
Cute-As-a-Buttonhole.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
Daddy, Where Did All the Native Americans Go?
of 61 votes, 18% like it
DAGNABBIT!!!!!
of 38 votes, 5% like it
Daisies Are Always Being Picked On.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
Dancing in a Congo Line Might Get You Malaria.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
Daredevil Vampires Sleep Inside Greenhouses During the Day.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
Dating Water Vapor Is Boring Because It Lacks Substance.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
Davey Jones Foot Locker Smells Like Dirty Socks & Dead Fish.
of 48 votes, 10% like it
Daydreams Are Just The Previews For Sleep's Feature Presentation.
of 41 votes, 32% like it
Daylight Savings Knows How To Change With The Times.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Daylight Savings Return to Normal Prices When the Sun Goes Down.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Dead Hands Come Back To Life As Spirit Fingers.
of 52 votes, 17% like it
Dear Gravity, Thanks For Making Roller Coasters Awesome!
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Dear Gravity, Thanks For The Water Slides And Roller Coasters!
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Dear Mr. Rap Star, I Get You're a "Hustla", But Can U Rhyme?
of 31 votes, 10% like it
Dear Quadruple Spacing, Thanks For Making 20 Page Papers Possible
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Dear Snuggie, You're Just A Cheap Couch Poncho.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
Dear Sun, You Light Up My Life. (uv letter fill in)
of 42 votes, 36% like it
Death is Just a Gate Way to Heaven.
of 26 votes, 8% like it
Death Metal Band Seeks Ukelele Player
of 164 votes, 23% like it
Death Squads Execute Their Jobs With Precision.
of 43 votes, 14% like it
Deer Are Just Trying To Win A Staring Contest With Your Car.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
Deer Are Nature's Car Bombs.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Deer Are Taking Over the Planet, One Carload At a Time.
of 33 votes, 3% like it
Demolition And Home Run Derbies Are Much More Fun When Combined.
of 34 votes, 32% like it
Deserts Wouldn't Be As Bad If They Had Sand Bars.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
Designers Garden By Cropping Their Photos.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Despite Its Name, Inhaling An Airplane Will NOT Help You Breathe.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Despite Their Name, Catepillars Can't Support As Much As A Column
of 34 votes, 15% like it
Deus Ex Machina: Greek For "Really Lame Movie Ending"
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Diamonds Are An Anti-Social Girl's Best Friend.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Dictionary (n): 1. The Thing You Are Reading Right Now, Dummy.
of 45 votes, 9% like it
Did Monks Give Their Parents the Silent Treatment?
of 30 votes, 20% like it
Did Slow Motion Kick In When You Saw Me Walking Towards You?
of 46 votes, 22% like it
Did You Ever Notice That Most Observational Humor Isn't Funny?
of 45 votes, 20% like it
Did You Know Jesus Majored In Carpentry, But Minored In Science?
of 32 votes, 28% like it
Did You Know That 10 Out of 3 People Are Dyslexic?
of 119 votes, 17% like it
Did You Know That Gullibles Are Birds That Live By The Sea?
of 20 votes, 35% like it
Didn't Your Mother Ever Teach You It's Not Polite To Stare?
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Diet Food Tastes Better When You Eat Several Pounds of It.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Digital Music is the .WAV of the Future!
of 53 votes, 23% like it
Dinosaur Party At My House! No Raptors Though, They Get Too Rowdy
of 25 votes, 32% like it
Do Airplanes Ever Chase Their Own Tails?
of 43 votes, 37% like it
Do New Magicians Saw People in Half Before They Get It Right?
of 48 votes, 19% like it
Do Not Attempt a Cannonball Into a Pool Table.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Do Not Bring Chips and Salsa to a Search Party.
of 30 votes, 33% like it
Do Not Jump Out of a Window While Wearing a Flight Jacket.
of 32 votes, 3% like it
Do Not Look At Spot To Run If He Resides On The Sun.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
Do Not Look At Spot To Run If It Resides On The Sun.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
DO NOT READ THIS SHIRT! Uh-Oh... *world explodes*
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Do Not Sign On the Dotted Line When It's In the Middle of a Road.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Do Not Try These Stunts at Home. Go Out in Traffic First.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
Do Not Use a Cacti As Your Pillow When Sleeping in a Flower Bed.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Do People Who Believe in Self-Sacrifice Belong To Secret Cults?
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Do Stars Wish Upon Themselves?
of 33 votes, 18% like it
Do Vegetarians Eat Rubber Chickens On Thanksgiving?
of 58 votes, 12% like it
Do What I Say Or Else I'm Gonna Issue More Idle Threats.
of 19 votes, 37% like it
Do You Always Read People's Chests Before Saying Hello To Them?
of 40 votes, 20% like it
Do You Ever Get Lost In A Thought Of A Thought In A Thought Of A…
of 17 votes, 12% like it
Do You Have a Spare Ninja Star I Could Borrow?
of 63 votes, 16% like it
Do You Have an Outlet I Can Stick This Metal Spork Into?
of 42 votes, 26% like it
Do You Keep Secrets? Well Hand 'Em Over, This is a Stick Up!
of 26 votes, 4% like it
Do You Like Throwing Money in Videos? You Too Can Be a Rap Star!
of 21 votes, 5% like it
DO YOU READ ME LOUD AND CLEAR?
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Do You Want To Be An Individual? Hey, Join the Club.
of 34 votes, 38% like it
Does Being Short-Sighted Mean You Can Only See Little People?
of 45 votes, 29% like it
Does Driving A Sports Car Count As Being an Athlete?
of 28 votes, 36% like it
Does My Chest REALLY Have to Entertain You?
of 41 votes, 12% like it
Does My Soul Look Too Big in This Shirt?
of 29 votes, 24% like it
Does Nature Look At Science And Go 'I Shoulda Thought Of That!'
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Does the Human Wearing Me Make Me Look Too Stretched Out?
of 31 votes, 26% like it
Does The Sun Ever Want To Stand In The Shade From Itself?
of 18 votes, 17% like it
Does The Sun Run On Oil or Solar Power?
of 38 votes, 39% like it
Dogs Could Read Books If You Translated Them Into Barks.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Dogs: They Hate Cats and Play Lots of Poker.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
Domesticated Animals Are Really Into Heavy Petting.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
Don't Be Colorblind, Life's Problems Are Not Just Black Or White.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Don't Beat Yourself Up So Much. Here, Let Me Do It.
of 46 votes, 26% like it
Don't Blame Me. I'm Just the Group's Hype Man.
of 47 votes, 9% like it
DON'T CALL ME PARANOID! You Did Just Call Me That, Right?
of 41 votes, 29% like it
Don't Eat Yellow Snow. Unless You Find Some In The Desert.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Don't Even Think About Yawning After Reading This.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Don't Follow The Masses, You'll Only Wind Up Getting Fat.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
Don't Judge the Old Lady Until You've Walked a Mile To Her Shoe.
of 43 votes, 14% like it
Don't Just Take My Word For How Awesome I Am. Read the Shirt!
of 32 votes, 16% like it
Don't Let the Musical Chairs in the Mosh Pit.
of 51 votes, 10% like it
Don't Let the Person Wearing This Know I've Gone. Thanks, Slogan
of 29 votes, 17% like it
Don't Live A Selfish Life. That Way You Can Give Me More Stuff.
of 57 votes, 18% like it
Don't Make Any Waves In Life. Strive For Tsunamis.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
Don't Make Waves In Life. Strive For Tsunamis.
of 31 votes, 35% like it
Don't Tell Humpty Dumpty Any Jokes Or He'll Crack Up.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
Don't Tell My Patients, But I Called Out Sick From Work Today.
of 37 votes, 14% like it
Don't Use Double-Negative Reverse Psychology on Me.
of 50 votes, 32% like it
Don't Walk Signs Say Nothing About Rolling Across The Street.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Don't Worry, I Only Murder People When I'm On Vacation.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Don't Yell "Who's Your Daddy?" At Jesus. God Will Smit
of 1 votes, 0% like it
Don't You Hate When T-Shirt Slogans Waste Your Time?
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Doughnuts Love Our Taste Buds But Hate The Rest Of Our Body.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
Drag Racing's Main Event: The Cross-Country Cross-Dressing Relay.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
Drinking A Spot Of Tea Doesn't Sound Very Filling.
of 37 votes, 16% like it
Drinking Kills. Especially If You Are Drinking Poison.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Drinking Scotch Tape Will Not Get You Drunk.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Drop Knowledge Not Names.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
Dropping a Wine Bottle Breaks My Spirits.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
Drum Circles Are The Grooviest Of All Geometric Shapes.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
Drum Rolls Sound Better Than They Taste.
of 56 votes, 23% like it
Drums Are Getting Sick and Tired of Always Being Beaten.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
Drums Are Sick and Tired of Being Beaten.
of 83 votes, 31% like it
Due To Unforeseen Events, I Need New Glasses.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Duelists Don't Run For Exercise, They Pace.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
Dumb Luck Does Not Appreciate All The Name-Calling.
of 42 votes, 14% like it
Dunk Tanks: Like Walking The Plank, Only With Less Certain Death.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
During A Full Moon, I Moon Back.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
Dust Bunnies Are Easier To Trap Around Easter Time.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
DYSFUNCTION: A Game The Whole Family Can Play!
of 35 votes, 29% like it
Ear Drums Are Very Difficult To Bang On and Not Break
of 41 votes, 17% like it
Earth Day Is Now Known As 'Help Mankind Survive Another Year' Day
of 46 votes, 13% like it
Earthquakes Are Known In Nature As Land Dancing.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
Earthquakes Are Known In Nature As Land Slam-Dancing.
of 25 votes, 36% like it
Earthquakes: The #1 Lawbreaker Of Library Quiet Zones.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
Eat your mushrooms and veggies to grow up big like Mario
of 30 votes, 13% like it
Eating Angel Hair Pasta Is a Creepy Way To Get Closer To Heaven.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
Eating Candy You Took From A Baby Tastes All The More Sweet.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
Eating Nuclear Waste Is What Gives Me Such A Nice Glow.
of 29 votes, 38% like it
Eating Too Many Magic Beans Makes You Fart Beanstalks.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
Eating With A Tuning Fork Tastes Like Music To My Mouth.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
Ebony and Irony
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Economic Innuendo Highly Stimulates A Rising Marketplace.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
Economy Time Travel Stinks When Have A Layover In Medieval Ages.
of 31 votes, 26% like it
Eeep Op Ork Ah-Ah: That Means I Love U
of 34 votes, 12% like it
Electric Eels: The Lightning Bolts Of The Sea.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
Electrical Transformers Are Much Less Fun To Play With.
of 50 votes, 18% like it
Electrical Transformers Aren't As Fun To Play With As They Sound.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Electrical Transformers Aren't As Much Fun As The Cartoon Show.
of 35 votes, 23% like it
Electrocution: The #1 Cause Of Death For Lightning Bolts.
of 37 votes, 16% like it
Elevators: Flipping Off Gravity Since 1880.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
Elevators: Giving The Middle Finger To Gravity Since 1880.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
Elitists Play Air Mandolin.
of 45 votes, 13% like it
Emoticons Do Not Count As Punctuation.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
Emotional Roller Coasters Are Both Awesome and Boring To Ride.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Encyclopedias Are Really Mad The Internet Stole Their Gig.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
End Water Violence By Keeping Swimming Pools Free Of Cannonballs.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
End-Of-The-World Talk Gives the Earth Self-Esteem Issues.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Ending Human Rule Will Start the Glorious Rise of the Cockroach.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Ending Poverty Will Bankrupt the Stick & Handkerchief Market!
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Energy Drink Guzzlers Are A Bunch Of Radical X-TREMEists.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Engrish is My Second Luggage.
of 64 votes, 31% like it
Entertain Yourself, Dammit!
of 23 votes, 9% like it
Environmentalists Vs. The Irish: Who Loves Green The Most?
of 54 votes, 33% like it
Equine Never Follow The 'No Horseplay' Signs.
of 27 votes, 4% like it
esrever ygolohcysp t'nseod .krow
of 1 votes, 0% like it
Eve And Sleeping Beauties Have Convinced Me That Fruit Is Evil.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
Even Large Bodies Of Water Can Get Sensitive About Their Figure.
of 33 votes, 39% like it
Even My Imaginary Friends Steal My Lunch Money.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Even Paul Reveres Me
of 49 votes, 12% like it
Even The International Date Line Wouldn't Go Out With You.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
Even When It's Well-Behaved, Grass Is Always Grounded.
of 51 votes, 16% like it
Every Cup You Drink From You've Made Out With. Think About It.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
Every Day is the Start of a New Fact-Finding Expedition.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
Every Day Someone Gives Up On Their Dreams. Don’t Be A Statistic.
of 44 votes, 18% like it
Every Day, Zombies Try To Live Undeath To Its Fullest.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Every Decision You Make Is Technically Life-Changing.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Every Once In a While This T-Shirt Throws Out Prizes!
of 58 votes, 24% like it
Every Time A Bell Rings, An Angel Changes Shift.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
Every Time I Argue With Mario, He Tries To 1Up Me.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
Every Time I Defy Gravity, It Grounds Me.
of 48 votes, 29% like it
Every Time I Go Bass Fishing The Water Blows Out My Speakers.
of 62 votes, 23% like it
Every Time I Have Searing Leg Pain, I Get a Sense of Deja Voodoo.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
Every Time I Put Them Down, My Books Won't Stop Paging Me.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
Every Time I Rub A Genie Lamp, I Get Sued For Harassment.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
Every Time It Snows I Feel The Globe Being Shaken Up.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Every Time You Clap, You Start A Fight Between Your Hands.
of 37 votes, 24% like it
Every Time You Fall In Love With A Season, It Changes On You.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Every Time You Make My Heart Race, I Take the Checkered Flag.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
EVERYONE COME OVER AND READ MY SHIRT! (small) i hate crowds.
of 12 votes, 25% like it
Everyone Gets Lost on the Way to My Pants Parties.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Everyone Gets This Shirt's Joke Except For You.
of 50 votes, 32% like it
Everyone Treats the Apocalypse Like It's the End of the World.
of 50 votes, 26% like it
Everyone's Raving About My Techno Dance Parties!
of 41 votes, 15% like it
Everything's Coming Up Roses, But I'm Allergic to Flowers.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
Everywhere I Stand Will Become a Historical Landmark.
of 37 votes, 19% like it
Evil Skeletons Are Bad To The Bone!
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Exclamation Points Are Just Periods With Levitating Hats!
of 22 votes, 36% like it
Exclamation Points Are Periods With ADD.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
Exclamation Points Gone Wild!!!!!!!!!!
of 45 votes, 24% like it
Exercise Or Time Travel Are The Best Ways To Change Your Life.
of 33 votes, 39% like it
Exploding Stars Are Terrorists Trying To Take Down Our Galaxy!
of 47 votes, 17% like it
Explosions Think People Are So Easy To Impress.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
Extra Credit Points Are The Equivalent Of Nerd Catnip.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Extra Lives Always Try To 1-Up Me.
of 0 votes, 0% like it
Extra Lives Are Always Trying To 1-Up Me.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Eye Lash Out Occasionally
of 47 votes, 13% like it
F**K CENSORSHIP!
of 69 votes, 14% like it
F**K THE POLICE! And Sting's Solo Career as Well!
of 32 votes, 6% like it
Fact: Kings Used To Be Crowned Over A Game Of Checkers.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
FACT: There Is No Such Thing as a True Fact.
of 36 votes, 25% like it
Facts Are Just Theories That Haven't Been Proven Wrong Yet.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
Facts: It's Funny Cause They're True.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
Facts: They're Funny 'Cause It's True.
of 51 votes, 14% like it
Failed Authors Will Make Great Ghost Writers When They Die.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Falling Asleep Always Hurts My Face.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
Falling Asleep Is Easy, Just Recite From A to ZZZ.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Fantastical Gold Rings Taught Me That All Life is PRECIOUS.
of 34 votes, 15% like it
Fantasy Sports Could Use More Wizards And Orcs.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
Fantasy Sports Is Playtime For People With No Imagination.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
Fantasy Sports Leagues Need More Magical Trolls.
of 34 votes, 9% like it
Farting: It's A Gas!
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Fashion-Forward Athletes Wear Their Jocks Strapless.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
Fault Lines Have Very Low Self-Esteem.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
FEEL THE BURN. Then Run Some More Because Your Gym Is On Fire.
of 29 votes, 10% like it
Feeling Relaxed Today? I Took Your Voodoo Doll To Get A Massage.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
Feelings Can Get So Emotional At Times.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
Fetal Is My Best Position To Play In Any Sport.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Fight Animal Cruelty. Don't Let Kids Play Monkey In The Middle.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Fight Animal Cruelty: Make Sure Your Pets Can't See You Have Sex.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Fight Animal Cruelty: Make Sure Your Puppy Can't See You Have Sex
of 84 votes, 15% like it
Fight Depression With Fists and Knives, Not Pills.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Fight Noise Pollution: Don't Listen to the Radio
of 21 votes, 10% like it
FIGHT THE POWER. Just Make Sure The Electricity Is Turned Off.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
Filmmakers Always Try to Keep it Reel.
of 7 votes, 14% like it
Finding a Haystack In a Needle Is Even Harder To Find.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
FINE!!! I'LL TURN DOWn THe VOLume Of This t-shirt. better?
of 45 votes, 16% like it
Fire Drills Do Not Make Good Home Improvement Tools.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Fire Drills Make Lousy Home Improvement Tools.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Fire Must Be Really Dirty Since It Never Takes A Shower.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
Fireworks Believe In Going Out With A Bang.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
First Thing's First, If It's The Last Thing I Do.
of 53 votes, 21% like it
Fish Don't Take A Shower In Their Entire Lives.
of 42 votes, 38% like it
Fish Love Everything About Music Except For The Hooks.
of 41 votes, 15% like it
Fish Take Only One Shower That Lasts Their Entire Lifetime.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Flaming Comets Are Just Attention-Seeking Space Rocks.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Flattery Doesn't Work On Such An Intelligent Person Like Yourself
of 16 votes, 13% like it
Flower Children Must Remain Seeded At All Times.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
Fluent in Ten More Forms of Communication Than C3PO
of 45 votes, 13% like it
Flunked out of finishing school
of 30 votes, 7% like it
Flying By The Seat Of Your Pants Makes For Some Painful Landings.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
Flying Is For The Birds.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
Flying Sounds Fun Unless You Have To Be A Fly To Do It.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
Fog Are Clouds That Never Learned How To Fly.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
Fog Are Just Clouds That Were Given Bad Directions.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Fog Is Just Clouds That Got Lost on Their Way to the Sky.
of 40 votes, 23% like it
Fog: The Cloud That Didn't Fit in With the Others.
of 47 votes, 26% like it
Folks Who Claim 'You Can't Win Em All' Musta Flunked Stat Class.
of 48 votes, 19% like it
Follow Me to the Insanity Factory!
of 33 votes, 15% like it
Following Others Leads To Nothing.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
Food For Thought Is Good, But Some Water Might Help Too.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Food For Thought Is Good, But Water Might Help Too.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
Foot-In-Mouth Disease Is Spreading So Please Speak Responsibly.
of 43 votes, 37% like it
For Every Action, There is An Action-Comedy.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
For the Best Medicine, Try Laughtranex.
of 39 votes, 13% like it
For Time Travelers, The Future Is Now and Then.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
For Time Travelers, The Future Is Then.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
Forget About Baby Steps, I Prefer Godzilla Stomps.
of 41 votes, 29% like it
Forget Analog and Digital, I Tell Time By Sundial.
of 44 votes, 39% like it
Forget Lips, Loose Bolts Sink Ships.
of 58 votes, 26% like it
Forget Nude Beaches, Where Are The Double Parka Ones At?
of 26 votes, 8% like it
Forget Past & Future, I'll Take the Ghost of Christmas Presen
of 2 votes, 100% like it
Forget Ponies, I Want A Unicorn For My Next Birthday.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Forget Roses, Give The Vegetarian You Love A Dozen Cauliflowers.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Forget Witches & Wardrobes, Lions Make the Best Roaring Fire
of 43 votes, 7% like it
Former Inmates Rarely Live in Gated Communities.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
Fortified With a Good Daily Balance of Vitamins & Ministers
of 30 votes, 7% like it
Fortunately, Most Vampires Have A Weakness For Stake Sandwiches.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Fortune Cookies Have '...In Bed', The Internet Has '...com'.
of 23 votes, 4% like it
Forward Thinkers Write Letters on Post-Cards.
of 37 votes, 14% like it
Forward-Thinkers Write Letters on Post-Cards.
of 4 votes, 50% like it
Fractions: Breaking Up Number Families Since the Dawn of Math.
of 55 votes, 38% like it
Freaky Friday Pales in Comparison to Stromboli Saturday.
of 58 votes, 22% like it
FREE HUGS! (but letting go is gonna cost ya)
of 32 votes, 28% like it
FREE HUGS! Now Two For The Price Of One!
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Free Readings Given Here! See, That Didn't Cost You Anything.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
Free Your Mind In a Society That Charges You For Everything.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
Freeze Tag: The REAL Cause Of The Ice Age.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
Fresh Gingerbread Men Turn Me Into a Cookie Serial Killer.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Freudian Slips Can Injure Your Back.
of 361 votes, 34% like it
FRICKINAWESOME!!!
of 38 votes, 8% like it
Fruit Flies Taste Surprisingly Awful.
of 61 votes, 38% like it
Fruit Roll-Up Factory Employee
of 74 votes, 12% like it
Funny Slogans Are the Energy Drinks of the Sentence Family.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Futuristic Farmers Grow Their Vegetables On Force Fields.
of 44 votes, 25% like it
Garbage Cans Can Be So Trashy.
of 44 votes, 34% like it
Generals Lead Some Of The Vaguest Armies In The World.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Generous Donor For the Legalization of Full Contact Ballet
of 23 votes, 4% like it
Geometry Problems Are Always Going Off On A Tangent.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
George W. Bush, Paris Hilton, Toby Keith= Why America is Hated
of 36 votes, 28% like it
Germs Can't Hurt Me If I Haven't Learned About Them Yet.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
Germs Really Make Me Sick!
of 33 votes, 36% like it
Getting A Good Education Is So Old-School.
of 35 votes, 37% like it
Getting Gored by a Unicorn Makes You Bleed Rainbows
of 202 votes, 27% like it
Getting Hit By An Ice Cream Truck Gives Me the Worst Headache.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Ghost Mob Bosses Are Completely Untouchable.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
Ghost Writing Is A Great Career Option For The Afterlife.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Ghosts Always Come Back To Haunt Me.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
Ghosts and Zombies: Partners For A Better Undead World.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Ghosts Like Haunting, But They Love To Write Books More.
of 16 votes, 6% like it
Ghosts Mistakenly Make Boo-Boos All The Time.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
Ghosts of Hobos are So Tortured Because They Can't Haunt Indoors.
of 48 votes, 8% like it
Ghosts That Haunt Mansions Enjoy a Nicer Lifestyle Than Me
of 44 votes, 23% like it
Ghosts Who Haunt Didn't Get Enough Attention In Life.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Ghosts Who Spend All Their Time Haunting Should Live A Little.
of 44 votes, 25% like it
Giants Spend Too Much Time With Their Head in the Clouds
of 9 votes, 22% like it
Giants Spend Too Much Time With Their Head in the Clouds.
of 7 votes, 43% like it
Gigantic Earth-Colliding Meteors Have Feelings Too.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
Giraffes: Nature's Most Useless Step-Ladder.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Giving a Taste of My Own Medicine Actually Improves My Health.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Giving Away 10,000 Bananas To a Monkey Smart Enough to Read This!
of 110 votes, 15% like it
Glaciers Are Just Pirate Ships For Abominable Snowmen.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Glass Ceilings Are Sad People Always Want To Break Them.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
Global Warming is For Hot Lovers.
of 44 votes, 20% like it
Global Warming is Nature's Way of Saying 'Get Off My Property!'
of 42 votes, 21% like it
Global Warming Is The Sun's Rage Over The Lightbulb's Invention.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Global Warming Liars Will Soon Find Their Pants on Fire.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Global Warming vs Nuclear Holocaust: The Battle is On!
of 60 votes, 27% like it
Globes Are Excellent Fantasies of the World If It Wasn't Flat.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
Globes Show Us What the World Would Look Like If It Wasn't Flat.
of 49 votes, 29% like it
Glue: It Brings People Together. And Never Lets Them Go.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
GNISU TON MA I ESREVER YGOLOHCYSP THGIR OUY NO .WON
of 15 votes, 7% like it
GNISU TON MA I ESREVER YGOLOHCYSP THGIR UOY NO .WON
of 1 votes, 0% like it
Go Play With a Child's Toy: You Might Learn Something You Missed
of 31 votes, 10% like it
Go To Hell. That's Not An Insult, It's A Travel Suggestion.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
God Smites Those That Taunt Jesus By Yelling "Who's Your Dad
of 3 votes, 33% like it
Godliness Smells Like Lemon-Scented Cleaning Products.
of 49 votes, 35% like it
Going In a Drive-Thru Causes Structural Damage.
of 43 votes, 9% like it
Going On a Power Trip Is Not a Source of Alternative Energy.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
Going On Holiday Sounds Way More Fun Than Taking A Vacation.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Going To Prison For Illegally Downloading Bananarama
of 86 votes, 16% like it
Golden Geese Keep Their Money Tied Up In Nest Eggs.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Good Music: I Like That Sound Of That.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Gosh Darn Censorship Can Kiss My Tail Feathers!
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Grammar Is Still Hanging On To The Belief Of A Present-Perfect.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
Gravity Is Holding Me Back From Reaching The Stars.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
Gravity Is Just A Plot To Keep Us Buying Airplane Tickets.
of 16 votes, 31% like it
Gravity is the First Sign of a Needy Planet
of 220 votes, 34% like it
Gravity Might Make You Fall, But It Also Makes Roller Coasters.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Gravity Spoils All Our Fun By Yelling At Us To Keep It Down!
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Greater Than > Less Than
of 31 votes, 13% like it
Greater Than > Less Than
of 53 votes, 15% like it
Grenades Are Just Bursting With Flying Shrapnels of Love.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
Guitars Are Always Willing To Hear Loud Feedback.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
Gum Is Tired Of Being Chewed Up And Carelessly Spit Out.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
Guns Don't Kill People, Robots With Bazookas Attached To Them Do
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Guns Don't Kill People, They Give Birth To Violent Bullet Babies.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
Gymnists Tell Jokes Through Hand Stand-Up Comedy.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
Ha Ha Ha! I Heard You're Made of Molecules!
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Haha, You've Just Been Caught In My Booby Trap.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
Hair Stylists Dye For Your Sins.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Hammers And Drumsticks Must Get Headaches All The Time.
of 41 votes, 22% like it
Happy Endings: Beloved In Fairy Tales And Massage Parlors Alike.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
Hate Is a Strong Word, That's Why I Use It To Lift Heavy Things.
of 47 votes, 38% like it
Have a Great Day, Cause the Vampires Will Be Out in Force Soon.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
Have a Happy Whatever the Hell Scientoligists Celebrate!
of 75 votes, 25% like it
Have Any Water? I Gotta Drown Out These Voices Pronto.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
Have U Hugged a Zombie Today? Well, That's Probably a Good Thing.
of 47 votes, 21% like it
Have Violent Sex, Not War
of 45 votes, 18% like it
Have You Seen Any Screws Lying Around? One Of Mine Came Loose.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
He Who Casts The First Stone Is Probably Making A Bad Movie.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Headbanging Is Your Body's Way Of Voting 'YES' To Good Music.
of 45 votes, 31% like it
Health Care Companies Should Be Re-Named Health Who Cares?
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Help! A Shadowy Figure On The Ground Keeps Following Me!
of 26 votes, 31% like it
HELP! Have You Seen The Panic Button?!?! I Can't Find It!!
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Help! My Shirt Has A Severe Letter Infestation!
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Hey Guess What? You’re Waiting To Hear What A Shirt Has To Say.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Hey Math- If You've Got A Problem,Yo I'll Solve It.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Hey Zombies, Isn't It About Time You Expanded Your Menu?
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Hey, You Wanna Party? Cool, I'll Get The Balloons And Cake!
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Hi, I'm Satan's Assistant & I Dropped a Handbasket. Seen It?
of 19 votes, 5% like it
Hi, I'm the One Who Spams Your E-Mail Accounts 23 Hours a Day!
of 29 votes, 14% like it
Hi. I Don't Think I Know You. Do You Have Any Candy?
of 45 votes, 29% like it
Hibernation Is A Lazy Sunday Gone Insane.
of 27 votes, 4% like it
Hide And Seek Is Not As Fun To Play In The Desert.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
High Five > Fist Bump
of 26 votes, 8% like it
Hiking On A Warpath Is So Violent For My Feet.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Hippie Galaxies Are Way Far-Out.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
History Books From Long Ago Didn't Have Much To Write About Yet.
of 31 votes, 39% like it
History Repeats Only in the Summertime Between New Seasons.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
History Spends Too Much Time Thinking About The Past.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
Hollywood: The Town That Gossip Built.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Home Is Where The Heart Is. It's Also Known As My Ribcage.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
Horny Artistic People Are Pro Create.
of 10 votes, 0% like it
Horseplay Is The #1 Cause of Equine-Related Detentions.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Hot Coal Is For Amateurs After You've Been Walking On Sunshine.
of 37 votes, 19% like it
Hot Dogs Are Really Good At Having Frank Discussions.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
Hotels Get Revenge By Trashing Rock Star Houses.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
House Calls Are Really Hard To Imitate.
of 31 votes, 13% like it
How Am I Broke With Such a Wealth of Useless Information?
of 28 votes, 25% like it
How Am I So Broke With This Wealth of Useless Information?
of 35 votes, 23% like it
How Come No One Can Write a Good Thong Song Anymore?
of 38 votes, 11% like it
How Come No One in "24" Ever Goes to the Bathroom?
of 84 votes, 18% like it
How Come No One Walks On Their Sides On A Sidewalk?
of 22 votes, 18% like it
How Come Stores Sell Heads Of Lettuce But Not The Body?
of 17 votes, 18% like it
How Is Playing Simon Says and Being Someone's Slave Different?
of 34 votes, 29% like it
Hugging Is My Favorite Way To Stay In Touch With Friends.
of 64 votes, 27% like it
Human Innovation Is Moving Faster Than Human Evolution To Use It.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Humpty Dumpty Hates Winding Up With Egg On His Face.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I Admit Having Faults, Like Having Too Much Awesome.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
I Adopt Pennies That Are Abandoned In Convenience Store Trays.
of 51 votes, 16% like it
I Always Wait Until the Last Second To Plan For the Future.
of 249 votes, 39% like it
I Am a Fully Licensed Mind Defragmenter
of 35 votes, 17% like it
I Am A Trainer Of Training Wheels So That They Can Train Others.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
I Am Conducting Various Scientific Studies On How To Become Cool.
of 46 votes, 11% like it
I Am D.B. Cooper.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
I Am Literally Full of Magical Robots Right Now.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
I am moonwalking backwards right now
of 34 votes, 12% like it
I Am Not Immature, But Your Mother Is.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
I Am Not Immature, Your Mother Is.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
I Am One of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Collect Us All!
of 4 votes, 0% like it
I Am Really Dehydrated, So Pass Me Another Soda Please!
of 34 votes, 12% like it
I Am Really Just a CGI Creation.
of 49 votes, 12% like it
I Am Telepathically Making You See Words On This Shirt Right Now.
of 50 votes, 26% like it
I Am Your Suggested Daily Serving Size of Awesome.
of 47 votes, 23% like it
I Appreciate the Comedy Of Skyscrapers On So Many Levels.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
I Attended The Peace Treaty Signing That Ended The Thumb Wars.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
I Attended The Peace Treaty Signing That Endeed The Thumb Wars.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
I Auditioned The Voices In My Head To Make Sure I Got The Best.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I Believe In Past Lives. I Used To Have One Before I Got Old.
of 43 votes, 21% like it
I Believe In Truth In Advertising. This Isn't A Very Funny Shirt.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
I Best Express How I Truly Feel About People Through Mixtapes.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
I Bet You Can't Say 'Toy Boat' Eight Times Fast.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I Bite Bed Bugs Back!
of 93 votes, 19% like it
I Blame Videogame Gorillas For The Oil Spill.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
I Brake For Objects That Will Break Me.
of 0 votes, 0% like it
I Brake For Oncoming Accidents.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
I Breathe A Lot Easier When I Know Oxygen Is Around.
of 39 votes, 28% like it
I Breathe A Sigh of Relief Whenever Oxygen Is Around.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
I Breathe a Whole Lot Easier When I Know Oxygen is Around.
of 55 votes, 20% like it
I Broke A Witch's Curse. It Shattered All Over So I Had To Buy It
of 38 votes, 16% like it
I Broke My Arm After Someone Threw Their Old Cast At Me.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
I Broke The Law Of Gravity And Was Arrested By The Sky Police.
of 33 votes, 12% like it
I Built A Time Machine, But All It Does Is Blink Midnight.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
I Buried All The Skeletons In My Closet Out In The Desert.
of 59 votes, 14% like it
I Buy People Rounds Of Applause At Bars.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I Called Dibs On All Cookies As A Child, So Give 'Em Up!
of 27 votes, 11% like it
I Called Off The Search, But My Browser Went On Without Me.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
I Came Up With a Great Excuse, But My Dog Ate It.
of 45 votes, 27% like it
I Can Chew Gum AND Wear This Shirt At The Same Time.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
I Can Get Tounge-Tied In Fifty Different Knots!
of 28 votes, 14% like it
I Can Multitask Up To Two Things At Once!
of 27 votes, 19% like it
I Can Never Get My Anarchy Club Meetings To Come To Order.
of 32 votes, 38% like it
I Can Only Multitask One Thing at a Time.
of 37 votes, 22% like it
I Can Only Say Words Up To Two Sylla- Long.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
I can predict the future: you're gonna be mad after reading this
of 26 votes, 8% like it
I Can Read Lips, But Nobody Has a Tattoo of a Novel.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
I Can See The Lips Moving In Your Mind As You Silently Read This.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
I Can Talk To Topical Cream About A Variety Of Subjects.
of 36 votes, 6% like it
I Can Talk To You Now That I'm Up-To-Date On Anti-Cootie Shots.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
I Can Walk and Spew Glum At the Same Time.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
I Can't Believe I Bought A Shirt That Says This On It.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
I Can't Decide If I'm Apathetic Or Just Plain Lazy.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
I Can't Even Remember the Last Time I Forgot Something Important.
of 48 votes, 13% like it
I Can't Find The State Of The Arts On A Map.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
I Can't Hear You: I'm On an iPod Adventure Right Now.
of 100 votes, 18% like it
I Can't Program My Time Machine, It Just Keeps Blinking Midnight!
of 31 votes, 23% like it
I Can't Read. Good thing I'm the One Wearing This Shirt!
of 1 votes, 0% like it
I Can't Read. Good Thing I'm the One Wearing This Shirt!
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I Can't Speak For My Wearer, But This Shirt is Really Cool.
of 41 votes, 22% like it
I Can't Tell Time, He's Horrible At Keeping A Secret.
of 53 votes, 38% like it
I Can't Wait To Come Back As A Zombie After I Die.
of 32 votes, 34% like it
I Can't Wait Until a Flying Car Lands On My Head In The Future!
of 36 votes, 25% like it
I Can’t Believe I Bought A Shirt That Says This On It.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
I Carry Around An Umbrella In Case Of Falling Anvils.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I Challenge Everyone To Be Less Competitive With One Another.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
I Choose To Be a Beggar.
of 32 votes, 13% like it
I Choose to Be a Begger.
of 47 votes, 15% like it
I Choose To Suppress My Inner Soccer Mom.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
I Come From Several Generations Of Jellybean Farmers.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
I Come From the Future To Tell You...We Still Wear Clever Shirts.
of 530 votes, 38% like it
I Come in Holiday Fun Size Portions
of 46 votes, 17% like it
I Conserve Energy By Driving Without Headlights On At Night.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
I Could Be An Olympic Athlete If Pen Clicking Was A Sport.
of 62 votes, 37% like it
I Could Never Be a Server Because I Don't Take Orders Well.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I Could Read Your Mind Easier If I Wasn't Illiterate.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
I Could Talk All Day About How Introverted I Am.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I Counted To Infinity And Reached The End.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
I Create, Therefore I’m Miserable
of 36 votes, 17% like it
I Cut a Hole Around You, But the World Collapsed Instead.
of 88 votes, 17% like it
I Dare You To Not Accept Pointless Challenges.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
I Deal With My Road Rage By Walking Around & Punching Folks.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
I Deserve More Credit, Mostly Because I Maxxed Out My Limit.
of 26 votes, 8% like it
I Developed A Fear Of Flying After Being Stung By A Bee.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
I Developed A Fear Of Flying After Getting Stung By A Bee.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
I Developed A Fear Of Flying Moments After I Jumped Off A Cliff.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I Did A Cannonball Off A Pirate Ship's Diving Board Once.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
I Didn't Follow My Friends Jumping Off a Cliff. Wanna Hang Out?
of 33 votes, 18% like it
I Didn't Just Trip On the Sidewalk, I Was Throwing Myself At You.
of 45 votes, 16% like it
I Didn't Mean To Get Your Attention With This Shirt. Whoops!
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I Didn’t Read Your Mind, I Just Skimmed The Best Parts.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
I Dig You Like a Grave Robber.
of 40 votes, 25% like it
I Dine at the Table of Contents.
of 44 votes, 25% like it
I Do Not Believe In Using Punctuation Period
of 31 votes, 26% like it
I Don't Agree With The Definition Of 'Contradiction'.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
I Don't Believe In Fairy Tales, I Just Like Kissing Frogs.
of 44 votes, 39% like it
I Don't Drink Shirts, It's Never Been My Cup Of Tee.
of 33 votes, 15% like it
I Don't Engage In Class Warfare Because I Have None.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
I Don't Gamble With My Money, Just My Life.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
I Don't Get Carried Away, I'm Usually Thrown Out.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I Don't Get Lost, I'm Just Exploring For New Land.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
I Don't Have a Drug Problem Because My Talking Sofa Told Me So.
of 48 votes, 13% like it
I Don't Have a Fear of Flying, It's the Landing Part That Gets Me
of 39 votes, 18% like it
I Don't Have A Funny Bone, All Of Them Are Pretty Hilarious.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I Don't Have a Pony, But I Do Own a Three-Headed Unicorn.
of 40 votes, 20% like it
I Don't Have Enough Cash to Pay You Any Mind Right Now.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
I Don't Just Kick Out The Jams, I Exile Them!
of 14 votes, 21% like it
I Don't Kill With Kindness, I Poison With Pleasantry.
of 51 votes, 39% like it
I Don't Know Where I Put The Lost & Found. Have You Seen It?
of 38 votes, 21% like it
I Don't Know Where The Lost & Found Went. Have You Seen It?
of 28 votes, 36% like it
I Don't Like Guns But I Love Wearing Tank Tops.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
I Don't Like To Poke Fun. It Usually Gets Really Angry.
of 38 votes, 34% like it
I Don't Make The Rules, I Just Break 'Em.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
I Don't Ride On Bullet Trains Because I'm A Pacifist.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
I Don't Run With Scissors, But I Do Skydive With Them.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
I Don't See Eye To Eye With People Taller Or Shorter Than Me.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I Don't Steal, I Pay Homage.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
I Don't Take Life Seriously, Except When I'm Having Fun.
of 14 votes, 21% like it
I Don't Trust Newly Married Brides Who Spread Old Wives Tales.
of 44 votes, 11% like it
I Don't Trust People Who Have Never Had Their Heart Broken.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I Don't Use My Words. I Just Get Them To Say what I Want.
of 28 votes, 36% like it
I Don't Use MySpace, I Just Make Friends the Old Fashioned Way
of 50 votes, 18% like it
I Don't Wanna Kill the President, Just Beat Some Sense Into Him.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I Don’t Fight Crime As Much As Give It The Middle Finger.
of 31 votes, 23% like it
I Don’t Gamble With Money, Just My Life.
of 52 votes, 15% like it
I Don’t Like Wasting People’s Time, But My T-Shirt Does.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
I Don’t Need Explosives To Blow Your Mind.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
I Draw Temp Tattoos On My Hands Teachers Consider 'Exam Cheating'
of 13 votes, 8% like it
I dream in technicolor, but in them I'm always colorblind.
of 30 votes, 7% like it
I Dreamed About Having An Active imagination Once.
of 8 votes, 25% like it
I Dreamt About Having An Active Imagination Once.
of 40 votes, 10% like it
I Dress To Depress
of 38 votes, 18% like it
I Drew 65 Pictures An Hour, So I Lost My Artistic License.
of 36 votes, 17% like it
I Drew 65 Pictures Per Hour, So I Lost My Artistic License.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
I Eat Candy Corn To Fulfill My Daily Vegetable Requirements.
of 23 votes, 35% like it
I Eat Cereal Killers For Breakfast.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
I Enjoy Hearing Myths, Legends, Yarns and Tall Tales.
of 32 votes, 9% like it
I Enjoy Learning Things, I Just Don't Like Doing It In a School.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I Enjoy Wrinkling Up Clothes On My Irony Board.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
I Enjoy Wrinkling Up My Clothes On An Irony Board.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
I Entertained The Notion Because It Looked So Bored.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I Envy Anyone Who Avoids the Seven Deadly Sins More Than I Do.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
I Even Do Half-Assed At A Quarter-Ass.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
I Exceed the Daily Recommended Personality Serving Size.
of 43 votes, 9% like it
I Excel At Cooking Cereal And Peanut Butter & Jelly.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
I Exercise By Letting My Imagination Run Wild.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I Exercise By Sleepwalking Up The Down Escalator.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I Experimented Quite A Lot In College Science Classes.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
I Fall Asleep By Tripping Over My Bed.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
I Fear The Day When There's Nothing Left For Me To Be Afraid Of.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
I Feed My Computer Chicken Soup When It Gets a Virus.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
I Feel Like You're Cross Dressing Me With Your Eyes
of 38 votes, 8% like it
I Feel So Bad About Taking That Cross-Country Guilt Trip.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
I Feel Such Pain For Voodoo Dolls That Look Like Me.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
I Fell Asleep After Tripping On All These zzzzzz’s.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
I Fell Down A Rabbit Hole And Ended Up In This Strange World.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I Fight Fire With Flame-Retardant Boxing Gloves.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I Figured This Was More Subtle Than a Spinning Bowtie.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
I Finally Passed the Test of the Emergency Broadcast System!
of 58 votes, 31% like it
I Find Classical Music Sounds Best During Old-School Cartoons.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
I Find It So Galvanizing When People Misuse Words.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
I Find Whatever Floats My Boat is Usually Water.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
I Fished This Shirt Out of a River At the Boston Tee Party.
of 46 votes, 11% like it
I Forget The Meaning Of Ironic. That's Pretty Darned Ironic, Eh?
of 40 votes, 35% like it
I Fought the Law in a Boxing Match, and I Won.
of 30 votes, 13% like it
I Fought The Law Of Gravity, And The Law Won.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
I Found The Key To Success When I Picked A Rich Guy's Pocket.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
I Found the Perfect Match, But Then I Let It Burn.
of 53 votes, 26% like it
I Gave Piece A Chance. And Then I Ate It.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
I Get All Nostalgic When I Think About the Summer of 2016.
of 38 votes, 13% like it
I Get Nightmares Out of the Way In the Day So They Scare Me Less.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
I Got A Sore Throat From Throwing My Voice Into A Brick Wall.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
I Got an "A" Minor On My Music Exam!
of 44 votes, 7% like it
I Got Mugged By A Childhood Bully While Strolling Down Memory Ln.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I Got Mugged When Strolling Down Memory Lane.
of 28 votes, 39% like it
I Got These Rope Burns From Playing Real-Life Hangman Once.
of 46 votes, 37% like it
I Got This From a Second-Hand Slogan Shop
of 34 votes, 9% like it
I Graduated Best Of Five Million From The Exaggeration Academy.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I Graduated With a 4.0 Average From Saint Lying University.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
I Grew Up On The Rough Side Of The Internet.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
I Grew Up Poor On The Rough Side Of The Internet.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
I Had A Good Excuse For Being Late, But My Dog At It.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
I Had A Shaman Cure Me Of All My Superstitions.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
I Had Something To Say, But My Speech Bubble Floated Away.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
I Had That Dream Where You Were Looking At My T-Shirt Again.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
I Had the Last Teddybear Stuffed That I Hunted For Sport.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
I Hate It When I Get Freezer Burn on My Brain.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I Have a Black Belt In Stealing Karate Master's Black Belts.
of 70 votes, 39% like it
I Have a Chest to be Treasured, With Golden Booty to Match
of 36 votes, 8% like it
I Have A Curious Mind Housed In A Very Lazy Body.
of 27 votes, 30% like it
I Have a Double Chin For Backup Purposes In Case I Lose One.
of 71 votes, 37% like it
I Have a Fear of Flying... While Not Being in a Plane.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
I Have a Fear Of Not Having Something To Worry About.
of 47 votes, 30% like it
I Have a Fear of Zombies With Chicken Pox.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
I Have A Food Allergy To Peanut Galleries.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
I Have A Great Home Theater Setup, Now I Just Need Some Actors.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I Have A Great Sense Of Direction But I Don't Know Where I Put It
of 31 votes, 39% like it
I Have A Hard Time Thinking Outside The Pizza Box.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
I Have A Monopoly On My Love Of Board Games.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
I Have A Part-Time Job As A Jedi Sword Swallower.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
I Have A Pet Peeve, But It Doesn't Bother Me As Much If I Walk It
of 28 votes, 29% like it
I Have a Problem With My Mansion. Apparently, I Don't Have One.
of 3 votes, 67% like it
I Have a Sixth Sense of Humor.
of 39 votes, 21% like it
I Have An Ass That Won't Quit. So I Fired It.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
I Have Compiled My Top 10 Reasons Why Lists Are a Waste of Time.
of 51 votes, 18% like it
I Have Entire Closets Made of Skeleton Bones.
of 40 votes, 8% like it
I Have Eyes In The Back Of My Head, But Fake Ones On The Front.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
I Have Friends, They're Just All Ninjas So You Can't See Them.
of 91 votes, 36% like it
I Have Millions Of Dollars. Sadly It's All In Boardgame Money.
of 30 votes, 20% like it
I Have Never Made A Bad Fish Pun On Porpoise.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
I Have Original Sin & 2nd Edition Sin in Their Mint Packaging
of 53 votes, 17% like it
I Have Placed Traps Around the Perimeter To Recapture My Youth.
of 59 votes, 24% like it
I Have Solved the Equation That Proves Mathematics Doesn't Work!
of 46 votes, 15% like it
I Have Some Food For Thought. Whoever Makes Me Think Gets It.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
I Have Strong Feelings Towards Apathy And Irony.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
I Have the Patience of a Man That Hunts Ninja For Sport.
of 6 votes, 0% like it
I Have the Voice of An Angel (with severe laryngitis)
of 32 votes, 0% like it
I Haven't Exaggerated In Like A Million Years.
of 141 votes, 71% like it
I Haven't Used A Secret Code Since The Crow Flew At Midnight.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
I Hear Voices, But They Only Tell Me To Do Really Boring Stuff.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
I Heard Hell is This Year's Hottest Afterlife Destination.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
I Heard Medicine Balls Cure Any Illness If You Swallow One.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
I Heard Mr. Sandman Was Fired For Sleeping On The Job.
of 13 votes, 31% like it
I Heard Some Onomatopoeias Formed a Band Called WHAM!
of 47 votes, 17% like it
I Heard You Get 100 Free Lives if You Jump Into That Pit of Lava
of 51 votes, 10% like it
I Heart Faceless Corporations
of 37 votes, 11% like it
I Hunt Teddy Bears For Sport And Then Stuff Them For Children.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
I Interview All Aspiring Wizards On My Spell Casting Couch.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
I Invented a Ray That Turns Monopoly Money Into the Real Thing!
of 6 votes, 17% like it
I Invented a Time Machine, But Only To Set Up Practical Jokes
of 31 votes, 10% like it
I Invented Oxygen. Internet Encyclopedias Don't Lie.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
I Just Can't Seem To Grasp Why Ignorance Equals Bliss.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
I Just Completed My Slogan 365 Project By Submitting This!
of 26 votes, 23% like it
I Just Feel So Naked When I Don't Have Any Clothes On.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I Just Found Two Identical Snowflakes, But I Got Thirsty.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
I Just Gave You A Mind-Five.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
I Just Had A Sudden Change Of Heart. Do You Want My Old One?
of 20 votes, 40% like it
I Just Moved Into The 9th Floor Penthouse Of Cloud Apartments.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
I Just Saved The World From Certain Doom. What Are You Up To?
of 30 votes, 33% like it
I Just Teleported Here And Boy Are My DNA Strands Tired!
of 22 votes, 14% like it
I Just Thought Of The Best Joke Ever. I Wish It Was On My Shirt.
of 58 votes, 36% like it
I Just Totally Had Sex With a Rainbow.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
I Keep All the World's Missing Puzzle Pieces in My Pockets.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
I Keep Catching Sewer Rats But They Won't Teach Me Karate!
of 113 votes, 37% like it
I Killed Time And Now All The Clocks Are On A Manhunt For Me!
of 24 votes, 8% like it
I Know How Fast Light Speed Travels, But What About In The Dark?
of 32 votes, 19% like it
I Know How To Work Out My Problems, I'm Just Too Lazy To Exercise
of 30 votes, 30% like it
I Know Pretty Much Everything. Except What You're About To Ask Me
of 21 votes, 29% like it
I Know The Answer To Everything. Except What You're About To Ask.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
I Know What Your Mom Told You, But I Just Like Sharing Candy.
of 7 votes, 43% like it
I Laugh In The Face Of Danger. And Then Run Away Screaming.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
I Learn Something New Each Day. It's What I Forgot The Day Before
of 78 votes, 38% like it
I Learned All My Life Lessons From Creepy Church Billboards.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
I Learned Lots of Life's Harshest Lessons Watching Them on TV.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
I Learned My ABC's From A Dead English Teach On A Ouija Board.
of 7 votes, 43% like it
I Learned My ABC's From A Dead English Teacher On A Ouija Board.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
I Learned My ABC's From A Ouija Board.
of 49 votes, 16% like it
I Like To Pick Up Strangers In Bars. If They Fall, That Is.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
I Liked GPS Systems Better When They Were Called Treasure Maps.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
I Liked Reality Shows Better When They Were Documentaries.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
I Live on the Bleeding Edge So Much That I've Installed Padding.
of 48 votes, 8% like it
I Lived in a House of Cards Until a Slight Breeze Destroyed It.
of 49 votes, 35% like it
I Look Thinner When I Travel At The Speed Of Light.
of 29 votes, 38% like it
I Lost A 'Missing Dog' Sign Around Here. Have You Seen It?
of 4 votes, 25% like it
I Lost My 'Missing Dog' Sign Around Here. Have You Seen It?
of 27 votes, 11% like it
I Lost My Words Around Here. Can You Help Me Find Them?
of 29 votes, 10% like it
I Lost The Keys To My Imagination. Now I Can't Start My Unicorn.
of 142 votes, 60% like it
I Love 80's Movies Without Irony Or Guilt.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
I Love Descriptions. They're Really, Um, Neato.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I Love Life More Than Life Itself.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
I Love Oxygen So Much I Can't Breathe Without It In My Life.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
I Love Oxygen So Much I Can't Imagine Living Without It.
of 45 votes, 29% like it
I Love Reading Adaptations of Movies That Were Based On Books.
of 47 votes, 32% like it
I Love Surprises, But You'll Hate the Hammer Hit to the Head.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
I Love Teamwork, As Long As I'm The Leader.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
I Love Telling Knock-Knock Jokes. Okay, You Start...
of 34 votes, 18% like it
I Love That There's An Amendment For the Right To Have Bear Arms.
of 44 votes, 25% like it
I Love To Exercise, If People-Watching Is Considered Exercise.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
I Love To Swap Jokes, But Don't Try Anything Funny.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
I Love When My Bowling Ball Goes On Strike.
of 66 votes, 36% like it
I Made a Side Deal With the Devil Involving Future Draft Picks.
of 47 votes, 9% like it
I Make My Own Luck, But It's Usually By Accident.
of 51 votes, 24% like it
I March To The Beat Of A Speed Metal Drummer.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
I Might Be A Nerd, But At Least I'm The Coolest Nerd.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
I Might Be A Nerd, But I'm The Coolest One.
of 29 votes, 28% like it
I Might Not Make Sense, But At Least I'm Not Made Of Wax Candy.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
I Must Be Worth A Fortune Since I'm In My Original Packaging.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
I Narrowly Escaped A Unicorn Stampede While Visiting Fantasy Land
of 23 votes, 22% like it
I Need An Incredible Tale To Tell at Parties. Let's Go Make One.
of 37 votes, 14% like it
I Need To Take My Crazy Pills! I Can't Be Crazy Without Them!
of 21 votes, 24% like it
I Need Words on a Shirt 4 U to Stare, Whereas Women Have Cleavage
of 52 votes, 23% like it
I Never Contradict Myself, But I Do Conflict With What I Say.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
I Never Fade Into the Sunset. I Use Star Wipes.
of 44 votes, 9% like it
I Never Found Buttons That Cute To Begin With.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
I Never Jump To Conclusions. It's More Fun To Play Hopscotch.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I Never Use A Compass Because I Don't Take Direction Well.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
I Often Go To Jail For Stealing The Show.
of 46 votes, 28% like it
I Once Told A Risky Joke And Broke My Funny Bone In Three Places.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
I Only Hop On Bugs Because I Hope Gold Coins Will Come Out.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
I Only Play a Homosexual When I'm in My Bedroom Closet
of 6 votes, 0% like it
I Only Speak One Language But I Kiss In Many Others.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
I Only Started That Crime Spree Because It's Nice To Be Wanted.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
I Only Try To Get Brownie Points Because I Really Love Chocolate.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
I Own A Kids Watch That Tells Time At A 12th Grade Level.
of 26 votes, 4% like it
I Park at Green Lights To Get the Techno Honking Party Started.
of 44 votes, 16% like it
I Pass Funny Money Off To Get Into Comedy Clubs
of 2 votes, 0% like it
I Perform All My High-Speed Chases In Super Slo-Mo.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
I Placate Constantly. Thanks For Taking the Time to Read This.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
I Play a Killer "Stairway to Heaven" on Kazoo
of 31 votes, 10% like it
I Play An Instrument, It’s Called A Warp Whistle.
of 31 votes, 3% like it
I Play Bombardment With Cannonballs.
of 11 votes, 18% like it
I Practice Levitation By Keeping All the Planets in the Air.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
I Practice My Atheist Beliefs Very Religiously.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
I Practice Self-Preservation When I Turn Myself Into Jelly.
of 41 votes, 15% like it
I Pray Everyday For the End of Religion.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
I Pretend I'm a Jedi & Wave My Hand Through Automatic Doors.
of 66 votes, 35% like it
I Promised I Wouldn't Verbally Abuse Anyone Today, SO SHUT UP!
of 44 votes, 16% like it
I Punch Zebras in My Spare Time.
of 37 votes, 22% like it
I Put On A Smiley Face. People Got Scared Of My Big Yellow Head.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
I Put the 'Original' in 'Originalityism'.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
I Put The 'Z' In Abstract.
of 29 votes, 31% like it
I Put TNT in My Closet To Prepare For the Monster Invasion.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
I Quickly Go From Happy To Mad If I Fall Off The Mood Swings.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
I Rarely Time Travel Because The Special Effects Are So Cheesy.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
I Read Ten Books A Day, If You Count Pop-Up, Match and Comic.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
I Really Don't Like Unhealthy Foods. I Just Love Their Tastes.
of 34 votes, 12% like it
I Really Hate Food, But I Just Love Tastes.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
I Really Hope I Never Forget How To Breathe.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
I Really Miss My Sandbox Universe
of 44 votes, 7% like it
I Really Wish You Hadn't Read This.
of 12 votes, 17% like it
I Recycle By Giving People My Old Bikes.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
I Run An Existential Crisis Hotline For Philosophy Students.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
I Said I Had a SENSE of Humor, Not Actual Humor.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
I Saw A Sign Of The Apocolypse, But It Only Told Me To Merge.
of 12 votes, 8% like it
I Scared The Hell Out Of The Devil Once.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
I Scuba Dive For Sunken Treasure In Wishing Wells.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I See No Point In Sports, Which Is How Many Points I Often Score.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I See That Eyes Are The New Look This Year.
of 29 votes, 10% like it
I See The Glass As Half-About-To-Be-Drank.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
I Sharpened The Tools In My Shed And Feel Smarter Already!
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I Shot the Sheriff, But I Did Not Shoot the Kennedys.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
I Should Probably Disclose That My Toes Are Crossed Right Now.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
I Show My Respect For President's Day By Drinking The Most Beer.
of 44 votes, 30% like it
I Sky-Wrote A Novel Once, But A Hurricane Destroyed All My Work.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
I Sleep In A Circus Tent On Camping Trips.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
I Sleep Soundly By Snoring All Night Long.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
I Sleepwalk During The Day And While I'm Awake.
of 19 votes, 32% like it
I Slept My Way To The Top Of The Bunk Bed.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I Sometimes Hang Out In Graveyards To Look Younger.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
I Sometimes Retrace My Steps To Improve My Drawing Skills.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
I Speak Dozens Of Languages. Too Bad I Made All Of Them Up.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I Speak T-Shirt Quite Fluently.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
I Spelunk Into Black Holes and Time Warps When I'm Bored.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
I Sprained My Tongue When I Turned A Phrase Too Quickly.
of 37 votes, 16% like it
I Stay Up Late Because I Heard You Can Get Drunk Off Moonshine.
of 28 votes, 11% like it
I Stepped On a Crack, and Now My Mom Can't Walk For a Month.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
I Still Play With Toys Meant For Children
of 69 votes, 17% like it
I Stole a Guitar to Play in a Videogame Group Called Contra Band.
of 38 votes, 11% like it
I Store Corrupted Viruses in a Heavily Guarded Data Base.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
I Struck Lightning Once, But It Struck Me Back And Won The Fight.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
I Suppose YOUR SHIRT Could Think Up a Better Slogan?
of 40 votes, 13% like it
I Suspect Fishing Wire Holds the Planets Up In Outer Space.
of 39 votes, 36% like it
I Suspect Little Gnomes Make Our Mouths Move Up and Down.
of 41 votes, 20% like it
I Swam In Radioactive Waste And All I Got Was This Lousy 5th Eye.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
I Swear I Saw Bigfoot Riding A Unicorn The Other Day.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
I Take Flights of Fancy Whenever I Find a Cheap Enough Ticket.
of 235 votes, 36% like it
I Talk So Much My T-Shirt Won't Even Shut The Hell Up.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
I Teach My Grapes To Respect Their Raisin Elders.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
I Tend To Around Things Switch Every While in a Once.
of 35 votes, 26% like it
I Tend To Crash Parties in a Car With Good Airbags.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
I Think Cotton Candy Is Grown In A Giant Circus Tent.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I Think I Might Have ADDee De Deee Deee De De....
of 41 votes, 17% like it
I Think I Put My Brain On Inside-Out Today.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
I Think I Took a Wrong Turn Into Reality a Few Miles Back.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
I Think I'm Getting a Stomach Ache in My Brain
of 40 votes, 18% like it
I Think Lawyers Have Too Much Power. Sue Me.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I Think My Jump Rope Is Broken. It Hasn't Jumped Once.
of 35 votes, 34% like it
I Think My Paranoia is Out To Get Me!
of 37 votes, 19% like it
I THINK SUBTLETY IS THE BEST WAY TO GET A POINT ACROSS.
of 41 votes, 22% like it
I Think the Sun is Having A Late-Night Affair With My Shadow!
of 34 votes, 18% like it
I Thought An Instigator Was a Mischievous Crocodile.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
I Thought Of a Great Excuse Today, But My Dog Ate It.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
I Thought Recycling Was Traveling Through Time On A Bike.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
I Thought the Planet Was Finally Warming Up To Us.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
I Time Travel But I've Settled Here For Now. You'll See Why Soon.
of 36 votes, 36% like it
I Tip My Invisible Top Hat In Your Direction
of 19 votes, 26% like it
I Tip the Scales. It's Only Polite After You Stand on Them.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
I Tip Waiters And Cows Equal Amounts.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
I Took Acting Classes For Many Years So I Could Perform Surgery.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I Took The Skeletons In My Closet And Buried Them In The Desert.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
I Took This Shirt Off One Of The Skeletons In My Closet.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
I Totally Got the Better of the Deal With the Devil I Just Signed
of 36 votes, 8% like it
I Traded My Tickets To The Gun Show For An All-You-Can-Eat Buffet
of 32 votes, 25% like it
I Trademarked the Call of the Wild.
of 26 votes, 8% like it
I Travel at Light Speed When I'm On a Diet.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
I Travel By Clown Car To Cut Down On Pollution.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
I Tried To Bring My 'A' Game, But All I Could Muster Was 'ZZZ'.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
I Tried To Get A Life Transplant, But It Didn’t Take.
of 33 votes, 6% like it
I Tried To Take A Sleeping Pill But Couldn't Wake It Up.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I Try Not Gamble, Except With My Life.
of 1 votes, 0% like it
I Try Not To Gamble, Except With My Life.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
I Try To Act My Inner-Child’s Age.
of 58 votes, 19% like it
I Use the North Pole When I Have Jousting Competitions.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
I Used To Be On Edge About My Grammar, But Now I'm Past Tense.
of 58 votes, 22% like it
I Used to Be Uptight About My Grammar, But Now I'm Past Tense.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
I Used to Have a Logo Here, But My Shirt Kicked Its Ass.
of 47 votes, 28% like it
I Violate FBI Warnings on DVDs
of 46 votes, 17% like it
I Wanna Be Board Game Banker So I Can Be Bailed-Out If I Go Broke
of 29 votes, 17% like it
I Want To Be A City-Destroying Monster When I Grow Up.
of 59 votes, 36% like it
I Wanted To Be A Cotton Candy Farmer When I Grew Up.
of 57 votes, 39% like it
I Wanted To Learn The Ten Commandments, So I Stole A Copy.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
I Wanted To Live In A Castle But I'll Settle For A Pillow Fort.
of 36 votes, 36% like it
I Was Drinking and Driving My Time Machine And I Woke Up Here.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
I Was Gonna Forget To Do Something, But I Forget What It Was.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I Was Once A Zombie, But Now I Only Have Occasional Flare-Ups.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
I Was Raised In A Barn. But I Had A Full House, So I Raised Back.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
I Was Recently Laid Off By A Firing Squad.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
I Was Saving Up For A Rainy Day, But It Must Raining Somewhere.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
I Was Seeing Red, But Broke It Off For A Relationship With Blue.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
I Was Seeing Red, But Broke It Off For A Relationship With Blue.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
I Wasn't Born Under A Bad Sign, Just Power Lines.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
I Wear This Shirt When I Lose My Voice. Can You Help Me Find It?
of 23 votes, 13% like it
I Went To College For Free on My Kickball Scholarship
of 3 votes, 0% like it
I Went To The Cliche Factory And All I Got Was This Lousy Shirt.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
I Will Be the Boredom Slayer When Life Starts Dragon
of 22 votes, 9% like it
I Will Be Your Friend For a Fruit Roll-Up
of 21 votes, 10% like it
I Will Become A Ghost Over My Dead Body.
of 47 votes, 19% like it
I Will Not Take The Chair Uprising Sitting Down!
of 23 votes, 9% like it
I Will Sell You This Shirt For One Hundred Dollars.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
I Wish a Baby Again So I Could Run Around Naked.
of 2 votes, 0% like it
I Wish Angry People Literally Tossed Their Cookies.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
I Wish Certain People Would Forget How to Breathe.
of 11 votes, 27% like it
I Wish Construction Cones Tasted Like Ice Cream.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
I Wish Everything in Life Was Candy-Coated.
of 39 votes, 13% like it
I Wish H2O Wasn't So Watered Down.
of 38 votes, 21% like it
I Wish I Could Live in My Dreams and Sleep in Reality.
of 36 votes, 25% like it
I Wish I Could See Spot Run After I Stain My T-Shirt.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
I Wish I Could Taste Food Just By Looking At It.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
I Wish I Had A Genie Lamp.
of 59 votes, 8% like it
I Wish I Had A Nickel For Every Time I Used That Expression.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
I Wish I Was a Baby Again So I Could Run Around Naked.
of 43 votes, 23% like it
I Wish It Snowed Cherry Water Ice.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I Wish MC Raven Evermore Would Stop Rapping At My Chamber Door.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
I Wish My Life Was As Fun As People In Impotence TV Ads.
of 29 votes, 24% like it
I Wish People Farted Laughing Gas.
of 54 votes, 22% like it
I Wish There Was A Way To Stop People From Staring At My Shirt.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
I Wish There Was Some Way To Get You To Stare At My Shirt.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I Wish They Made Clothes Out Of Fabric Softener Sheets.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I Woke Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed Today. Underneath it.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
I Won For Best Actor In an Akward Social Encounter!
of 46 votes, 20% like it
I Wonder If Clown College Is Next To The Police Academy.
of 37 votes, 24% like it
I Wonder if Rainbows Are Colorblind.
of 34 votes, 9% like it
I Wonder If Those Black Bars Ever Want Their Identity Concealed.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I Wonder If Zombies Think Brains Taste Like Chicken.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
I Wonder What ACRONYM Stands For?
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I Wonder What Dinosaurs Tasted Like.
of 372 votes, 32% like it
I Wonder What Happened To the Class Clown at the Ninja Academy?
of 47 votes, 21% like it
I Wonder What Taste Buds Taste Like.
of 31 votes, 32% like it
I Wore Some Ice To Be Like Rap Stars And All I Got Was Frostbite
of 25 votes, 16% like it
I Wore the Coolest Shirt Yesterday. I Swear.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
I Work Hard Every Day So I Have Money For Lottery Tickets.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
I Work Out With Tarzan At Jungle Gyms.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
I Work Out With Tarzan At Jungle Gyms.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
I Worry So Much Less Since Having My Nervous System Removed.
of 32 votes, 34% like it
I Wouldn't Be Caught Dead In An Ironic T-Shirt.
of 39 votes, 31% like it
I Wouldn't Say It's Ugly, But My Eyes Are Hanging Themselves.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
I Wouldn't Trade This Shirt For All the Tees in China.
of 44 votes, 18% like it
I Write Society's Wrongs.
of 69 votes, 19% like it
I Wunder If Catz Thynk We Tawk Like Thiz?
of 27 votes, 26% like it
I'd Be Lying If I Said I Lied A Lot.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
I'd Get Help For My Laziness, But I Don't Feel Like Doing It.
of 29 votes, 31% like it
I'd Have OCD If I Wasn't So Lazy.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
I'd Like Find A Better Job, But The Information Is Classified.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
I'd Like To Find A Better Job, But The Information Is Classified.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
I'd Like To Rename The Month Of April To 'Achoo'.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I'd Lose More Weight, But I Don't Deal Well With Loss.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I'd Lose My Head Less If I Could Install A Car Alarm Inside It.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
I'd Love To Go To The Moon, But I Have Cheese Allergies.
of 39 votes, 13% like it
I'd Pay For My Sins, But The Cash Machine Is Broken.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
I'd Rather Be Riding On The Back Of Loch Ness.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
I'd Rather Be Wearing Another T-Shirt.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
I'd Rather Have A Sock Monkey On My Back.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
I'd Read More Books If I Could Just Watch Them.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
I'd Say I'm A Person Of Few Words, But.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
I'll Be A Mental Sharp Shooter Once My Mind Is Re-Calibrated.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
I'll Be Re-Gifting This Shirt Very Shortly.
of 41 votes, 15% like it
I'll Bet A Million Dollars That I'm More Responsible Than You!
of 45 votes, 22% like it
I'll Never Forget All Those Crazy Times That I Can't Remember.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
I'll Show You An Easy Way To Make Money For Five Dollars.
of 30 votes, 30% like it
I'll Trade You My Favorite Thing For Your Favorite Thing.
of 37 votes, 19% like it
I'm 70% Bad With Numbers, and 40% Just Plain Lazy.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
I'm A Big Fan Of Cool Oscillating Air.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
I'm a Failed Science Fiction Writer: Have U Heard of My Religion?
of 48 votes, 6% like it
I'm a Good Listener Before I Blatantly Interrupt.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
I'm A Little Bit Awkweird.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I'm A Local Favorite Now, But Plan To Be World Famous Real Soon.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
I'm A Lover, Not A Fighter. Wait, Is There A Third Option?
of 23 votes, 22% like it
I'm A Low-Level Superhero Who Has The Power Of Suggestion.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
I'm a Member of the Polyphonic Spree. Hey, Prove I'm Not.
of 55 votes, 22% like it
I'm A Pretzel Chiropractor That Gets All Their Knots Out.
of 37 votes, 11% like it
I'm A Prsn Of Few Wrds, And Even Fewr Lettrs.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I'm A Real Smarty-Pants, But I Wish My Brain Would Follow Suit.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I'm a Time Traveler. You Wore Really Goofy Clothes As a Child.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
I'm a Vegetarian Between Bites of Hamburger & Sausage Links.
of 40 votes, 35% like it
I'm a Witty T-Shirt Regardless of a Funny Slogan or Not.
of 48 votes, 8% like it
I'm Actually A Shirt Ventriloquist. Can You See My Mouth Moving?
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I'm Actually Royalty. I Was Kinged In Checkers Once.
of 41 votes, 24% like it
I'm Actually the One Wearing This Human Being Right Now.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
I'm Afraid We Can't See Eye To Eye On Anything Right Now.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
I'm Allergic To Doors. My Face Puffs Up Whenever I Run Into Them
of 39 votes, 28% like it
I'm Allergic To Reality.
of 61 votes, 34% like it
I'm Allergic To Things That Make Me Die.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
I'm an Algorithm Away From Cracking the Code on Cool
of 189 votes, 26% like it
I'm An Excellent Conversationalist, Usually With Myself.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
I'm As Deep As A Kiddie Pool.
of 16 votes, 38% like it
I'm At a Loss For Words, But Luckily My Shirt Isn't.
of 49 votes, 33% like it
I'm Athletic If People-Watching is Considered a Sport.
of 39 votes, 33% like it
I'm Auditioning For A Drummer Who Rimshots After All My Jokes.
of 66 votes, 38% like it
I'm Casting My Shadow In A Movie About Ninjas.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
I'm Celebrating a Birthday From Five Years Ago Today!
of 17 votes, 24% like it
I'm Classier Than All Get-Out.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
I'm Collecting For the Godzilla City Reconstruction Project.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
I'm Dear Hunting For a Cutie To Fawn Over
of 44 votes, 9% like it
I'm Developing An Algorithm For Freezing Hell Over.
of 67 votes, 18% like it
I'm Drawn to Artists.
of 51 votes, 24% like it
I'm Exhausted From Patting Myself On The Back, Care To Take Over?
of 19 votes, 21% like it
I'm Finally Celebrating a Birthday From Five Years Ago Today!
of 23 votes, 9% like it
I'm Forever Teetering on the Edge Of Sanity Like a Sippy Cup.
of 43 votes, 16% like it
I'm Getting Deja Vu Of You Reading My Shirt Before.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I'm Glad I Don't Have To Look Fruit In The Eye When I Eat It.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
I'm Glad We're All In Agreement There's No Such Things As Facts.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
I'm Going To Procrastinate Right After This Nap.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
I'm Having a Great Idea. Someone Put a Lightbulb Above My Head!
of 52 votes, 17% like it
I'm Having Surgery To Extract A Song That Got Stuck In My Head.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
I'm Here To Say A Few Words About The Bible. Like "NO!"
of 35 votes, 14% like it
I'm High on Life (The Board Game, Not Actual Life).
of 47 votes, 26% like it
I'm High On Life! 'Life' Being A New Drug I'm Super Into.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
I'm in Quite the Zesty Mood Today.
of 47 votes, 36% like it
I'm Indifferent To Everything, And That Makes Me So Happy!
of 45 votes, 16% like it
I'm Into Religion For All The Sects.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
I'm Just a Product of UrImagination Co.
of 46 votes, 13% like it
I'm Just Full Of Bright Ideas ('Bright' in uv ink)
of 24 votes, 25% like it
I'm Just Trying To Break Your Concentration.
of 42 votes, 33% like it
I'm Just Waiting For Your Shirt To Make The First Move.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
I'm Kinda Like the Surprise Cameo at the End of an Awesome Movie.
of 35 votes, 9% like it
I'm Like A Poet Without All That Rhyming, Wit And Meaning.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
I'm Like a Travelling Circus in Human Form.
of 25 votes, 8% like it
I'm Like the Awesome Surprise Cameo at the End of a Dull Movie.
of 44 votes, 27% like it
I'm Living Out a "Choose Your Own Adventure" Story Right Now
of 342 votes, 33% like it
I'm Living Vicariously Through My Inner Child.
of 21 votes, 38% like it
I'm Lost, Can You Give Me Directions To The Nearest Warp Zone?
of 15 votes, 27% like it
I'm Made Out of the Stuff in the Pulp Fiction Briefcase.
of 45 votes, 7% like it
I'm More Fun Than An Example Of Something That's Really Fun!
of 28 votes, 25% like it
I'm My Kitten's Sponsor When It Goes To Catnip Anonymous.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
I'm Not A Kid, But I Play One On The Monkey Bars.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
I'm Not A Master Of Space & Time Yet, Just An Understudy.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
I'm Not A Master of Space and Time, Just An Understudy.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
I'm Not a Vampire, I Just Sleep All Day And Don't Like Garlic.
of 30 votes, 33% like it
I'm Not Afraid Of Death, Just What Comes After It.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
I'm Not Clumsy, I Just Do Spontaneous Dance Moves.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
I'm Not Here To Steal Your Kidneys, Just Your Heart.
of 32 votes, 44% like it
I'm Not Lazy, I'm A Conservationist.
of 37 votes, 32% like it
I'm Not Lazy, I'm Powering Myself Up For A Super Move.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
I'm Not OCD, I Just Really Like To Count Ceiling Tiles.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
I'm Not Out Of Style, I'm Just Prepared For A Surprise Time Warp.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
I'm Not Saying I'm The Coolest Person Alive, My Shirt Is.
of 33 votes, 15% like it
I'm Not Very Self-Centered, I'm More Right All The Time.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
I'm Part Of An Elite Ninja S.W.A.T. Team.
of 26 votes, 23% like it
I'm Part of That Conspiracy You Just KNOW To Be True.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
I'm Positive That I Love Negativity.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
I'm Pro Life. As In, I Need To Get One.
of 43 votes, 19% like it
I'm Really Good At Cooking Cereal And Peanut Butter & Jelly.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
I'm Really Hard On People Who Use Crass Innuendo.
of 31 votes, 29% like it
I'm Scared Of The Light Which Is Why I Stay Up All Night.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I'm Silently Judging You, And I Find You Guilty.
of 30 votes, 37% like it
I'm Slowly Losing My Mind. Luckily, I Got Lots To Go Around.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
I'm So Alert You'll Swear I've Got Eyes In The Front Of My Head.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
I'm So Awesome, Even My Shirt Says It.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
I'm So Classy Even My Glass Eye Wears A Monocle.
of 31 votes, 23% like it
I'm So Clumsy I Break People's Concentration All Day Long.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
I'm So Clumsy I Walk Into Ceilings
of 36 votes, 17% like it
I'm So Clumsy, When I Trip I Break Wind.
of 45 votes, 11% like it
I'm So Cool I Get Frostbite In The Middle Of Summer.
of 31 votes, 13% like it
I'm So Good At Doing Nothing I've Turned It Into An Art Form.
of 28 votes, 39% like it
I'm So Hot A Volcano Burnt Its Tongue On Me.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
I'm So Hungry I'm Imagining You As A Giant Drumstick.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
I'm So Ironic, I'm Wearing This Ironic Shirt Sincerely.
of 51 votes, 37% like it
I'm So Sensitive I Make Tears Cry.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
I'm So Sick of Germs.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
I'm So Underground I Eat Pizza With Deformed Karate Turtles.
of 55 votes, 24% like it
I'm so Vague All the Time Because the Devil's in the Details.
of 51 votes, 12% like it
I'm So Weird And Hyperactive Doctors Diagnosed Me With O.D.D.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
I'm Sorry To Tell You But I Never Apologize.
of 20 votes, 35% like it
I'm Sorry, But I Don't Apologize For Any Reason.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
I'm Sorry, What Did You Say? The Devil On My Shoulder Was Talking
of 28 votes, 32% like it
I'm Taking A Stand Against Sitting.
of 51 votes, 51% like it
I'm the Prince Who's E-Mailing You About the Nigerian Lottery.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
I'm Thinking About A Sex Change. I'd Like to Have More Of It.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
I'm Thinking About Kittens Playing Basketball, And Now So Are You
of 24 votes, 33% like it
I'm Thinking of a Number Between .01 and .02
of 26 votes, 19% like it
I'm Thinking of a Number Between One Zillion and Infinity...
of 34 votes, 24% like it
I'm Thirsty! Where's the Nearest Spittoon At?
of 8 votes, 25% like it
I'm Tired Of The Wind Always Pushing Me Around.
of 35 votes, 23% like it
I'm Trust-Worthy, But The Wire I'm Wearing is a Tattletale
of 48 votes, 17% like it
I'm Usually Broke After Spending The Day.
of 36 votes, 36% like it
I'm Usually Dressed More Classy, But My Monocle Is In The Shop.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
I'm Very Afraid Of Heights, So Only Tell Me One Story At A Time.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
I'm Very Fond Of (Fresh) Air. It Helps Me Breathe. (fresh in uv)
of 18 votes, 22% like it
I'm Very Tough. Don't Be Fooled By the Word 'Kitten' On My Shirt.
of 43 votes, 19% like it
I'm Wanted In 48 States. Luckily This Isn't One Of Them.
of 48 votes, 19% like it
I'm Wearing My Birthday Suit Underneath This Shirt.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
I'm Wearing This Tee Ironically.
of 46 votes, 28% like it
I'm with stupid (that's me, the shirt, talking)
of 32 votes, 3% like it
I'm With Stupid(ly awesome people)
of 24 votes, 25% like it
I'mtoxicated Right Now.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
I've Always Considered Myself An Extreme Imperfectionist.
of 39 votes, 31% like it
I've Been Accidentaly Dropping Money Around the Globe. Seen Any?
of 26 votes, 15% like it
I've Been Telling The Truth For All 75 Years Of My Life.
of 34 votes, 32% like it
I've Come Down With A Severe Case Of Awesome That I Can't Shake.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
I've Come From the Future To Say... Can I Borrow Ten Bucks?
of 10 votes, 10% like it
I've Converted All the Trees At My House To Run On Solar Power.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
I've Got A Huge Personality That Can Satisfy All Night Long.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
I've Got a Sharp Pin. Here, Let Me Deflate Your Ego a Bit.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
I've Got Eyes In The Back Of My Back. The Head Would Be Better.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
I've Got Mad Rapping Skills. I'm Mad Because I Can't Do It.
of 30 votes, 10% like it
I've Got More Issues Than A City Newsstand.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
I've Had Amnesia Ever Since I Was A Kid. Or Two Minutes Ago.
of 35 votes, 37% like it
I've Had It Up To Here With People Being Vague!
of 17 votes, 18% like it
I've Had Trouble Remembering What Year It Since 1782.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
I've Just Developed A Theory Which Proves I'm Not A Nerd.
of 175 votes, 69% like it
I've Killed 10 People in My Mind Today- Don't Make Me Again!
of 31 votes, 10% like it
I've Memorized The Entire Conversation We're About To Have.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
I've Never Seen A Hotcake, But I Hear They Sell Real Well.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
I've Never Seen A Mathematical Equation Proving Time is Money.
of 48 votes, 31% like it
I've Never Understood Why Pimps Love Gardening Tools So Much.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
I've Punched Bricks All My Life & A Gold Coin Never Pops Out!
of 38 votes, 13% like it
I've Punched Security Cameras For Looking At Me Funny.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
I've Recently Been Voted #1 In Making Up Accomplishments.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
I've Saved Up Millions Of Dollars, Sadly All In Boardgame Money.
of 0 votes, 0% like it
I've Saved Up Millions, Sadly It's All In Boardgame Money.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
I've Scrubbed and Scrubbed But My Mind Remains So Dirty
of 51 votes, 14% like it
I've Shot Horses That Weren't As Lame As You.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
iAyeCaptain
of 46 votes, 4% like it
Ice Cream Hates When You Scream At It.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
Ice Fishing Is Really Easy. You Can Just Pick It Up.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Ideas Are Such Self-Centered Thoughts.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
IDon'tKnowaphobia- The Fear of Having Green Slime Fall on You
of 62 votes, 6% like it
If a Guitar Murders a Song, You May Have To String It Up.
of 48 votes, 8% like it
If A Horse Talked It Would Give Itself A Sore Throat.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
If A Loud Speaker Feeds You, Do You Feedback?
of 18 votes, 11% like it
If A Tree Falls In The Woods and No One Blogs, Did It Happen?
of 43 votes, 26% like it
If A Virus Wants To Play Catch With You, Don't Be Fooled!
of 22 votes, 14% like it
If Cotton Candy and Candy Corn Counts, I Eat My Vegetables.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
If Driving Was A Game, The Object Would Be 'Don't Touch Anything'
of 51 votes, 12% like it
IF Everyone Had My Flawless Taste,There'd Be No One Left To Mock.
of 39 votes, 10% like it
If Everyone's An Egomaniac Now, Who's Gonna Pay Attention to Me?
of 37 votes, 11% like it
If Eyes Are The Window To The Soul, Is The Butt The Fire Escape?
of 4 votes, 50% like it
If Eyes Are Windows To The Soul, Is The Butt The Fire Escape?
of 57 votes, 28% like it
If I a Nickel For Every Time I Lost a Nickel, I'd Break Even.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
If I Am Wearing a Flying Raccoon Suit, You Must Be in a Videogame
of 38 votes, 13% like it
If I Bought A New Wallet I Wouldn't Have Anything To Put In It.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
If I Gave A Nickel Every Time People Said I Was Bad At Math...
of 20 votes, 30% like it
If I Get Five Thousand X-Rays, Will I Become a Superhero?
of 40 votes, 23% like it
If I Get One Thousand X-Rays, Will I Become a Superhero?
of 32 votes, 16% like it
If I Had A Clue, I’d Use It To Solve A Mystery.
of 53 votes, 13% like it
If I Had A Nickel For Every Time Someone Used This Cliche...
of 39 votes, 31% like it
If I Had A Nickel For Every Time This Cliché Was Used…
of 23 votes, 13% like it
If I Know Everything I Do is Wrong, Am I Always Right?
of 41 votes, 24% like it
If I Must Jump Through Hoops, I Prefer They Be Hula.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
If I Paid Attention More, I'd Be Even Broker Than I Already Am.
of 39 votes, 10% like it
If I Throw My Hands In The Air, How Do I Catch Them?
of 27 votes, 30% like it
If I Throw My Hands In The Air, How Will I Catch Them?
of 18 votes, 22% like it
If I Were A Bird, I Wouldn't Poop On Your Head.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
If I Were You I'd Pay Attention To My Shirt Too.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
If I'm Calm and Smiling, Be Very Very Afraid.
of 71 votes, 39% like it
If I'm Naked, It's A Nightmare. If You're Naked, It's My Fantasy.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
If I'm Standing Still, Please Touch To Unfreeze Me.
of 30 votes, 33% like it
If Ignorance = Bliss, I'd Like To See The Theorem Proving It.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
If Ignorance = Bliss, I'd Love To Read A Theorem Proving It.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
If Ignorance Is Bliss, Why Isn't The World A Happier Place?
of 22 votes, 18% like it
If It Walks And Talks Like A Duck, It'll Still Taste Like Chicken
of 17 votes, 29% like it
If It Wasn’t For These Words, You’d Be Staring At A Blank Shirt.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
If It's A Free Country, Why Am I Always Brought Up On Charges?
of 27 votes, 26% like it
If I’m Moving Right Now, I Cheated At A Game Of Freeze Tag.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
If Kids Ran the World, You Could Bribe Everyone With Candy.
of 45 votes, 16% like it
If Knowledge Is Power, Why Can’t Nerds Generate Electricity?
of 16 votes, 19% like it
If Life Didn't Want Me Dead, It Would Stop Aging Me.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
If Life Is A Game, Then Playtime Is Never Over. Hand Me A Crayon.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
If Life is So Precious, What's With the Bug Zapper?
of 22 votes, 9% like it
If Life Was Really Like Reality TV, I Wouldn't Want To Be Real.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
If Life's a Stage, Then Which Way is Stage Right?
of 59 votes, 27% like it
If Love Is A Battlefield, I Should Be Awarded The Purple Heart.
of 53 votes, 15% like it
If Money Talks, You Are Insane.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
If My Body Reflected How Fast My Mind Races, I'd Be a Triathlete
of 29 votes, 3% like it
If My Heart Was a DJ, It Would Play All Kinds of Awesome Beats.
of 45 votes, 18% like it
If My Pets Can Walk Around Naked, Why Can't I?
of 24 votes, 25% like it
If Not For Meat Eaters, Cows Would've Taken Over the Planet.
of 48 votes, 33% like it
If Not For Meat-Eaters, Cows Would Make Us Their Slaves.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
If Opposites Attract, Aren't Man & Woman Opposite Enough?
of 43 votes, 26% like it
If Opposites Attract, Isn't Being Man & Woman Opposite Enough
of 4 votes, 25% like it
If Pinatas Magically Come Alive, We're All Due For A Beatdown.
of 87 votes, 39% like it
If Pinatas Magically Come Alive, We're All In For A Beatdown.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
If Poker is Now a Sport, So Are Farting Contests.
of 40 votes, 15% like it
If Rain Weighed More, All Of Our Heads Would Be Caved In.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
If Roses Pooped, What Would It Smell Like?
of 9 votes, 22% like it
If Sex Sells, I Think Brain Sells Too.
of 32 votes, 9% like it
If Someone Makes You Mad in Hell, Where Do You Tell Them To Go?
of 53 votes, 30% like it
If The Office Copier Was A Real Person, We'd Be Arch Enemies.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
If the Proof is in the Pudding, Order Me Another Three Bowls!
of 27 votes, 7% like it
If The Word 'Ninja' Was Actually A Ninja It Would Never Be Seen
of 28 votes, 21% like it
If the World Was Made of Poo, Everyone Would Try 2 Be Number Two
of 12 votes, 8% like it
If There's One Thing I'm Really Good At, It's Celebrating Things.
of 41 votes, 10% like it
If These Words Were Moving, You'd Be Run Over By Now.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
If This Shirt’s Not Fancy Enough, I Have My Birthday Suit On Too.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
If This Slogan Were The Sun, You'd Be Blinded By Now.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
If Time Heals All Wounds, Why Can't My Watch Fix Itself?
of 35 votes, 23% like it
If Ur Reading This, I Will Now Be Sueing For Sexual Harrasment
of 28 votes, 0% like it
If We Get Into a Fight, Try Not To Punch Me In the Soul.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
If We Had No Heads, The Hat Industry Would Crumble Overnight.
of 27 votes, 37% like it
If We're Gonna Have A Standoff, I'd Prefer To Do It Sitting Down.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
If Words Cut Deep, Why Don't More Playwrights Join the Army?
of 25 votes, 16% like it
If You Are Testing My Patience, I'm Failing Right Now.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
If You Believe In Fantasy Worlds, Meet Me By The Unicorn Village.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
If You Believe In Following Orders, Raise Your Right Hand!
of 27 votes, 33% like it
If You Boogie All Night, You Might Want To See A Nose Doctor.
of 28 votes, 11% like it
If You Can Read This, I Bought A Cliched Shirt.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
If You Can Read This, I Bought A Shirt With A Cliche On It.
of 23 votes, 35% like it
If You Can Read This, I'm Not Nearly As Naked As I'd Like To Be.
of 136 votes, 63% like it
If You Can Read This, I'm Wearing A Cliched Shirt.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
If You Can Read This, You Are Definitely Not A Mongoose.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
If You Can Read This, You Just Read My Shirt.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
If You Can See This, We Are Not Living In The Dark Ages.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
If You Can't See Your Reflection in This Shirt, I Love Garlic.
of 40 votes, 20% like it
If You Can't Smile, At Least Grimace At Me.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
If You Can't Take The Heat, The Kitchen's Probably On Fire.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
If You Can’t Take The Heat, Turn Up The Air Conditioning.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
If You Could Speed-Read, You'd Be Done This Sentence By Now.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
If You Could Speed-Read, You'd Be Finished This Sentence By Now.
of 39 votes, 26% like it
If You Don't Get Crazy Every Now And Then You Might Go Nuts.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
If You Don't Take Names, You Have More Time To Kick Butt.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
If You Don't Take Names, You Have Time To Kick More Butts.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
If You Don't Think I'm A Rational Person, I'll Cry For Hours.
of 18 votes, 6% like it
If You Drink To Forget, You'll Never Regret Getting That Drunk.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
If You Drop A Book, Be Careful Not To Step On Sentence Fragments.
of 23 votes, 30% like it
If You Finish Reading This Sentence, You Owe Me a Quarter.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
If You Finish Reading This, You Owe Me a Dollar.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
If You Give An Inch Worm An Inch, That’s All It Can Possibly Take
of 27 votes, 26% like it
If You Like Rollercoasters, Raise Both Arms and SCREAM!
of 34 votes, 9% like it
If You Love the Same Movies as Me, We'll Probably Get Along.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
If You Need A Change Of Pace, Might I Suggest Power Walking?
of 7 votes, 14% like it
If You Need A Change Of Pace, Might I Suggest Speed Skating?
of 16 votes, 19% like it
If you Overthrow a Government, Go Get the Ball Out of Coup's Yard
of 23 votes, 4% like it
If You Play These Letters Backwards It Will Say Something Else.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
If You Play These Letters Backwards It Would Say Something Else.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
If You Run Out Of Ideas, Try To Walk It Off Instead.
of 42 votes, 19% like it
If You Swallow Your Gum, a Sidewalk Will Grow in Your Stomach.
of 38 votes, 29% like it
If You Think This Shirt's Witty, Wait Till You Talk To Its Wearer
of 35 votes, 14% like it
If You Want A Penny For Your Thoughts, I Pay No Mind.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
If You Want To Be Old-Fashioned Pen Pals, Just Send Me An E-mail.
of 31 votes, 10% like it
If You Want To Know Me On A More Personal Level, Meet Me Online.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
If You'd Seen The Internet Meme, This Shirt Would Be Funnier.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
If You're Not Feeling Yourself Today, Get Their Permission First.
of 36 votes, 33% like it
If You're Reading This In Your Head, Quit Talking To Yourself.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
If You're Reading This On Your Front Steps, You'd Be Home By Now.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
If You're Telepathic, It's Always The Thought That Counts.
of 61 votes, 56% like it
If Your Breadth Stinks, Read a Mint-Flavored Encyclopedia
of 1 votes, 100% like it
If Your Chairs Start An Uprising, Just Sit On Them.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
If Your Old Habits Aren't Dying, Your Not Using Enough Poison
of 35 votes, 9% like it
If Your Pet Can Read This Back To Me, I Will Give You $100
of 36 votes, 17% like it
If Zombies Had Any Brains, They'd Make Bulletproof Head Gear.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
If Zombies Had Half A Brain, They Wouldn't Need Ours.
of 19 votes, 5% like it
iFeelsleepy
of 41 votes, 10% like it
Igneous Music Is For True Rock Fans.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
Ignorance Might Be Bliss, But You'd Be Too Dumb To Realize It.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
Illegally Laundered Shirt- I Snuck It Into a Friend's Dryer.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
Ima Freeform Hallucination
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Impatient People Have A Wait Problem.
of 38 votes, 26% like it
Impatient People Have Wait Problems.
of 29 votes, 34% like it
Impressionable Children Watch Too Many Films Strip in School.
of 38 votes, 13% like it
In a Half-Assed Kinda Way, I Agree Wholeheartedly.
of 43 votes, 16% like it
In A Past Life, I Was Me But One Foot Shorter.
of 48 votes, 17% like it
In A Pun-Based Economy, I'd Be A Zillionaire.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
In Ancient Times, People Lived In Such Ruins.
of 55 votes, 22% like it
In Both Life and Fashion, I Never Play the Victim.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
In My Past Life, I Was God.
of 13 votes, 8% like it
In My Pockets, You Shall Find the World's Missing Puzzle Pieces.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
In My Spare Time, I Don’t Bowl Strikes.
of 62 votes, 18% like it
In My Spare Time, I Like To Fluff Up Frumpy-Looking Clouds.
of 43 votes, 23% like it
In My Spare Time, I'm Not Bowling Strikes.
of 33 votes, 6% like it
In Need of a Partner 4 the Pogo Stick Ballroom Dancing Contest
of 50 votes, 6% like it
In Public I Only Show My "Edited For TV" Persona.
of 46 votes, 9% like it
In Soviet Russia, Cliched Joke Tells You!
of 29 votes, 24% like it
In Space, Aliens Can Hear You Scream And They Hate It.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
In Space, Echoes Take A Really Long Time To Hear.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
In Space, No One Can Hear You Saying Lame Cliches.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
In Space, No One Can Hear You Screaming Lame Cliches.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
In The Amusement Park of Life, I Would Be the Teacup Ride.
of 46 votes, 22% like it
In the Army, 20:04 is a Dyslexic Pothead's Favorite Time!
of 31 votes, 0% like it
In The Future There Will Be A TV Mounted Here.
of 55 votes, 13% like it
In the Game of Life, Hell is Merely the Final Lava Level.
of 48 votes, 17% like it
In The Gear Shift Of Life, Never Get Stuck In Neutral.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
In the Office Supply Gang Wars, I Roll With The Papercrips.
of 238 votes, 33% like it
In The Twilight Zone, Do I Turn My Watch Back An Hour or Forward?
of 50 votes, 18% like it
In The Wintertime My Brain Goes Into Hibernation.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
In Videogames, Don't Forget To Stop And Smell The Fire Flowers.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Indiana Jones Gave Me Whip Lash.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Indiana Jones Gives All His Enemies a Severe Case of Whip Lash.
of 43 votes, 7% like it
Insane Asylum Fashion Tip: Straightjackets Are In This Season.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
Insanity is Reality's Evil Twin Nemesis.
of 43 votes, 19% like it
INSANITY: Now Comes In Ten Different Flavors You Can Talk To!
of 24 votes, 33% like it
Insert Additional Hugs To Continue Conversation.
of 31 votes, 39% like it
Inside Jokes Are So Lame. Fruit Salad.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
Inspiration Struck Me Last Night. Or Was That Lightning?
of 26 votes, 23% like it
Ironic Tip Of The Day: Reading People's Shirts Is Lame.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Ironically, Canyons Don't Enjoy Rock Music.
of 18 votes, 11% like it
Irony (n): 1. Woah, I Didn't See That Comin'.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
Irony Clings to Me Like Desperate Leaves on Trees Before Winter
of 73 votes, 12% like it
Is It Just Me Or Is It Always Me When I Ask These Questions?
of 23 votes, 9% like it
Is There Any Way To Actually Win the War Against Nature?
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Is There Anything Even Remotely Worth Rebelling Against Today?
of 57 votes, 18% like it
Is There ANYTHING People Use A No. 1 Pencil For?
of 4 votes, 25% like it
Is Traveling At Light-Speed In the Dark Even Fast?
of 6 votes, 17% like it
iSickofipodreferences
of 51 votes, 16% like it
Isn't Every Stick in the Back of Your House a Yard Stick?
of 31 votes, 13% like it
Isn't This Robot Replica of Myself Amazingly Lifelike?
of 36 votes, 8% like it
It All Started on a Hill With Jack and Jill.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
It All Started on the Hill With Jack and Jill.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
IT Happens All the Time in Wyoming
of 37 votes, 11% like it
It is NOT National Opposite Day Today.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
It Literally Blows My Mind When People Misuse Their Words.
of 31 votes, 35% like it
It Only Took Me a Hundred Bucks To Win This at a Carnival!
of 32 votes, 22% like it
It Really Hurts When My Inner Child Does A Set Of Jumping Jacks.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
It Stinks When My Favorite Food Groups Split Up.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
It Takes a Steady Trigger Finger To Make a Decent Hand Gun.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
It Was Either Buying This Shirt or Paying Off My Student Loans.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
It Would Really Bite If Vampires Were Afraid Of The Dark.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
It Would Really Suck If You Forgot How To Breathe.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
It Would Stink if Trees Didn't Recycle.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
It's A Dog-Eat-Dog World Once Animals Become Zombies.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
It's A Lot Harder To Disappear Into Fat Air.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
It's All Amateur Until You Turn Pro Creation.
of 26 votes, 15% like it
It's Always Best To Go Steady With An Earthquake.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
It's Awkward when I LOL In Public.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
It's Been My Entire Life Since My Last Confession.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
It's Even Harder to Find Haystacks in a Needle Than Vice Versa
of 41 votes, 17% like it
It's Funny Cause It's True Isn't As Funny As Actually Being Funny
of 24 votes, 21% like it
It's Hard To Buy Someone a Drink at the Salad Bar.
of 36 votes, 17% like it
It's Horracious How Many Stupid New Words Are Made Each Day
of 125 votes, 15% like it
It's Just A Madder Of Fact That People Get Angry Over Nothing.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
It's Just Great That Sarcasm Can't Be Read Off This Shirt
of 40 votes, 13% like it
It's National Opposite Day Today! Or Does That Mean It's Not?
of 16 votes, 13% like it
It's Not Cheating if I Say I'm Sorry After You Catch Me
of 3 votes, 0% like it
It's Not Stealing if I Give It Back To You After You Catch Me.
of 131 votes, 27% like it
It's Not The Thought That Counts, It's Actually Your Brain.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
It's Okay, The Voices In My Head Recently Took A Vow Of Silence.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
It's Pretty Easy To Pull The Wool Over A Sheep's Eyes.
of 17 votes, 35% like it
It's Really Easy To Lead A Seahorse To Water.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
It's Really Hard To Fence With Daggers.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
It's Rude For Zombies To Talk With Their Mouth Full Of Your Mouth
of 44 votes, 36% like it
It's Strange To Bring Up God's Blessings When Boogers Are Flying.
of 22 votes, 5% like it
It's Sweeps Week, So Give the Nearest Janitor a Hug!
of 30 votes, 17% like it
It's Tough To Make Calls On My Phone Since It's Tone Deaf.
of 32 votes, 9% like it
It's Very Hard To Eat With A Tuning Fork.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
It’s Always Best To Go Steady If An Earthquake Asks You Out.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
It’s Hard For Computers To Stand In A Single File.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
It’s Okay, The Voices In My Head Recently Took A Vow Of Silence.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
I’d Love To Fly To The Moon, But I Have Cheese Allergies.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
I’d Rather Be Paid Back In Money Than In Spades.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
I’M TOTA_LY BLANK_NG RI_HT N_W.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
I’m A Fun Hunter In Search Of Game.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
I’m From The Future Trying To Help Myself Make A Time Machine.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
I’m Hooked On Pirates.
of 65 votes, 22% like it
I’m Living The Dream! Wait, I’m Still Asleep Right?
of 22 votes, 18% like it
I’m Lost, Can You Direct Me To The Nearest Warp Zone?
of 31 votes, 13% like it
I’m Not A Child But I Play One In My Adult Life.
of 14 votes, 29% like it
I’m Not Paranoid! They’re All Out To Get YOU, Not Me.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
I’m Not Paranoid, They’re All Out To Try And Tag Me IT!
of 27 votes, 11% like it
I’m Not Shrugging, I’m Hugging You With Indifference.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
I’m Not THAT Insane. You’re Just Not Crazy Enough.
of 26 votes, 12% like it
I’m Taking Donations For Operators Standing By To Get Some Seats.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
I’m Thinking Of Signing Up For The Space Cadet Academy.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
I’ve Gotten Lots Of Speed-Reading Tickets From Librarians.
of 69 votes, 28% like it
I’ve Never Seen Pigs Give Each Other A Piggyback Ride.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
I’ve Never Used Explosives, But I Might Just Blow Your Mind.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
Jay-Z + Back to the Future = 88 JiggaWhats?
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Jesus and Zombies Are Both Big Fans of the Resurrection.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
Jesus Died For Your Shins
of 43 votes, 9% like it
Jesus Is The World's Most Popular Zombie!
of 28 votes, 32% like it
Jesus Should Not Turn Water Into Wine During AA Meetings.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
Job Hunting Does Not Require An Orange Suit and Rifle.
of 23 votes, 13% like it
Join Me in Crumbling Society's Institutions, Won't You?
of 48 votes, 13% like it
Join Me in Stealing Prizes Out of All the Cereal Boxes, Won't U?
of 43 votes, 21% like it
Join The Compliment Army And Kill Em' All With Kindness!
of 26 votes, 15% like it
Join The Individualists Club Today!
of 17 votes, 29% like it
Judges Are Tired of Being Objectified By Lawyers.
of 48 votes, 6% like it
Juggling 5 Courses At Once in Clown College is No Laughing Matter
of 289 votes, 36% like it
Jump Ropes Aren't As Athletic As They Sound.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
Jumping on a Stranger's Head & Recieving a Gold Coin is My ATM
of 44 votes, 7% like it
Just Call Me Professor Scaredypants. On Second Thought, Don't.
of 16 votes, 0% like it
Just Cause I'm Wearing a Shirt Doesn't Mean I'm Hiding Things!
of 34 votes, 9% like it
Just Kidding... I'm Really Laughing AT You.
of 37 votes, 14% like it
Just Like Everyone Else, I Don't Want To Be Like Anyone Else.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Just Throw Ur Hands in the Air,and Pray They Don't Land On a Bear
of 40 votes, 3% like it
Just When You Think You Can Trust Friendly Fire, It Burns You.
of 53 votes, 23% like it
Just When You Think You Know A Season, It Changes On You.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
Kathy Bates is My Idea of a Perfect "10."
of 21 votes, 0% like it
Keep Hope Alive, Even If You Have To Give It Mouth-To-Mouth.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
Keep It - I Got a Pit Bull NOW!
of 36 votes, 6% like it
Keeping My Stalag-Tight To Show the World My Stalag-Might
of 48 votes, 8% like it
Kernels Of Corn Explode With Joy When They Hear POP Music.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
Keyboards Think I'm the Right Kinda Type.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
Keychains Are Prisons For Keys That Need To Be Locked Up.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Keyholes Are For Peeping, Not Unlocking.
of 44 votes, 23% like it
Kick In the Corners of Your Abode To Perform a Roundhouse
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Kid's Games Are Extremely Childish.
of 45 votes, 24% like it
Kids, Don't Do Drugs. Unless You Plan On Making Awesome Music.
of 45 votes, 20% like it
Killing a King in His Bed Makes You Guilty of Matricide.
of 45 votes, 7% like it
Killing A Million Lawyers Would Make the Earth Barely Legal
of 40 votes, 8% like it
Kitchen Sinks Are Always Left Out Of The Best Fights.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
Kittens Go Bowling With Hairballs.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
Kittens Play Sports With Hairballs.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
Kleptomaniacs Always Steal The Spotlight.
of 5 votes, 40% like it
Kleptomaniacs Are Always Stealing The Spotlight.
of 55 votes, 44% like it
Knights Have Far Less Protection in Their Birthday Suit of Armor.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
Knights Keep Their Feelings Hidden Inside Thick Shells.
of 40 votes, 35% like it
Knights Who Had Causal Day Without Suits Aren't Around Anymore.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
Knives Really Reached Their Peak After Slicing Bread.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
Knock Knock. Did You Just Say 'Who's There' To a T-Shirt?
of 49 votes, 35% like it
Kung Fu Waiters: 'To Protect and Serve Since Ancient Times'
of 9 votes, 22% like it
Kung Fu Waiters: Protecting and Serving Since the Dawn of Time.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
L-E-T M-E S-P-E-L-L I-T O-U-T F-O-R Y-O-U.
of 45 votes, 20% like it
Lactose Intolerance is a Form of Bigotry
of 53 votes, 9% like it
Lamps, TVs & Couches Hate Being So Objectified.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Landfills Survive By Eating Lots Of Junk Food.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
Languages Are Just Agreed-Upon Goofy Noises.
of 3 votes, 67% like it
Larger Numbers Have To Watch Their Figures.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Larger Numbers Sometimes Exercise To Get Smaller Figures.
of 42 votes, 36% like it
Lasers: Useful In Pointers, Eye Surgeries and Space Battles.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
Last Night I Dreamt About a Dream I'm Having Tomorrow Night.
of 38 votes, 24% like it
Late-Breaking News Requires Early-Morning Masking Tape
of 28 votes, 11% like it
Laugh Tracks Are Like a TV Show's Annoyingly Proud Parents
of 49 votes, 12% like it
Launching Snot Rockets Doesn't Make You Part Of The Space Program
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Laundry Day Is The Only National Holiday I Observe.
of 31 votes, 23% like it
Lawnmowers Have Their Work Cut Out For Them.
of 32 votes, 44% like it
Lawyers Smell Like Sue-Age.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
Lazy Eyes Just Lack Ambition.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Lazy People Rarely Exercise Their Rights.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Leader of The Red-Headed Stepchild Anti-Abuse Force
of 44 votes, 11% like it
Legs Don’t Think Too Much About What They Take A Stand On.
of 24 votes, 4% like it
Leprechauns Love Listening To Shamrock.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
Let Me Set The Record Straight. The Music Sounds Better That Way.
of 40 votes, 28% like it
Let Me Use Kung-Fu to Kill You, So That I May Avenge Your Death
of 45 votes, 13% like it
Let Sleeping Dogs Lie. They Tell The Truth In The Morning.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
Let's All Get Crunk On Manishevitz!!!
of 21 votes, 5% like it
Let's All Pretend My Shirt Says The Funniest Thing Ever.
of 15 votes, 27% like it
Let's Give It Up For Virginity!
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Let's Go Back To My Place And Watch Some Viral Videos.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
Let's Go Talk About Deforestation In My New Log Mansion.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Let's Go To the Park and Play on the Mood Swings.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Let's Hear It for Silence!
of 25 votes, 24% like it
LET'S HEAR IT FOR SILENCE!!!
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Let's Lock Lips And Throw The Key Away.
of 33 votes, 15% like it
Let's Make Beautiful Death Metal Music Together.
of 68 votes, 38% like it
Let's Meet In The Elevator And Make Beautiful Muzak Together.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
Let's Talk About Our Favorite Gummi Bear Flavors.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Let's Try To Have A Conversation Without Using Any Vowels.
of 40 votes, 35% like it
Let’s Hear It For Clapping!
of 26 votes, 27% like it
Libraries: Where Books Go To Get Some Peace And Quiet.
of 80 votes, 38% like it
Life is Like a Stupid Forrest Gump Quote.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
Life Is Not A Beach If You’re A Whale.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Life Is Short. Don't Make Fun Of It Or Yours Will Get Shorter.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
Life Is What You Make Of It. I Choose To Make Believe.
of 36 votes, 39% like it
Life's a Test. But I'm Not a Good Test-Taker.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
Life: Risks Include Dry Mouth, Headaches, and Eventual Death.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
Life: I Saw Something Like This On a Reality Show Once.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Life: It's Graded On More of a Pass/Fail System.
of 45 votes, 36% like it
Light Bulbs Are Bright, But The Sun Is More Brilliant.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Light Bulbs: Angering The Sun Gods Since 1878.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
Light Travels At What Speed Again?
of 11 votes, 18% like it
Lightning Bolts Are Just Free-Range Power Lines.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Lightning Strikes When Zeus Makes It Work Seven Days Straight.
of 55 votes, 18% like it
Lights Are Jerks, They Change On You With The Flip Of A Switch.
of 36 votes, 25% like it
Like Molten Lava, I Just Go With The Flow.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Listen to This Shirt
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Literally Or Figuratively, Fire Arms Lead To No Good.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
Literary Priests Deliver Last Writes.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Little Bo Peep Has a Voyeur Fetish
of 35 votes, 11% like it
Little Help Please! This Shirt Isn’t Gonna Read Itself.
of 17 votes, 29% like it
Live Every Day Like The Substitute Teacher Is Running The Class.
of 35 votes, 31% like it
Living In A Lighthouse Makes Finding Your Way Home A Snap.
of 65 votes, 38% like it
Living: It Saves Lives.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
Local News Update: Murders, Robberies, And Cutest Puppy Alive!
of 31 votes, 19% like it
Logic: The Leading Cause Of Follow-The-Leader.
of 27 votes, 11% like it
Logo Shirts Are An Exercise in Petty Brandalism.
of 44 votes, 7% like it
LOL Like You Mean It.
of 34 votes, 24% like it
Long Ago, Bullfighting Was Once Unicornfighting.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Long Distance Calls Are More Fun By Megaphone.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
Loopholes Are Like Written Roller Coasters of Technicality.
of 30 votes, 17% like it
Love Is In The Air Today, And It Plays Hell With My Allergies.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
Love Is In The Air Today, And It's Playing Hell With My Allergies
of 26 votes, 31% like it
Love Yourself. But Not Literally While in Public.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
Lowercase Letters are the Little Children of the Alphabet.
of 45 votes, 20% like it
Luckily Shoulder Blades Aren't Sharp Enough To Saw People In Half
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Luckily The Monster In My Closet Didn't Eat This Shirt Yet.
of 31 votes, 39% like it
Lumberjacks Could Work Faster If They Mastered The Karate Chop.
of 34 votes, 32% like it
Lumberjacks: The Number One Cause Of Ewok Home Foreclosures.
of 1 votes, 0% like it
Lying Down At The Top Of A Hill, That's How I Roll.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Machine Guns are Made From Machinery. What Are Hand Guns Made Of?
of 16 votes, 6% like it
Mad Scientists Sometimes Just Have a Rock in Their Shoe.
of 52 votes, 29% like it
Magic Tricks Are Just Really Well-Timed Miracles.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
Magic: Con Jobs Made Fun For the Whole Family To Enjoy!
of 32 votes, 22% like it
Magical Doctors Cast Spells Once They've Been Broken.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Magicians = The Drop-Outs Of The Wizard World.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Magicians Are Really The Flunkies Of The Wizard World.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
Main Event of the Videogame Olympics- The 200 Meter Button Mash
of 34 votes, 6% like it
Make Art, Not Warpaint.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
Make Cliche Slogans, Not War.
of 35 votes, 23% like it
Make Up A Word Today And Try Sneaking It Past Me In A Sentence.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Making Air Quotes Gouges Out The Eyes Of Mother Nature.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Man, There's No New Music Even Worth Stealing Off the Internet.
of 44 votes, 16% like it
Man, This Human is REALLY Comfortable To Wear.
of 58 votes, 34% like it
Many People Say I Have An Ear For Hearing.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
Mario + Flower Power-up = The Original Flamethrower
of 44 votes, 14% like it
Math Is A Jerk. It Also Wants To Divide Things.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
Math Is A Jerk. It Always Wants To Divide Things.
of 37 votes, 24% like it
Mathematical Farmers Angle Their Crops With Protractors
of 39 votes, 13% like it
Mathematicians Always Win Pi Eating Contests.
of 46 votes, 30% like it
Mathematicians Love To Square Route Dance.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Me and George Costanza Are Believers of Seintology.
of 25 votes, 4% like it
Me and You Need to Hide! The Grammar Police is Coming To Get Us!
of 52 votes, 33% like it
Meaningless (adj): 1. __________________ ___________.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
Meaningless (adj.):
of 6 votes, 17% like it
Measuring Sticks: Rulers of the World!
of 40 votes, 35% like it
Meat Is Murder. So Apparently I Really Love Murder.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Megaphones Are Really Bad At Keeping Secrets.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Mermaids: The Best Cleaners To Hire For A Dirty Ocean Floor.
of 33 votes, 12% like it
Metal Forks And Electric Sockets Is A Love That Can Never Be.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
Middle Fingers Aren't Bad, It's Just Their Position In Life.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Millionaires Need Our Support: Go Buy Something Useless & Shiny
of 133 votes, 20% like it
Mimes Are in a Screaming Match Behind You. Gestures Are Flying!
of 39 votes, 10% like it
Mimes Were The Class Clowns In Ninja School.
of 10 votes, 30% like it
Mirrors and Pools of Water Are Really Into Self-Reflection.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Mirrors Are So Superficial, They Never See People's Inner Beauty.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Mirrors Give Me Ample Time For Pondering Self-Reflection.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
Mirrors Give Me Ample Time For Self-Reflection.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Mirrors Give Me Time to Ponder Self-Reflection.
of 9 votes, 44% like it
Mirrors Have Plenty of Time For Personal Reflection.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Mirrors Tend To Reflect on the Day's Events.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
Misery Wants Company To Stay The Hell Away Today.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
Miss Cleo Predicted This Would Happen.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
Mixing Words And Drugs Leads To A Life Of Xubfozweig.
of 65 votes, 35% like it
Mobsters Play Baseball to See Who Can Whack the Ball Best
of 39 votes, 18% like it
Modern Radio Is Musical Water Torture.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
Monday Is My Friend. Everyone Else Talks So Badly About It.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
More Young People Voted For the Last American Idol Than President
of 47 votes, 21% like it
Most Astronauts Cannot Do The Moonwalk.
of 29 votes, 31% like it
Most People Have Special Talents. I Wear Funny T-Shirts.
of 34 votes, 32% like it
Most People In This World Need A Funny Bone Transplant.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Move Along Eyes, Nothing To Read Here.
of 26 votes, 35% like it
Movies Taught Me Swiss Families Love Living In Treehouses.
of 16 votes, 25% like it
Mrs. Robinson Was The Original MILF.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Mullets Are Like A Failure Uniform For Your Head.
of 33 votes, 18% like it
Mummies Invented Wrap Music.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Museums Have No Skeletons In Their Closet, They're All On Display
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Music Notes Make So Much Noise When Taking Them.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Music: Now That's A Sound Idea.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Musical Statisticians Conduct Surveys.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
Musically Gifted Power Lines Conduct Electricity Better.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Musicians Make Xylophone Calls.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Musicians Sign Their Checks With Time Signatures.
of 35 votes, 14% like it
Musicians Strive To End on a High Note.
of 45 votes, 16% like it
My Achilles Heel is Spilt Milk
of 29 votes, 0% like it
My Active Imagination Runs Ten Miles a Day.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
My Antique Clock Has a Nervous Tick.
of 16 votes, 19% like it
My Attention Spans The Length of This Sentence.
of 50 votes, 38% like it
MY ATTENTION WHORE COMPLEX IS STARTING TO SHOW THROUGH
of 28 votes, 7% like it
My Award-Winning Punctuation Skills Earned Me an Apos-Trophy!
of 444 votes, 31% like it
My Award-Winning Punctuation Skills Earned Me an Apostrophy.
of 43 votes, 16% like it
My Bad Traits Come From the Other Side of My Family.
of 45 votes, 16% like it
My Bathroom Scale Thinks I Have a Weight Problem.
of 44 votes, 20% like it
My Bed Has No Bed Time Because It Sleeps When I'm At Work.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
My Belly Button is Making Funny Faces at You Right Now.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
My Blinds Keep Waking Into And Breaking All The Windows.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
My Blinds Keep Walking Into And Breaking All The Windows.
of 27 votes, 4% like it
My Body is a Temple. The Temple of Doom.
of 31 votes, 16% like it
My Body Is Here, But My Mind is Battling Space Aliens.
of 38 votes, 29% like it
My Body Isn't Haunted, But I Sometimes Have Spirit Fingers.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
My Book of Love Has Several Pages of the Heart Chapter Ripped Out
of 28 votes, 7% like it
My Books Won't Stop Paging Me.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
My Brain Has a Mind All Its Own.
of 48 votes, 21% like it
My Brainwaves Are So Big They've Been Known To Capsize Boats.
of 32 votes, 31% like it
My Call Of The Wild Has Been Disconnected.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
My Camera Was Arrested For Repeated Public Indecent Exposures.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
My Car Is Equipped With Turtle Shells and Banana Peels.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
My Cat Creates Things From Scratch.
of 51 votes, 20% like it
My Closet Is Very Well Hung.
of 61 votes, 25% like it
My Cousin's Sister's Best Friend Created All the Urban Legends
of 71 votes, 18% like it
My Creative Juices Are the World's Best-Selling Energy Drink!
of 41 votes, 15% like it
My Doctor Cured Me By Administering The Silent Treatment.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
My Eastern Calender Says It's The Year Of The Unlimited Buffet.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
My Eastern Calender Says This Is The Year Of The Unicorn.
of 24 votes, 13% like it
My English Teacher Has a Severe Case of Conjunctionvitis.
of 35 votes, 17% like it
My Eternal Soul Can Be Yours For Three Easy Payments of $19.95!
of 42 votes, 24% like it
My Eyes Are Drawn To Artists & Then They Color In My Pupils.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
My Family Has 2.4 Children Made By 3.8 Parents.
of 39 votes, 33% like it
My Fantasy Football Team Contains Orcs and Robin Hood
of 49 votes, 16% like it
My Fantasy Island Would Have Grossed Out Most TV Viewers.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
My Favorite Extreme Sport Is Sneaking Up On And Scaring Ghosts.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
My Favorite Genre Of Movie is "Good."
of 55 votes, 47% like it
My Favorite Kind of Flower is a Reincarnation.
of 37 votes, 24% like it
My Favorite Kind Of Music Is Old-School Video Game.
of 14 votes, 7% like it
My Favorite Position is on the Back of This Shirt / (B) Shortstop
of 38 votes, 5% like it
My Favorite Reality Show is Actual Life
of 28 votes, 11% like it
My Favorite Scent Is "New Car Smell"
of 26 votes, 15% like it
My Favorite Songs Are Television Theme Shows.
of 19 votes, 21% like it
My Favorite Things To Cook Are Cereal And Peanut Butter & Jel
of 3 votes, 0% like it
My Favorite Topics To Talk About Are Politics and Religion.
of 43 votes, 14% like it
My Favorite Underground Music Hero is Indie Anna-Jones.
of 34 votes, 18% like it
My Favorite Way To Travel Is By Speed Of Light.
of 62 votes, 24% like it
My First Rule of Life: Anarchy & Chaos is the Only Way to Go.
of 41 votes, 10% like it
My Friends Jumped Off a Cliff & I Didn't Follow. Wanna Hang O
of 3 votes, 33% like it
My Friends With Benefits Plan Covers Hospital Visits.
of 54 votes, 26% like it
My Funny Bone Told the Rest of My Body an Inside Joke
of 40 votes, 23% like it
My Funny Bone Was Broken Taking Part in the Last Laugh Riots.
of 44 votes, 23% like it
My Funny Bone Was Broken When I Marched In The Laugh Riots.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
My Grammar Died For Your Syntax.
of 34 votes, 21% like it
My Hand Likes To Talk Lots Of Smack.
of 72 votes, 26% like it
My Hidden Talents Are So Well Buried I Can’t Even Find Them.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
My Hobbies Include Having People Look At My Shirt.
of 20 votes, 15% like it
My Hobbies Include Wearing Shirts And Having People Stare At Them
of 25 votes, 24% like it
My Huge Dust Collection Is Nothing To Sneeze At.
of 46 votes, 30% like it
My Idea of a Perfect "10" is Sloth
of 41 votes, 0% like it
My Imaginary Friend is Holding This Shirt In Front Of Me.
of 39 votes, 23% like it
My Inner Child Is Actually Conjoined Twins.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
My Inner Child Is Trying To Make a Break For the Outside World.
of 51 votes, 29% like it
My Inner Child Loves to Play in the Outer Recesses of My Mind.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
My Inner Child Won't Take Candy From Me Because I'm A Stranger.
of 34 votes, 35% like it
My Innovation Will Someday Seem Cliche When Everybody's Doing It.
of 58 votes, 36% like it
My Intellectual Property Has a Lawn Made of SmartGrass (TM).
of 11 votes, 9% like it
My Invisible Friend is Holding This Shirt Up.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
My Kindness And Knowledge Klub Should've Chosen Better Initials.
of 35 votes, 23% like it
My Kung Fu Moves Make Punch & Kick Sounds 5 Seconds Later.
of 50 votes, 30% like it
My Kung-Fu Master Lives in a Roundhouse.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
My Lawn's Diary Has Plenty of Dirt on Everyone.
of 44 votes, 32% like it
My Lawyer Says He Can Get Me 2 Years on the Broken Mirror Charges
of 20 votes, 15% like it
My Life Flashed Before My Eyes & Was Arrested For Exposure.
of 31 votes, 6% like it
My Life Flashed Before My Eyes And Was Arrested.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
My Life is Like a Party....The Donner Party.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
My Life is One Continuous Freestyle
of 31 votes, 10% like it
My Long-Term Goals Include Saving The Princess.
of 4 votes, 50% like it
My Lovin Skills Are So Good I Can Stimulate The Economy With 'Em.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
My Lovin Skills Are So Good They Can Stimulate The Economy.
of 8 votes, 13% like it
My Lungs Have An Oxygen Addiction Yet I Don’t Want Them To Quit.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
My Lyrics Are Always Better Than The Ones In The Actual Song.
of 26 votes, 27% like it
My Main Form of Exercise is Jogging My Memory.
of 36 votes, 28% like it
My Mind is My Heart's Prison B*tch.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
My Mind: Open 24 Hours With Drive-Thru.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
My Mom Hangs Up All My Pictures in the Trash Can!
of 29 votes, 34% like it
My Mom Used To Tuck Me In At Night With a Straightjacket.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
My Mood Ring Has Such A Bad Attitude About Changing Colors.
of 38 votes, 13% like it
My Name is Pac Man and I Am Addicted To Glowing Yellow Tablets...
of 21 votes, 10% like it
My Non-Verbal Communication Skills Seem To Be Working.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
My Organs Tell Me The Best Inside Jokes.
of 29 votes, 38% like it
My Organs Tell The Best Inside Jokes.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
My Other Shirt Is A Cliche Too.
of 36 votes, 28% like it
My Other Shirt is a Diamond-Encrusted Turtleneck.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
My Pay Grade Is Usually Just Above Failing.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
My Personalities Have Been Bickering, But They Haven't Split Yet.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
My Pet Hot Dog Is Really Good At Rolling Over.
of 21 votes, 38% like it
My Pet Rabbit is Going Bald, So I Got Him Hare Plugs.
of 39 votes, 10% like it
My Pets Include a Singing Frog and a Spelling Bee.
of 39 votes, 10% like it
My Recipe For Disaster Includes A Dash Of Terror And Mayhem.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
My Relationship With A Balloon Ended Because It Felt Empty Inside
of 30 votes, 27% like it
My Religion Involves Finding God And Pretending I Can't See Him.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
My Remote & TV is a Long-Distance Relationship That Works.
of 35 votes, 20% like it
My Secret Identity is That I Am Even Lazier Than You Think.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
My Shadow is Sensitive To Light and Only Comes Out At Night.
of 92 votes, 39% like it
My Shadow Keeps Following Me, So I Lost It In The Shade.
of 56 votes, 18% like it
My Shadow Would Make The Best Ninja.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
My Shirt > Your Shirt
of 19 votes, 21% like it
My Shirt Didn't Have Anything Nice to Say.
of 47 votes, 17% like it
My Shirt Had Nothing Nice To Say Today.
of 45 votes, 29% like it
My Shirt Has Lost Its Voice.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
My Shirt Is A Really Good Listener.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
My Shirt Is Actually A Circumcised Turtleneck.
of 105 votes, 36% like it
My Shirt is Having Performance Anxiety Issues Right Now.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
My Shirt is Retina ID Scanning You As This is Being Read.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
My Shirt is Retina ID Scanning You As You Read This.
of 27 votes, 7% like it
My Shirt is Sadly a Sufferer of Slogan Anxiety Syndrome.
of 51 votes, 18% like it
My Shirt Is So Paranoid, It Thinks Everyone Is Staring At It.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
My Shirt Isn't Amused by What You're Wearing Either.
of 113 votes, 20% like it
My Shirt Just Sucked 3 Seconds of Your Life Away.
of 11 votes, 9% like it
My Shirt Just Took Your Eye Virginity.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
My Shirt Tells Me You've Been Giving It Some Weird Stares.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
My Shirt Told Me You'd Read This Today But I Didn't Believe It!
of 24 votes, 21% like it
My Skin Was Custom-Made To Fit Me Perfectly.
of 37 votes, 30% like it
My Snake Pit Is Emitting a Loud Hissing Sound. Can You Fix It?
of 32 votes, 19% like it
My Snake Pit Seems To Be Emitting a Loud Hissing Sound.
of 3 votes, 33% like it
My Spirit Fingers Are Extremely Haunted.
of 17 votes, 6% like it
My Spirit Guide Constantly Stops To Ask For Directions.
of 43 votes, 28% like it
My Spittoon Paintings Are the Spitting Image of the Real Things.
of 39 votes, 15% like it
My Split Personalities Were Separated at Birth.
of 37 votes, 11% like it
My Sponsor Forbids Me To Tell You Why Corporations Are Evil.
of 36 votes, 22% like it
My Spring Water Won't Stay Still Enough For Me To Drink It.
of 39 votes, 13% like it
My Suicide Notes Get More Eloquent Every Time I Write One.
of 40 votes, 23% like it
My Summer Home Is A Tree House.
of 96 votes, 39% like it
My Super Power Involves Making U Stare at the Word "Szechuan
of 2 votes, 0% like it
My Super Power Involves Making You Stare at the Word "Szechu
of 1 votes, 0% like it
My Super Power is Conjuring Ideas That Blow People's Minds Apart
of 41 votes, 10% like it
My Super Power Is Jumping To Conclusions Thousands Of Miles Away.
of 25 votes, 32% like it
My Super Power is Seeing Through Walls of Ten-Foot Thick Glass
of 44 votes, 23% like it
My Sweet Tooth Tastes So Good That I Accidentally Ate It.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
My T-Shirt And I Thank You For Your Patronage.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
My T-Shirt Couldn't Think of a Witty Catchphrase Today...Sorry.
of 57 votes, 12% like it
My T-Shirt Does the Funniest Sweater Impression You've Ever Seen
of 165 votes, 22% like it
My T-Shirt Doesn't Like Being Watched.
of 32 votes, 38% like it
My Third Impression is Way Better Than My First.
of 39 votes, 18% like it
My Thought Well Runs Deep. Did You Bring Scuba Gear?
of 44 votes, 16% like it
My Time Machine Won't Stop Blinking Midnight.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
My Train Of Thought Was Derailed & Eaten By Zombies.
of 28 votes, 29% like it
My Vegetables Can Get As Fresh With Me As They Want.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
My Violin Was Fit as a Fiddle Before It Stopped Fine Tuning.
of 32 votes, 16% like it
My Way Would Probably Take The Highway.
of 24 votes, 8% like it
My Window Cleaner Holds the Record for the Longest Streak.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
My Window Cleaner is a Longest Streak in History Record Holder.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
My Worst Nightmare Is A Zombie Wearing Bulletproof Headgear.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
My Xylophone Keeps Dropping Calls.
of 29 votes, 34% like it
Mystical Cats Believe Everyone Has Lived Nine Past Lives.
of 33 votes, 9% like it
Nature Calls The 4th Of July "Humans Attack The Sky" Da
of 2 votes, 0% like it
Near-Sighted Submarines Have a Problem With Depth Perception.
of 42 votes, 26% like it
Needles Are More Scared Of You Than You Are Of Them.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Neglected Spoons Often Get Stir-Crazy.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Nerds Who Eat Too Many Sweets Have to Get a Square Root Canal.
of 16 votes, 13% like it
Neurons Are Always On My Mind.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Neurons Are Never Far From Mt Mind.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
Neurons Are Never Far From My Mind.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
Never Argue With A Bomb, It Might Explode With Rage.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
Never Ask Pencils To Get The Lead Out, It Wears Them Down.
of 38 votes, 26% like it
Never Attempt To Wear a Suitcase.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Never Become a Full-Blown Adult.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Never Bring a Jump Rope Near the Edge of a Skyscraper.
of 42 votes, 21% like it
Never Call 'Shotgun' Against A Person Actually Carrying One.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Never Forget An Elephant's Birthday.
of 31 votes, 19% like it
Never Lose Your Inner Unicorn.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
Never Play a Game of Hot Potato With Boris and Natasha.
of 44 votes, 7% like it
Never Play Hide-and-Seek With a Bat in the Dark.
of 10 votes, 10% like it
Never Play Poker Against Paper, All They Do Is Fold.
of 27 votes, 15% like it
Never Play Roulette at a Russian Casino.
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Never Saying Sorry Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Never Shake Hands With A Lightning Bolt.
of 60 votes, 38% like it
Never Yell 'Bite Me!' At A Pool Of Piranha.
of 22 votes, 9% like it
Nice Guys Don't Win Triathlons.
of 36 votes, 19% like it
Ninja Assassin For Hire
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Ninjas Are Holding This Shirt Up In Front Of Me Right Now.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
NO MATTER HOW LOUD I AM WHY CAN'T YOU HEAR MY WORDS!?!
of 26 votes, 19% like it
No Matter How Rich I Get, Cheap Feels Still Do the Trick.
of 33 votes, 6% like it
No Matter Where I Go, The World Keeps Following Me.
of 13 votes, 15% like it
No Matter Where It Goes, Oxygen is Always the Life of the Party.
of 70 votes, 33% like it
No Matter Your Weight, You Are Always Skin and Bones.
of 29 votes, 14% like it
No One Makes The Time For Heroic Quests Any More.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
Noise Pollution is the #1 Cause For So Much Music Being Recycled.
of 57 votes, 35% like it
Non-Sequitur Comments Are Great, But My Pet Frog Is Even Better.
of 36 votes, 42% like it
Noogies: Head Rubs Gone Bad!
of 26 votes, 15% like it
Nostalgic for a time when nostalgia didn't rule our lives
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Nostradamus Predicted You'd Be Reading This Shirt Today
of 204 votes, 27% like it
Not Asking For Directions When You Are Lost is a Character Flaw.
of 38 votes, 18% like it
Nothing Motivates People Like Fear, So... BOO!!!
of 15 votes, 27% like it
Nouns Are Sick and Tired of Being Objectified as Things!
of 51 votes, 24% like it
Nowadays, A Penny For Your Thoughts Will Only Buy You A Brainfart
of 32 votes, 28% like it
Nowadays, Ghosts Only Haunt If There's A TV Crew Present.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Nuclear Bombs Are Just Explosive Airmail.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Nude Beaches: Where The Sand REALLY Let's It All Hang Out.
of 19 votes, 26% like it
Numbers Below Zero Are Always So Negative.
of 24 votes, 25% like it
Numerous Studies Have Convinced Me That I Don't Like Reading Them
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Nuns and Chucks Are Peaceful Apart, But A Deadly Combination.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Nuns That Don't Shower Have Really Dirty Habits.
of 74 votes, 32% like it
Nurseries Are Proof That Babies Grow On Trees.
of 20 votes, 20% like it
Nursing A Beer Shows What A Kind-Hearted Helper I Am.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Occasionally My Neck Opens Up & Dispenses Tart Candy Squares.
of 119 votes, 38% like it
Octagons: Just 8 Tentacles Short Of Being An Underwater Menace.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
Octopi Overcompensate In Arms For What They Lack In Tails.
of 17 votes, 18% like it
Octopus Politicians Can Shake Eight Hands At Once.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Office Supplies Are Not A Staple Of a Good Diet.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Official 'T-Shirt: The Movie' T-Shirt
of 29 votes, 24% like it
Oh Shoots & Ladders: The Ultimate Game For Spoil Sports.
of 20 votes, 5% like it
Oh Sure I'm An Evil Genius, But That One Trait Doesn't Define Me.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
OJ Companies Lie To Us Through False Tales of Pulp Fiction.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
Old Cartoons Come Back To Life When You Re-Animate Them.
of 36 votes, 17% like it
Old Photographs Are Like Instant Time Travel Machines.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Old Photographs Don't Die, They Just Fade Away.
of 17 votes, 24% like it
Old School Filmmakers Always Keep It Reel.
of 40 votes, 20% like it
Old-School Filmmakers Try To Keep It Reel.
of 40 votes, 18% like it
Old-School Gamers Walk Through Life From Left to Right.
of 92 votes, 29% like it
Old-School Sound Technicians Like to Keep It Reel to Reel.
of 48 votes, 15% like it
Older Lightning Bolts Suffer From Hot Flashes.
of 34 votes, 26% like it
Olympic Swimmers Hang Out in Dive Bars.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
On an Expedition to Recover 5 Million Buried E.T. Cartridges
of 44 votes, 7% like it
On Hot & Sunny Days, Death Indulges In Pop-Sickles.
of 32 votes, 25% like it
On The Other Hand, You Have More Fingers.
of 15 votes, 20% like it
Once Hell Freezes Over, All My Dreams Will Come True.
of 49 votes, 16% like it
Once I Fix My Cloaking Device, You Won't Be Able To Read This.
of 22 votes, 32% like it
Once They Pass Away, DJ's Spin in Their Graves.
of 38 votes, 26% like it
Once Upon A Time, All Stories Began This Way.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
Once You Have Amnesia, Everything Old Is New Again!
of 21 votes, 38% like it
Once You've Sold Ur Soul to the Devil, Can You Re-Finance It Too?
of 3 votes, 33% like it
Once You've Sold Your Soul to the Devil, Can It Be Re-Financed?
of 47 votes, 26% like it
One More Word and We're Gonna Fight! Now, Which Word is It?
of 38 votes, 3% like it
one of my past lives definitely kicked your past life in the shin
of 41 votes, 12% like it
One of the Greatest Unsolved Crimes in History: Who Killed Latin?
of 48 votes, 27% like it
One Of The Strings On My Air Guitar Is Broken.
of 35 votes, 26% like it
one of your past lives definitely made my past life smile.
of 31 votes, 3% like it
Online War Games: Not A Contact Sport.
of 36 votes, 14% like it
Only Jerks And Total Losers Insult Other People.
of 38 votes, 34% like it
Only One In Ten People Go Completely Insane After Reading This.
of 30 votes, 27% like it
Only People Who Have Led Dirty Lives Flash Before Their Eyes.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Only Stupid People Can Count Backwards From Z.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Only The Coolest Wizards Wear Their Hats Backward.
of 44 votes, 27% like it
Only the Lord Can Judge Me. Oh, and Judges.
of 54 votes, 17% like it
Onomatopoeias Go BUMP! in the Night.
of 48 votes, 21% like it
Operators Are a Bunch of Big Phonies.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
Operators Will Always Be Number Zero In My Heart.
of 18 votes, 17% like it
OptimisticPessimist:I Hope For the Best,But It Ain't Gonna Happen
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Orange Juice Companies Lie To Us Through Tales of Pulp Fiction.
of 61 votes, 31% like it
Orange Juice Sounds Better Than Drinking An Orange's Blood.
of 18 votes, 28% like it
Original Sin is Tough Nowadays With People's Lack Of Creativity.
of 39 votes, 26% like it
Our Ancestors Are People We Can Really Relate To.
of 35 votes, 29% like it
Our Encounter May Contain Adult Situations & Brief Nudity.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Our Overlord Alien Masters Invented the Internet
of 37 votes, 8% like it
Our Shirts Seem to Like Each Other. Let's Give Them Some Privacy.
of 63 votes, 22% like it
Out of My Circle of Friends, I'm Known as the 'Interesting' One.
of 32 votes, 19% like it
Out With The Old Words, In With The Newlatastic!
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Out With The Old, In With The Soon-To-Be Old!
of 27 votes, 15% like it
Outer Space Features A Star-Studded Cast Of Characters.
of 18 votes, 33% like it
Outer Space is in Dire Need Of Some Rainbows.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Outer Space Really Expands Your Mind. And Then Blows It Up.
of 24 votes, 33% like it
Outer Space Takes My Breath Away!
of 36 votes, 14% like it
Outer Space Takes My Breath Away.
of 76 votes, 30% like it
Outer Space Thinks That Gravity Is A Myth.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
Outer Space: It'll Take Your Breath Away!
of 27 votes, 19% like it
Overworked Candles Get All Burned Out.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Owl Construction Sites Bring Hooting to a Whole New Level.
of 43 votes, 14% like it
Ownlee Weelie Schmat Peapole Kaan Reid Diz Slowgahn
of 32 votes, 13% like it
Oxygen: It's What I Live & Breathe For.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Pacemakers = Zombie and Vampire Zap Protectors.
of 52 votes, 8% like it
Pacing: The Preferred Exercise of Duelists Everywhere.
of 37 votes, 14% like it
Pacing: The Preferred Form of Exercise For Duelists Everywhere.
of 5 votes, 20% like it
Painkillers Are Not Hired Assassins That Murder Where It Hurts.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
Painting Your Submarine Yellow Greatly Increases Torpedo Attacks.
of 27 votes, 26% like it
Paintings Are So Lazy, All They Want To Do Is Hang Out.
of 21 votes, 29% like it
Paintings Are So Lazy, They Just Hang Around The House All Day.
of 33 votes, 21% like it
Palindromes Are Cool looC erA semordnilaP
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Paper Clips: The Touchy-Feely Hugger Of The Office Supply World.
of 20 votes, 30% like it
Paper Dies A Little Every Time You R.I.P. It.
of 16 votes, 31% like it
Parking Lot Robbery is a Lot Easier Than Highway Robbery.
of 35 votes, 26% like it
Party Animals Surround Their Prey on the Dancefloor.
of 158 votes, 34% like it
Passing Musical Notes is Way Too Loud During Class.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Payback’s A Female Dog.
of 23 votes, 9% like it
Peace Signs Can Also Be Used For the Deadly Double-Eye Poke.
of 65 votes, 35% like it
Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches Makes the World Stick Together.
of 83 votes, 24% like it
Pencils Gnaw On Themselves When They Get Nervous.
of 37 votes, 38% like it
Pennies Are the Red-Headed Stepchildren of the Currency Family.
of 40 votes, 25% like it
Pennies: The Only Currency Openly Mocked By Other Coins.
of 24 votes, 21% like it
People Can Be So Stupid When They Don't Put Their Minds To It.
of 17 votes, 12% like it
People Don't Shoot Guns. Fingers Are The Ones Who Shoot Guns.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
People Kill Time, Text Fills Space.
of 43 votes, 21% like it
People Really Seem To Be Into Whipping Dead Horses These Days.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
People Roll On the Floor Laughing A Lot More Than They Used To.
of 34 votes, 29% like it
People Say I'm A Good Listener. At Least I Think They Said That.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
People Say I'm Apathetic, But I Really Couldn't Care Less.
of 41 votes, 34% like it
People Say I'm Crazy, But They All Fly Away Before I Can Respond.
of 53 votes, 25% like it
People Talk About Grave Robbing Like It's A Bad Thing.
of 14 votes, 14% like it
People Tend To Howl Loudly When I Moon Them.
of 21 votes, 5% like it
People Who Belittle Others Are Pathetic Losers.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
People Who Can't Spell Never Feel Quite Write.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
People Who Dislike MP3 Devices Are Just Player Haters
of 40 votes, 13% like it
People Who Eat Bedspreads Are Full of Sheet
of 38 votes, 18% like it
People Who Have Cheese Allergies Shouldn't Stare At the Moon.
of 25 votes, 24% like it
People Who Just Say No To Inanimate Drugs Are Probably High.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
People Who Love Being Mean To Others Celehate On a Regular Basis.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
People Who Need Lots Of Reinforcement Annoy Me. Am I Right Folks?
of 36 votes, 33% like it
People: A Biodegradable Product.
of 23 votes, 26% like it
Periodic Tables Hate Exclamations, But Not Their Points.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
Perverted Submarines Look Up Aircraft Carrier's Skirts.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Pet Rocks Break Glass Windows When You Let Them Off The Leash.
of 53 votes, 38% like it
Phantoms Are Ghosts With A Touch Of Class.
of 20 votes, 25% like it
Phobias Scare The Hell Out Of Me.
of 13 votes, 23% like it
Phone Booths Are an Endangered Species.
of 53 votes, 15% like it
Photosynthesis is Communist Propaganda and I Can Prove It!
of 45 votes, 18% like it
Picked Last For Gym, But First For Group Projects.
of 22 votes, 36% like it
Picked Last In Gym But First In Life.
of 29 votes, 10% like it
Pictures Are So Lazy, All They Do Is Hang Around The House.
of 44 votes, 27% like it
Pie Charts Are As Delicious As They Are Informative.
of 26 votes, 31% like it
Pie-rates Are Really Tasty, Apart From The Scurvy Filling.
of 29 votes, 10% like it
Pieces of Bread Don't Like To Feel Too Toasty.
of 25 votes, 8% like it
Pieces Of Dark Matter Are Really Space Ninjas.
of 34 votes, 38% like it
Piggy Banks Are The Best Place To Save Your Extra Bacon.
of 57 votes, 28% like it
Pigs Secretly Love Bacon As Much As The Rest of Us.
of 54 votes, 28% like it
Pillow Fights End When One Sustains a Critical Loss of Feathers.
of 50 votes, 28% like it
Pimp Fireman Know How To Treat Their Hose.
of 28 votes, 21% like it
Pimpin' Aint Easy. But You Get To Wear Really Cool Clothes.
of 57 votes, 35% like it
Pinnochio Is Just Trying To Keep It Real, Boy.
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Pipe Cleaners Should Just Be Renamed Kindergarten Art Sculptures.
of 21 votes, 24% like it
Pirate Swimming Pools Have Planks Instead Of Diving Boards.
of 38 votes, 16% like it
Pirates Don't Share a Carpool Very Well.
of 6 votes, 17% like it
Pirates Knock On Their Wooden Peglegs For Good Luck.
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Pirates Versus Ninjas: Who Would Win a Hugging Competition?
of 46 votes, 26% like it
Pirates Who Eat Other Pirates Engage In Cannonballism.
of 37 votes, 24% like it
Pitchforks: Equally Good At Baling Hay Or Poking Evildoers.
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Plagiarism Is Like Robbing People's Memory Banks.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Planets Understand The Gravity Of Their Situation.
of 22 votes, 27% like it
Platinum Crosses Temporarily Blind God.
of 40 votes, 13% like it
Playground Mood Swings Always Go Too High Or Low.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
Playgrounds Encourage Child-ish Behaviors.
of 9 votes, 11% like it
Playgrounds Lead to Child-ish Behaviors.
of 25 votes, 12% like it
Playing "Whisper Down the Lane" With Ur Darkest Secrets
of 13 votes, 0% like it
Playing Cards Are Well Suited For Their Profession.
of 29 votes, 17% like it
Playing Cards Never Take Anything Seriously.
of 35 votes, 9% like it
Playing Hop Scotch As A Child Leads To A Life Of Drinking!
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Playing Tic-Tac-Toe Against Me Usually Ends With a XXX Experience
of 41 votes, 24% like it
Playing Tic-Tac-Toe With Me Usually Turns Into a XXX Affair
of 46 votes, 30% like it
Plays Always Feel So Staged.
of 28 votes, 25% like it
Please Ask Before Taking The Words Right Out Of My Mouth.
of 30 votes, 37% like it
Please Ask Before Taking Words Right Out Of My Mouth.
of 2 votes, 50% like it
Please Converse...There's SOMETHING To See Here
of 33 votes, 3% like it
Please Hold All My Calls, I'm In the Middle of a Play-Date.
of 26 votes, 19% like it
Please Respect My Wishes By Not Reading This Shirt.
of 54 votes, 39% like it
Please Stop Looking, You're Only Encouraging My Narcissism!
of 31 votes, 29% like it
Please Stop The Crazy Talk, I Can't Hear The Voices In My Head.
of 22 votes, 14% like it
Poison Cures Hiccups Fast
of 117 votes, 18% like it
Poison Is The Most Effective Cure For The Common Cold.
of 15 votes, 13% like it
Polar Bears May Go Extinct But Their Future On T-Shirts Is Secure
of 36 votes, 33% like it
Polka Dots Are The Art World’s Version Of Chicken Pox.
of 28 votes, 7% like it
Pooping Is My Favorite Weight-Loss Program.
of 23 votes, 17% like it
Pop Music: Turning Candy Shops Into Bordellos Since 2000.
of 45 votes, 9% like it
Popping an Army Officer/Popping Too Soon = Dishonorable Discharge
of 44 votes, 7% like it
Popularity Isn't Everything. Just Ask My Millions of Friends.
of 43 votes, 26% like it
Porcupines Make Really Awful Running Shoes.
of 29 votes, 21% like it
Possession Is 9/10ths of the Law Of Exorcism.
of 61 votes, 20% like it
Pot Holes: Not As Fun To Fall Into As They Sound.
of 62 votes, 21% like it
Preschool Protozoa Play With Cell Blocks.
of 19 votes, 11% like it
President Of The Never Closing The Screen Door Club.
of 24 votes, 17% like it
President, CEO and Mascot Of Me, Myself & I Inc.
of 28 votes, 14% like it
Prevent The Spread of Yawning Outbreaks By Getting Lots of Sleep!
of 27 votes, 22% like it
Prison is Just a Mandatory Gated Community.
of 51 votes, 29% like it
Pro Nouns Are Called Up From the Grammatical Minor Leagues
of 33 votes, 15% like it
Professional Bed Bug Exterminator: Free Bedroom Consultations!
of 45 votes, 4% like it
Professional Sea Chanty Composer
of 8 votes, 0% like it
Protractors Know How To Work All The Angles.
of 1 votes, 100% like it
Protractors Know How To Work All The Right Angles.
of 19 votes, 16% like it
Puppets Talk Out Of Their Ass When You Put Them On Backwards.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Put Your Hands in the Air Like You Don't Care! Now, With Feeling.
of 53 votes, 13% like it
Putting On a Silk Shirt is Like Wearing A Worm's Poop Costume.
of 21 votes, 10% like it
Pyramids Are Proof That Egyptians Loved Geometry Class.
of 79 votes, 39% like it
Pyromaniacs Have Good Intentions That Always Go Up in Flames.
of 415 votes, 36% like it
Pyromaniacs set my heart ablaze
of 30 votes, 3% like it
Pythons Are Lousy Huggers.
of 25 votes, 28% like it
Q: How Do Mathletes Say Goodbye? A: Calcu-LATER!
of 25 votes, 16% like it
Question Indisputable Facts
of 34 votes, 9% like it
Quiet! The Voices Inside My Head Are Trying To Think!
of 45 votes, 27% like it
Quit Looking For an Outlet on Me, You Can't Pull My Plug
of 3 votes, 0% like it
Rabbits Vs. Kangaroos: The Ultimate Hip-Hop Battle!
of 14 votes, 29% like it
Raging Waters Need To See An Anger Therapist.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Rainbows Are Made From Unicorn Blood.
of 30 votes, 23% like it
Rainbows Are Really Gold-Transfer Tubes Disguised By Leprechauns.
of 40 votes, 35% like it
Rainbows Are Really Used For Clouds Playing Sky Limbo.
of 20 votes, 10% like it
Rainbows Didn't Choose To Be Gay, They Are Just Born That Way.
of 53 votes, 30% like it
Rainbows Pass Over Our Heads With Flying Colors
of 35 votes, 14% like it
Raise Both Your Hands If You Like Getting Arrested!
of 25 votes, 16% like it
Raise Both Your Legs If You Like To Jump!
of 14 votes, 29% like it
Raise Your Second Hand If You Still Like Watches.
of 18 votes, 22% like it
Raise Your Tentacles If You Like Mutants!
of 27 votes, 37% like it
Raised on a Construction Site by Pirates- So Yeah, I Curse A Lot
of 167 votes, 21% like it
Raisin Brain is Part of a Zombie's Complete Breakfast
of 42 votes, 17% like it
Raising the Dead is Really Hard on the Knees.
of 92 votes, 39% like it
Random Hitchhiking Gets a Big Thumbs Up From Me.
of 33 votes, 24% like it
Random This Sentence is One.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
Rap Groups Have Already Taken All the Coolest Clan Names.
of 28 votes, 18% like it
Reaching For The Stars Gave Me Super Invibility Power
of 4 votes, 25% like it
Reaching For The Stars Gave Me Super Invincibility Power!
of 25 votes, 8% like it
Reading Funny Shirts All Day Burns 18 Calories. Way To Exercise!
of 21 votes, 19% like it
Reading Helps Your Brain Grow Stronger. You’re Welcome.
of 25 votes, 20% like it
Reading Improves Your Health. You're Welcome.
of 27 votes, 33% like it
Reading Is Good For You. I Just Made Your Eyes Healthier.
of 25 votes, 16% like it
Reading Is Good For You. This Shirt Just Made You Healthier!
of 24 votes, 29% like it
Reading the Word "Szechuan" Instantly Spices Up a Boring Tee
of 31 votes, 13% like it
Reading This is Like Giving Your Eyes a Back Massage, Ain't It?
of 39 votes, 10% like it
Reading This Only Encourages Me.
of 22 votes, 23% like it
Reading This Sentence is a Binding Agreement to Be in My Fanclub.
of 54 votes, 26% like it
Reading This Tee May Cause Eye Strain And Higher Blood Pressure.
of 33 votes, 27% like it
Reading Words In Ur Head is Like Receiving Telepathic Morse Code
of 17 votes, 6% like it
Reality Game Shows Need More Gauntlets.
of 50 votes, 16% like it
Rebellious Airplanes Constantly Disobey Their Control Towers.
of 21 votes, 14% like it
Recapture Your Youth By Getting Kidnapped.
of 32 votes, 22% like it
Rectal Temps Suck if You Don't Know Your Ass From Your Elbow
of 24 votes, 13% like it
Recycle Bottles Not Jokes.
of 21 votes, 33% like it
Recycling Is Just Pieces Of Garbage Being Reincarnated.
of 38 votes, 26% like it
Red Carpet Always Gets Invited To The Most Exclusive Events.
of 44 votes, 27% like it
Red-Headed Stepchildren Get a Bad Rap. Sometimes in the Mouth.
of 54 votes, 15% like it
Reduce Reused And Recycled Ideas.
of 23 votes, 22% like it
Reincarnation: Nature's Recycling Program At Work.
of 41 votes, 29% like it
Relationships With Seasons Are Hard Because They Keep Changing.
of 22 votes, 18% like it
Religion Gives Me a Headache Directly in the Temple.
of 48 votes, 23% like it
Religion: I'm Into It For All The Sects.
of 28 votes, 32% like it
Religion: It's Good For All Kinds of Sects.
of 4 votes, 25% like it
Religious